MBs - would this trouble you or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

I recently fired our cleaning people. I got tired of them doing a mediocre job. I was also aware that they sometimes used cleaning products they brought, when we had agreed they would only use the ones I supplied (I have a DC with asthma and we was very clear when I hired them that they would use what I bought - I didn't want a bunch of unknown chemicals in the house), but I had let that go once or twice, just reminding them of the agreement.

The nanny and the cleaning people are from the same country, but did not know each other before they met at my house and from what I can tell are not particularly friendly (nanny seems to not be fond of them). Still, when I told the nanny that I let them go, she said "oh, last week I saw them using bleach and they begged me not to tell you." I think she is worried that the cleaning people will assume she ratted them out, which she didn't, but actually I am miffed she didn't. She works for me, and it isn't as if she recommended these people or is friends with them. Her loyalty should be with me and the health of my kids, right? Or am I overreacting to this? I am thinking of telling her that she violated my trust by not telling me and I hope she doesn't do it again. Am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

You're crazy. If you want a house manager, hire one. It's not her responsibility to get caught up in your dramas. If you are this anal about cleaning you should not have kept them around after the first TWO times you knew they used something of their own any way. So what difference does it make whether she put herself in the middle of it or not. If you want to oversee the cleaning of your home and make sure it's done to your liking, work from home that day. You shouldn't have kept them after THEY violated your trust. Leave your nanny alone and stop thinking she had some loyalty to strangers just because they speak the same language. She sounds drama free but you don't.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. It's not the nanny's job to spy on the cleaning people. The bleach used last week has already done whatever damage it will do. Move on.

[Anonymous]

What does them being from the "same country" have to do with anything op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does them being from the "same country" have to do with anything op?

If nanny had recommended cleaning lady to me, or if they had been friends or acquaintances before I came into the picture, I could see divided loyalties. If I recommended my friend for a job at my company and found out she cheated at the job, I'm not sure what I would do. Whereas if I caught someone I didn't have any pre existing ties to cheating at my employer, I would definitely tell my boss. So the comment about being from the same country was that I was trying to evaluate whether she had split loyalties somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently fired our cleaning people. I got tired of them doing a mediocre job. I was also aware that they sometimes used cleaning products they brought, when we had agreed they would only use the ones I supplied (I have a DC with asthma and we was very clear when I hired them that they would use what I bought - I didn't want a bunch of unknown chemicals in the house), but I had let that go once or twice, just reminding them of the agreement.

The nanny and the cleaning people are from the same country, but did not know each other before they met at my house and from what I can tell are not particularly friendly (nanny seems to not be fond of them). Still, when I told the nanny that I let them go, she said "oh, last week I saw them using bleach and they begged me not to tell you." I think she is worried that the cleaning people will assume she ratted them out, which she didn't, but actually I am miffed she didn't. She works for me, and it isn't as if she recommended these people or is friends with them. Her loyalty should be with me and the health of my kids, right? Or am I overreacting to this? I am thinking of telling her that she violated my trust by not telling me and I hope she doesn't do it again. Am I crazy?

Your nanny is very gossipe,she's need taking care her busy and not cross the people line.

[Anonymous]

I think you let this go, and when you hire a new service you make clear to your nanny that you would really appreciate her letting you know right away if they use anything other than the products you specify.

Also, make it extraordinarily clear to the people you hire of course.

I think your nanny was put in a difficult position, and perhaps is relieved that you handled the matter before she had to get more involved. Take the high road and just make it clear going forward that you're sure she takes the health of your child as seriously as you do so please be sure to let you know etc...

[Anonymous]

If anything her loyalty, as you call it, is to the lower income working class people just trying to make enough money to put food on the table and a roof over their heads like she is. You certainly have a right to be unhappy with the cleaners but perhaps you should ask them why they're using their products instead of yours. There might be a reason.

If you make a big production about this the only thing you'll achieve is making sure your nanny keeps her trap shut and tells you nothing in the future. Tread lightly. Don't be penny wise and pound foolish. Just let her know (nicely and w/o malice or fear of reprisals) that if the house cleaners use xyz to let you know.

Frankly I'm surprised the nanny was even home when the cleaners came. I always get the kids out of the house so they're not following the cleaners around, getting into the supplies and making messes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anything her loyalty, as you call it, is to the lower income working class people just trying to make enough money to put food on the table and a roof over their heads like she is. You certainly have a right to be unhappy with the cleaners but perhaps you should ask them why they're using their products instead of yours. There might be a reason.

If you make a big production about this the only thing you'll achieve is making sure your nanny keeps her trap shut and tells you nothing in the future. Tread lightly. Don't be penny wise and pound foolish. Just let her know (nicely and w/o malice or fear of reprisals) that if the house cleaners use xyz to let you know.

Frankly I'm surprised the nanny was even home when the cleaners came. I always get the kids out of the house so they're not following the cleaners around, getting into the supplies and making messes.

This is fair - thx. By the way, there is a reason they used their products. The highly chemical products work better because they essentially take the coating off glazed tile, rather than having to actually scrub away the dirt which is what you have to do with less corrosive products. This was factored in when I hired them - I recognized it would take longer for them to clean and the estimate was given accordingly. Over the years they started wanting to get out of the house quicker and quicker and took more and more shortcuts (ultimately to the point where I decided my house wasn't getting clean enough). I've hired a company that only uses organic products this time, so I figure they will know how to use them most effectively and price the extra labor into the bid.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. She's your NANNY, not your housekeeper or housemanager or cleaning lady sitter. So great her as such. It's non of her business what your cleaning ladies do, it's yours!
I loved when my MB was all phases at me when I ran to the pantry with 4 young children, instead of watching the cable guy who happened to walk upstairs behind my back. It was apparently my job to babysit him. Hell no, I had 4 young children storming the pantry for snacks, THAT was my job!!!
So as long as she's a wonderful nanny, praise her for the work. She might get resentful the first half inr you'll complain
To her. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. She's your NANNY, not your housekeeper or housemanager or cleaning lady sitter. So great her as such. It's non of her business what your cleaning ladies do, it's yours!
I loved when my MB was all phases at me when I ran to the pantry with 4 young children, instead of watching the cable guy who happened to walk upstairs behind my back. It was apparently my job to babysit him. Hell no, I had 4 young children storming the pantry for snacks, THAT was my job!!!
So as long as she's a wonderful nanny, praise her for the work. She might get resentful the first half inr you'll complain
To her. Good luck

The kids were in camp so she was alone but that is beside the point. I wasn't asking her to watch them at all - they did something she happened to see and they actually ASKED her not to tell me. That should have been the tip-off!

[Anonymous]

Personally your nanny did the right thing, by not "tattling" on the cleaners.

Doing so would be very unprofessional and she would have been overstepping over professional boundary.

If the cleaners stole your valuable diamond brooch that would be one thing. But not for using bleach.

That is between you + the cleaners.
Nanny is NOT part of the equation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally your nanny did the right thing, by not "tattling" on the cleaners.

Doing so would be very unprofessional and she would have been overstepping over professional boundary.

If the cleaners stole your valuable diamond brooch that would be one thing. But not for using bleach.

That is between you + the cleaners.
Nanny is NOT part of the equation.

You have got to be kidding. The nanny's responsibility is not to the cleaners--it is to her employer. I would be troubled too, OP.

[Anonymous]

Who knows, maybe she thought about telling you and then forgot about it. She did, after all, mention it later when the subject of the cleaners came up.

[Anonymous]

MB here - yes, total overreaction. Period.