Creepy Grandpa
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Anonymous
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MB father lives several blocks away and visits us unannounced 2-3 times a week. He makes me feel uncomfortable. He's yet to be outright lewd but he will make comments almost every time he visits that I consider inappropriate.
For example, the most alarming comment I've gotten was when I was bottle feeding the baby breastmilk and he said "I'm sure he'd just prefer that milk straight from the tap. Poor kid is probably confused, it's right in front of him and he can't even have it." I awkwardly laugh and say nothing, it makes me so uncomfortable. Otherwise he'll say to B4 something along the lines of, "Oh, you can't take advantage of [me] just because she's a pretty girl." Often he'll make comments about me "going wild" when I'm off work. Just joking around either at my expense or in a way that's not really appropriate for a 64-year-old man to do to a twenty-something when she's alone taking care of his grandkids. I obviously can't just tell MB her dad creeps me out. But I totally dread seeing him. Thankfully he only spends 15-20 minutes tops but it still makes me feel trapped. |
Anonymous
| Oh jeez. I don't have any advice at all, except to say I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. |
Anonymous
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"I know you're in your daughter's home, but I'm at my workplace, so if you would refrain from commenting on my breasts I would greatly appreciate it."
Or ask the MB to ask him to stop. |
Anonymous
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These things are all borderline. I think you need to call him on it, politely but consistently. He's either clueless and sexist, in which case thinking you're a humorless shrew will resolve the issue or he's being creepy on purpose and you will need to involve MB, but you'll be able to tell her that you at least tried to be direct.
If he comments on your body/looks: "I'd prefer you not comment on my body/looks. I am at work." If he jokes about your free time: "I'd prefer that you not speculate about my social life." |
Anonymous
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I am really sorry, OP. That sounds truly awful.
I agree with th PP who suggested that you be forceful and tell him that his jokes make you uncomfortable. |
Anonymous
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Agreeing with 13:00 and 13:15. You're a big girl - tell him to cut it out.
And tell your MB that her father is being inappropriate and you would prefer that he not come over while you are there. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, I disagree that this isn't over the line. I know some men think this kind of thing is flirty and women like it, but it is totally inappropriate. |
Anonymous
| It's a generational thing. You're not going to fix it. Just relax and flip him shit right back. He's just trying to joke around (albeit inappropriately.) Maybe talk to your MB about it...ask her how she handles him or if it would be over the line if you say something a little sassy back like calling him a dirty old man or something like that. |
Anonymous
Totally not a generational thing! WTF? The chance my father would do anything remotely like this is 0. |
Anonymous
Yeah, sure as hell my dad wouldn't speak like this either. However, I know many men in their early 20's who think it's funny to make borderline jokes. It's not a generational thing, it's a sexist dick thing. |
Anonymous
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If this was me I would do two things:
1. make it as awkward for Grandpa as he is making it for you "wow, that was rude" " that was inappropriate" blank look till he backs off. 2. Have a conversation with MB -> Your Dad talked about my breasts the other day, so inappropriate and not something that should be happening at work. Some of his other comments are making me uncomfortable too. Then state what you want to happen: Don't want to be alone with him anymore? Want her to have a talk with him? If he drops past and you just don't feel like you can cope with a visit at that moment just don't open the door. |
Anonymous
| When I was in my 20's, I put up with a lot of men's slightly inappropriate comments. Now that I'm older, I imagine that they are just slightly older little boys and I deal with it the way I deal with my sons if they are rude. "Please don't talk to me like that." or even, "That's not really funny." I find I only need to say it once. But - having said that - he will then trash you to your employer so you will need to tell her. Possibly tell her in a casual way - "your dad said your son was confused because he was drinking milk but not from my boobs. I told him I didn't think it was funny ... " |
Anonymous
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Let it go.
As long as he's not physically doing anything, it's not really a problem. I mean, I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable but that's just part of life. If it's that bad, you can quit. |
Anonymous
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No, this is not all right.
This is part of the f'd up patriarchal society that we live in. That so many women are willing to tolerate inappropriate comments from an older man in position of power (employer vs employee). Tell him curtly and sternly to "Cut it out John". If he persists, document word for word his comments, and tell your boss that it is highly inappropriate, and you wish him not to come over anymore while you are on duty. All women must stand up for ourselves and each other to finally change these attitudes and prevent them from being passed down from generation to generation. - WOHM MB |
Anonymous
NFW. It is totally unacceptable for Older to do this to younger men. so why should it be "part of life" that they do it to women? You have bought into centuries of behavior that keeps women down and being treated as equals. If every single woman in this country started calling this sh*t out, it would end within a few years, and not be repeated for our daughters. |