New nanny - Money drama

[Anonymous]

Our current nanny is moving out of state. She found a potential replacement for us (a fellow nanny she met while taking my kid to the park a few yrs back. She has stayed in touch with this nanny and they are now friends). We interviewed the potential nanny and liked her.

I did a reference check on her and the former employer said she was wonderful with her kids but needed to be managed as far as money/contract stuff goes. By this she meant that the potential nanny had no problem asking for raises, bonuses, paid cell phone and paid insurance (which weren't requested/negotiated when the contract was signed), etc. Former employer said the nanny never balked if her requests were denied but she would continue to make these monetary asks.

We are in the process of putting together an offer because she interviewed well, my D.C. already knows her and her review was positive except for the money piece.

Here's the drama. My current nanny came to me today and asked if we could discuss an issue that was bothering her. Turns out that the potential nanny told her that we had offered her a guaranteed raise of X amount each year which is not part of current nanny's compensation. Current nanny felt slighted and taken advantage of by us so she came to me to find out if this was true. In addition, potential nanny told current nanny that current nanny doesn't have to pay potential nanny while she shadows her before the transition happens. I haven't negotiated a single thing with the potential nanny and I'm resenting her at this point for causing drama in my house.

Anyone ever employee a nanny like this before? I'm torn because she's great aside from the constant money talk. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I'd find someone else. Sounds like a lot of drama before she even is employed by you.

[Anonymous]

The new nanny sounds like trouble, OP. Ask the new nanny directly and she how she answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The new nanny sounds like trouble, OP. Ask the new nanny directly and she how she answers.

Not to be obtuse but what should I ask - whether she lied to my current nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The new nanny sounds like trouble, OP. Ask the new nanny directly and she how she answers.

Not to be obtuse but what should I ask - whether she lied to my current nanny?

Ask her what she told your nanny exactly. You could also mention her references concerns about her regarding money and clear up that you will honor the contract/initial agreement and never consider anything more.

[Anonymous]

Red flags everywhere, OP.

And I do have a 100% No Drama Nanny and LOVE it. I do not have the energy for cheap drama.

[Anonymous]

Nope, nope, nope, nope. Even if you tell her the contract is set in stone, nothing will ever be finished with her. If you spell out no cell phone, raises every x year(s), even the dollar amount of her Christmas gift, she will ask for more spending money, insurance money, money for driving ... whatever occurs to her.

She is LYING to your current nanny (and supposed friend) to make herself sound like a smooth negotiator and causing problems in your home. Just wait until she starts accusing you of "forgetting" that you promised her things.

There will be drama when you rescind the offer, but I would suffer it. This is going to make you crazy.

[Anonymous]

They're giving you a fair warning. Listen.

I can't stand people who try to spend my money.

[Anonymous]

Thank your lucky stars that you are seeing all of this now BEFORE you hire her. And then do not hire her.

Tell your current nanny that you have had zero conversation about money or compensation or raises with the candidate. Then tell the candidate that you are very sorry but you do not think this is a good fit.

As others have said, you have evidence of her lying about conversations she allegedly have with you. That's a deal breaker in my book.

You have a reference that tells you she is a constant thorn in the side re compensation and benefits. That's not something you want to deal with.

Get out of it now and be thankful you were spared!!!

[Anonymous]

This "potential" Nanny sounds like she is all about the money here.

There is the strong possibility that she may even think your children are cash cows.

Sure, I fully understand that this is a job & that money is an important factor to be discussed prior to starting.
I have heard enough horror stories on here to know this for sure.

However this Nanny appears to be fixated a lot on money plus she hasn't even started working + yet she is already causing drama in your life.

Trust me, this will only get worse later down the line.

There are too many fine Nannies out there to deal w/a money-obsessed drama queen.

You need to rescind her job offer and keep looking.

Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be the voice of dissent here. This is a job. The money talk is completely appropriate. Her former employer said she was not shy asking for raises and benefits. She didn't bully or pout when denied. She simply asked. Isn't that what we are all told we should be doing more of as women? I say kudos to her.

She and your current nanny are friends. She gave her pertinent information and advice. Your nanny *has* been taken advantage of by you if she's been with you for years and never got a raise. Someone *should* tell her to stand up for herself. And no way should former nanny be paying new nanny during shadowing. YOU should be.

Your new nanny sounds like a great nanny (she came highly recommended by your nanny and a former employer, and you liked her). Do not hold against her the fact that she also takes herself seriously as a professional and expects to be well compensated as well. We're this any other industry, no one would fault her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the voice of dissent here. This is a job. The money talk is completely appropriate. Her former employer said she was not shy asking for raises and benefits. She didn't bully or pout when denied. She simply asked. Isn't that what we are all told we should be doing more of as women? I say kudos to her.

She and your current nanny are friends. She gave her pertinent information and advice. Your nanny *has* been taken advantage of by you if she's been with you for years and never got a raise. Someone *should* tell her to stand up for herself. And no way should former nanny be paying new nanny during shadowing. YOU should be.

Your new nanny sounds like a great nanny (she came highly recommended by your nanny and a former employer, and you liked her). Do not hold against her the fact that she also takes herself seriously as a professional and expects to be well compensated as well. We're this any other industry, no one would fault her.

Um, no. She reported agreements to the current nanny that do not exist (yet, if at all). She kept asking for raises, extra money, bonuses, throughout the year. The fact that BOTH the reference emphasized this problem AND the old nanny reports that she is bragging about compensation she has not been given suggests that this is not your regular "advocate for yourself"-type relationship to money.

The OP can choose to ignore this, but I could not deal with it.

[Anonymous]

We have a nanny like this and it is a true stresser. Obviously it is a balance because our nanny is AWESOME but I have to be honest the constant wrangling over money for this, money for that is exhausting. Just keep that in mind. I believe your reference was getting to this point.

[Anonymous]

Stay away stay away. She is a liar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to be the voice of dissent here. This is a job. The money talk is completely appropriate. Her former employer said she was not shy asking for raises and benefits. She didn't bully or pout when denied. She simply asked. Isn't that what we are all told we should be doing more of as women? I say kudos to her.

She and your current nanny are friends. She gave her pertinent information and advice. Your nanny *has* been taken advantage of by you if she's been with you for years and never got a raise. Someone *should* tell her to stand up for herself. And no way should former nanny be paying new nanny during shadowing. YOU should be.

Your new nanny sounds like a great nanny (she came highly recommended by your nanny and a former employer, and you liked her). Do not hold against her the fact that she also takes herself seriously as a professional and expects to be well compensated as well. We're this any other industry, no one would fault her.

Um, no. She reported agreements to the current nanny that do not exist (yet, if at all). She kept asking for raises, extra money, bonuses, throughout the year. The fact that BOTH the reference emphasized this problem AND the old nanny reports that she is bragging about compensation she has not been given suggests that this is not your regular "advocate for yourself"-type relationship to money.

The OP can choose to ignore this, but I could not deal with it.

The reference still recommended her, and OP has only gotten one side of the alleged conversation. Doesn't this woman deserve a chance to defend herself? Maybe current nanny misunderstood, or is angry she never thought to ask for such things. I just think it's a bit crazy to act like someone, particularly a woman, is a money grubber for having the audacity to ask for what she wants. Who knows how many times she asked. Some people are put off by the asking at all, and its not fair. Only OP knows the specifics of the "asks" and i think she should give the potential nanny a chance to explain before writing her off because of complaints from an angry nanny.