WWYD? Nanny often late and today no-show

[Anonymous]

Our nanny started with us two months ago in mid-October and so far, she has shown up late for the following reasons:

1. Received letter from Immigration saying she sent in wrong form. She had to go to lawyer's office to get new form, fill out & mail in. 2 hours late.

2. Ran late checking out an apartment to move into. 30 minutes late.

3. Mistakenly bought return plane ticket for a Monday (work day) instead of Sunday. 4.5 hours late.

4. Her start time one day was a few hours earlier than usual (we planned this a week in advance). I reconfirmed with her the start time on the night before and she had a brain fart and thought I said a time 15 minutes later. 15 minutes late.

FYI I am the OP of this thread re: her daily lateness:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/329805.page

Also I should mention that she starts work at 1:30 p.m. four days a week & in the morning one day a week so she has most mornings to take care of personal matters.

At our first review last week, I brought up her daily tardiness and she's been on time the past two days. I did not bring up her excessive lateness at the review because all of the reasons were of a nonrecurring nature and I had wanted to focus on her daily lateness and one other issue. Today, she texted me at 8:30 a.m. saying she had eaten something bad for dinner the night before, vomited this morning and therefore could not come in today at her 1:30 p.m. start time If she didn't have all of her other issues I enumerated above, I would not even stop to think about her taking a sick day. But in the larger picture, it feels like her threshold for not coming in to work (or being late) is much lower than what I think is right. In her shoes, if I puked in the morning and I didn't go to work until the afternoon, I would still try to go to work. I would let my boss know my situation and the possibility that I might not be coming in if I felt truly horribly and that she should feel free to find someone to fill in. If she didn't find someone else, I would go in even if I weren't 100% so long as I wasn't truly horribly sick. As to the immigration situation, I understand she felt stressed and that she needed to mail off the form ASAP, but it did not have to be done that day. She could have come in to work on time, then finished it off the next morning (since she wasn't working) instead of being late to work trying to get it wrapped up that day. She in fact did not mail the letter for two days.

Anyway, I'm wondering how to deal with the situation today. She is entitled to five paid sick days and two weeks' paid vacation under the contract, but fyi she still has not signed it...! I want to maintain a good relationship with her, but I feel like I need to be firm with her, too. I just don't know if today is the right time. I feel like I should tell her she should try to come in to work today if she can, but this might really upset her. Also, I've been paying her for all the time she has been late (the one time she came 4.5 hours late, one of her friends/fellow nanny filled in so I paid our nanny who paid her friend) even though technically, she is not entitled to paid personal time outside of actual vacation and sick time and in any case, she hasn't accrued any. I think I need to stop this, too.

Sorry if my post is rambling and long, trying to write in a hurry. I would really appreciate some thoughts on my situation. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I would fire her - bad start and isn't helping you. Done. *(might feel differently if this was one bad month for a nanny that you loved and had been there 5 years or something but this is getting off on the wrong foot).

[Anonymous]

I say this as nicely and gently as I can: you are an idiot. Really, a complete idiot pushover. FIRE HER. Why are you putting up with this crap? And you don't give someone all their days off at the beginning of employment - they accrue them as they work more and more. And why are you paying her for time when she's late? There is no negative consequence to her when she's late since you do that.

FIRE. HER.

[Anonymous]

If you have to post here, you know the answer. Terminate her. She is not reliable. I would not go to work with kids after throwing up but who knows if she's being truthful or just had a night out of drinking. Text her you are letting her go and find someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to post here, you know the answer. Terminate her. She is not reliable. I would not go to work with kids after throwing up but who knows if she's being truthful or just had a night out of drinking. Text her you are letting her go and find someone else.

I throw up from motion sickness and migraines. So it's no big deal to me to throw up, brush my teeth, and then continue on with the day. While I'm waiting to puke I'm a mess, but once I throw up I feel so much better, and it's not something anyone can catch.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I spoke with the nanny about an hour ago and she told me she has frequent diarrhea, has been unable to eat anything, etc. I think she's justified not coming to work today so I'm not going to make an issue out of anything for the moment. If she had no absences (she's had one, unpaid) or lateness to date, I would just go ahead and pay her a sick day despite being under no obligation to do so under the contract (PTO starts accruing on Jan 1), but I'm not going to. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, just tell her I'm paying her for four days worked when I pay her on Friday.

