Is this rude of me?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes when our nanny arrives, I'm home, but in the middle of something (I work from home) so I don't go and say hello. She has our housekey so let's herself in and I leave instructions for her on the kitchen table. She picks DC up from preschool so it's not like I have to officially hand DC off or anything. I'm home all day but sometimes don't say hello to her until the evening. If you were a nanny, would you consider this rude?

[Anonymous]

I'm not a nanny and think it's rude. How hard is it to at least yell out "Hi Christine!" when you hear her open the door? Unless you're on a call you should do that.

[Anonymous]

MB here. It seems pretty off-putting to me OP. To just leave written instructions without saying hi, when you're in the building, feels pretty cold.

Not that you have to go out of your way if you're working in an office on a different floor and the nanny is part-time, or whatever, but it seems like a little effort invested in being friendly and welcoming might pay big dividends.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. It wouldn't bother me. However if I know you're home, I will probably announce my arrival with a "Good morning!" at the door just to avoid startling you.

[Anonymous]

Is the MB asking or the nanny asking? Because yes, it's totally rude.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and wouldn't be bothered by this, especially if you told me up front this is how you are. I might have been bothered by it when I was a new nanny but now I've worked for several different kinds of families and have learned to just go with the flow. I'd only be bothered if there was something we needed to talk about and you weren't making yourself available for that. Sounds like this situation might vary with personalities.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course, it is rude. It would take 30 seconds to greet her.

[Anonymous]

Since she is bringing your child home from preschool, I can understand wanting to quietly stay in the office just to avoid getting the child excited about mommy being there (out of sight out of mind).

If you haven't already, then I would, at least one time, say to nanny directly "I am sorry I don't usually say hello when you arrive; as you know I'm working and I'm often in the middle of something work related when you get here. I really appreciate the great job you're doing, and thanks for understanding that I can't always say hello." Something like that.

[Anonymous]

I'm a manny and DB works from home in along with 5-8 other employees. I don't think it's rude at all. He's at work, I don't expect him to run upstairs and greet me or the kids every time we come and go, thats why they hired me. The big plus is he's "home" promptly every day to relieve me, never late!

[Anonymous]

I think you could make the effort to say a quick hello. After all, she has turned up to help you/your family and she might start getting the feeling she isn't welcomed or liked.

[Anonymous]

You must be a joy to work for. NOT! Self-centeted, self-important, rude.

[Anonymous]

If she arrives during an important conference call for instance, then I am sure that she totally is okay w/you not greeting her right off the bat.

But as soon as you are off, it is kind of cold to not make a concentrated effort to personally greet her & give her instructions face-to-face vs. written on a piece of paper.
Plus as a team working together, it is vital that you both touch base on a daily basis for the best interest of your child.

No matter how "busy" you may be working, you can always take a few minutes to greet + chat w/your child's caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here and it would seriously never occur to me to care. I might not even notice. If you are in the same room, then sure, yell out "Hey!" Without looking up, but in an office elsewhere in the house? Nope.

[Anonymous]

There has to be one or two bitter, unprofessional nannies replying multiple times to threads lately, these responses are just too much.

No OP, it is not rude. The nanny hasn't "turned up to help you", you do not need to give her face-to-face instructions everyday (seriously, any other thread and the nannies would be up your a$$ for micromanaging), you are not self-important just because you don't leave your work day to disrupt your child's routine daily to say "hello".

Don't we hear all the time on here that WAH parents need to be never seen nor heard? Yet when the opportunity to bash an employer comes up, the harpies are poised with every insult they can think of?

Like PP stated, it would not occur to most rational adults to be offended, let alone notice, your lack of daily greeting.

[Anonymous]

If the nanny hasn't turned up to help with the child, what is she doing then?