Fired nanny in the heat of the moment..
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Anonymous
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Yesterday, my nanny was over an hour late. She is supposed to arrive at work at 8am, and I didn't hear from her until 8:45 and she arrived here at 9:15. I sent her a text at 8:10 and when I didn't hear back from her, I started calling and my all calls went straight to voicemail. When she finally returned my call around 8:45, she was very apologetic and claimed her phone didn't charge through the night and ended up dying, so her alarm didn't go off, hence making her oversleep. That also explains why my calls went to voicemail. She sounded very apologetic and told me she would be there as fast as she could.
The nanny was visibly upset when she got here, and we had a talk about the incident. Things started out calmly, but I just couldn't shake how she was so irresponsible and didn't have a good excuse except "my charger must have come unplugged". I'm currently pregnant with my second, and my hormones are all over the place, so I know I was way more angry than I should have been. I work from home, but since she wasn't here, I had to watch my 18 month old and missed an important 8:30 call. I don't know what I was thinking, but in the heat of my anger from missing my call, I fired her on the spot. I didn't offer any notice or severance, just told her I didn't think this was going to work out anymore and told her to go home. She was shocked and left teary-eyed. I feel like I made a mistake. She has been with us since my daughter was 3 months old. My child loves her and she's been a good nanny. She's never been late before- maybe a few minutes here and there, but nothing like this. I was just so upset that I fired her in the heat of the moment. I texted her this morning asking if we could talk, then another text with a long message apologizing for my behavior, but she hasn't responded even though the text is marked "read". That was over an hour ago. Now, I'm sitting here scrambling texting all my family members trying to find someone to watch my kid for a few hours so I can get some work done. I have absolutely no leads for a new nanny. I feel like my old one has seen my true colors and would never come back to work for me again. I feel shit out of luck. Am I insane? I slightly regret firing her, but being over an hour late is a big deal. She really put me in a bind. Who is in the wrong here?? |
Anonymous
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You are. Tell me you have never had an alarm error in your entire life.
You were within your rights as a boss to be angry, annoyed, to tell her that she was irresponsible. All of that would have been over-the-top unless this was a pattern with her, but it would at least have made sense. Instead, you wouldn't let it go after her explanation and FIRED HER! She is not a boyfriend you break up with during a fight and then go apologize to and have a makeup cuddle. She's a grown woman who saw you completely lose your shit, attack her verbally, and then yank her job out from under her. My guess is that she doesn't care *why* it happened. She just got fired for being late to work one time. She probably wants to stay away from you. Please imagine you were her and the phone excuse was the literal truth. Would you ever want to risk that kind of reaction again? |
Anonymous
| Send her flowers with a note apologizing. |
Anonymous
| You are wrong.. this just happened to me last week, but I was able to get out the house and was like 3min late. Good nannies are hard to find, so when you do find them, you keep them. |
Anonymous
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Don't be so hard on yourself. Everybody makes mistakes. I personally set up 2-3 alarms, in case that I sleep through the first one, because I don't want to be late to work. I'm a nanny, and I had a position in the past, where I had to start working by 6am. Getting there relaying on public transportation was challenging and also meant that I had to get up very early in the morning to catch up the bus. One morning my phone just died due to the multiple alarms going off that the same time. Thankfully I was awake by then, but if I weren't, I don't imagine my boss firing me because of that. After that incident, even tho I wasn't late for work, I decided to buy a separate alarm clock in case that something happen to my phone.
Talk to your nanny, she might understand the situation. If not, that's okay too and you can move on to another nanny and take your time to make future decisions. |
Anonymous
She might, but this was way over the line of reasonable behavior. If I were that nanny, I would wonder what else this mom would expect me to excuse in the name of hormones. I had a father who would overreact like this, and no amount of money in the world would make me stay in a job with someone who can't control herself better than this. |
Anonymous
| You sound nuts and I hope your nanny finds a wonderful new family. This exact thing happened once to me and my Boss had a very important meeting which he missed. I felt terrible and apologised profusely. Unlike you he understood things happen and it wasn't intentional. Five years later I'm still on the job. You sound awful. |
Anonymous
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You went pregnancy crazy. You'd best leave naming this child to your husband. I hate people who keep calling over and over once someone hasn't answered their phone.
Tell her you would like to give her the job back because you had a moment of insanity, but if she's not comfortable coming back you understand and will give her two week's severance. Promise yourself you won't make any big decisions in the moment and without your spouse's input until three or so months after giving birth. |
Anonymous
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You definitely are OP.
Reason being is that this was an honest mistake on her part. In fifteen months she has not called in sick so this sounds to me like a very isolated incident to me. It could happen to anybody!! You overreacted & owe her a full apology. Yes, you have pregnancy hormones and all, but still.... If I were her, I could never go back to working for you again. I would always wonder if I would get fired + would be constantly walking on eggshells at work. I honestly do not think what occurred is a justifiable reason to get fired. |
Anonymous
| You fired her for being an hour late ONCE? No other reason? Umm, yes you're insane. |
Anonymous
| Wow, OP, you are absolutely wrong here. She was late once and you went nuts on her. Send her flowers and a hand written apology note. |
Anonymous
| So you have a great nanny who agreed to work for you even though you work from home(nanny phobia) and pregnant at home(second nanny phobia) but because of an hour of lateness you fired her? You were wrong. Stop calling and texting her. You and your husband should pay her a visite tonight with flower and pastries sincerely apologize and let her know it's up to her if she wants to come back or not. Also you owe her a severance pay. Do not even deny her that if in your contract. |
Anonymous
While this advice may work, it also sounds like what every abuser does to his victim to lure her back in ... OP, please find some coping skills that you will always, always use when you are angry that will help you have a more reasonable response. An apology never fixes the damage entirely. And I work from home and have four close-in-age children and a husband with ADD. I know from crazy angry. But I would never, never let it show like that. |
Anonymous
| Op, I think maybe the stress of having a nanny might be to much for you. It might be easier on you to use a day care. |
Anonymous
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Call her asap and apologize and ask her to come back.
say you were very thrown off guard this morning and missed an important call and you had no idea where she was. then discuss how you both can prevent this from ever happening again. do this now. the more time that goes by, the harder it will be to repair. |