As to PP who says I've been an idiot - I agree! I really liked her from the start and decided not to deduct her pay for tardiness as a show of goodwill, but I'm definitely not going to do this anymore. I agree that it means no consequences for her. Also, I don't have a set start time for work like she does and in hindsight, she is definitely abusing this. She texted me about 15 minutes before her start time saying she was going to be a half hour late due to the apartment viewing running over (issue #2 in my original post). If she knew I had to be at work at X time, I don't think she would have been so cavalier about running late.

And just to clarify, she hasn't taken any PTO. Yes I've been dumb and paid her a few hours total for when she was late, but the one time she asked for a day off, I said it would have to be unpaid. And I'm not going to let her take unpaid time off anymore, not for the next three months, anyway. I get the sense that if I'm not firm on this, she will abuse this, too. Anyway, lesson learned!

[Anonymous]

Good for you OP. Stay firm.

[Anonymous]

This person is not prepared for full time work. It doesn't matter if she was justified today; today wouldn't have even registered as a problem if she hadn't already been late so often and had so many last-minute issues. When you can't show up to work regularly on time, then when you really do get sick, too bad for you. Responsible people save their time off and employer's good will for emergencies; she has not done this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This person is not prepared for full time work. It doesn't matter if she was justified today; today wouldn't have even registered as a problem if she hadn't already been late so often and had so many last-minute issues. When you can't show up to work regularly on time, then when you really do get sick, too bad for you. Responsible people save their time off and employer's good will for emergencies; she has not done this at all.

OP here. I agree with what you are saying, there are people who are conscientious about their time off and those who are not and she definitely falls in the latter category. I am willing to give her a chance though because it's partly my fault for having enabled her and ever since our review, I can tell she is really trying to address the two issues I raised, for example, she has started work on time every day since (minus the sick day). I know she is really happy with us and wants to keep this job and I'm hopeful that she will be able to change her ways enough that we can all be happy.!

[Anonymous]

So she was significantly late due to her own issues (form, plane erx) and you paid her anyway? Didn't even count it agains Her pto? And now you wonder why she feels on texting you at the last minute saying she can't come in. and she hasn't sines a contract? Fire her. Tell her it's not working out. She's clearly not ready for a professional job. Any other job would have fired.or at least reprimanded and definitely not paid for her lateness. If she's this cavalier about her timeliness how absentminded can she be with your kids when you're not there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This person is not prepared for full time work. It doesn't matter if she was justified today; today wouldn't have even registered as a problem if she hadn't already been late so often and had so many last-minute issues. When you can't show up to work regularly on time, then when you really do get sick, too bad for you. Responsible people save their time off and employer's good will for emergencies; she has not done this at all.

OP here. I agree with what you are saying, there are people who are conscientious about their time off and those who are not and she definitely falls in the latter category. I am willing to give her a chance though because it's partly my fault for having enabled her and ever since our review, I can tell she is really trying to address the two issues I raised, for example, she has started work on time every day since (minus the sick day). I know she is really happy with us and wants to keep this job and I'm hopeful that she will be able to change her ways enough that we can all be happy.!

You gave her a 2 month trial. You are not "enabling her" you are being taken advantage of. Find a better care provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This person is not prepared for full time work. It doesn't matter if she was justified today; today wouldn't have even registered as a problem if she hadn't already been late so often and had so many last-minute issues. When you can't show up to work regularly on time, then when you really do get sick, too bad for you. Responsible people save their time off and employer's good will for emergencies; she has not done this at all.

OP here. I agree with what you are saying, there are people who are conscientious about their time off and those who are not and she definitely falls in the latter category. I am willing to give her a chance though because it's partly my fault for having enabled her and ever since our review, I can tell she is really trying to address the two issues I raised, for example, she has started work on time every day since (minus the sick day). I know she is really happy with us and wants to keep this job and I'm hopeful that she will be able to change her ways enough that we can all be happy.!

You gave her a 2 month trial. You are not "enabling her" you are being taken advantage of. Find a better care provider.

Pp again. My nanny shows up 15 min early minimum to change and settle in before taking the baby and calls if she will be late (2ce in 6 months) and her "late" was walking through the door at 2 min before her start time. There are good and timely and responsible people out there that understand the value of a good nanny job.