Question for the MB

[Anonymous]

When would prefer your nanny to tell you they are pregnant? Would you be upset if they waited till after 20 weeks?

[Anonymous]

20 weeks seems late and unrealistic. Unless you're quite heavy, or something is off, you are likely to be showing well before 20 weeks.

I would have no problem with you waiting until at least the second trimester.

Obviously, a lot depends on your health, your plans/wishes regarding continued employment, your relationship w/ your boss(es), their long-term plans and overall flexibility, the demands of your job, etc...

[Anonymous]

The sooner you tell, the sooner you'll get fired.

[Anonymous]

No. I'm happy to pretend I don't notice anything for as long as you like. 20 weeks is far more than sufficient notice if you are planning on taking unpaid time off or are leaving. The only reason I'd consider discussing sooner is as a show of good faith if you are hoping for a less conventional childcare situation. Extensive time off with a guaranteed job to return to, or ability to bring your baby to work.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford to get laid off shortly after you tell her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I'm happy to pretend I don't notice anything for as long as you like. 20 weeks is far more than sufficient notice if you are planning on taking unpaid time off or are leaving. The only reason I'd consider discussing sooner is as a show of good faith if you are hoping for a less conventional childcare situation. Extensive time off with a guaranteed job to return to, or ability to bring your baby to work.

+1. In fact, if you waited that long, I'd be reassured that you would be able to handle being pregnant and being a nanny.

I had a pregnant nanny who told me the day she found out, at about 4.5 weeks pregnant. From then on, she was out at least one full day a week, sometimes more, because she wasn't feeling well, had a ton of appointments, etc.. I've been pregnant (obviously), and I know her pregnancy was unusual, especially for a young, healthy woman. We finally had to drop to half time so I could get a more reliable person in for the rest of the time.

If she had been able to hide a pregnancy until 20 weeks, and hadn't involved me in determining whether she should/could work, how much she could/should do, when she should see a doctor, etc., I'd have been thrilled.

That said, I would hold the job for 16 weeks of unpaid maternity leave (you could use whatever PTO you have, of course), and I would not be open to you bringing your child to work. Other people might be able to offer more time or money or be more flexible. Before you tell, be sure you know what you want to ask for, and what your deal-breakers are.