Suggestions for finding prospective nanny share families?

[Anonymous]

We are trying to create a nanny share after our older child is going to school/day camps. I've had three families who've been interested and then after taking a lot of our time, decided for various personal reasons that the share was not right for them. Are people just lying about not liking the nanny (none has said that this was the reason they were not going to join us, and in one case a parent decided at last minute to do something else for childcare)? We've done nanny shares in our old city before living here, and we've never had this issue.

Any suggestions for finding a family to do a share besides obviously boards here and neighborhood listservs?
Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Look at the bright side.

At least they were responsible enough to back out BEFORE agreeing to a share.

It would be so much worse for them to agree to one, then decide to leave after a few weeks leaving your family + the nanny high & dry.

[Anonymous]

Keep trying...I've been there too with several false starts with nanny share families. Keep trying! We're now with an amazing family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are trying to create a nanny share after our older child is going to school/day camps. I've had three families who've been interested and then after taking a lot of our time, decided for various personal reasons that the share was not right for them. Are people just lying about not liking the nanny (none has said that this was the reason they were not going to join us, and in one case a parent decided at last minute to do something else for childcare)? We've done nanny shares in our old city before living here, and we've never had this issue.

Any suggestions for finding a family to do a share besides obviously boards here and neighborhood listservs?
Thanks!

If those are both turning up zero, I'd look at your strategy, as in, what are you asking for?

[Anonymous]

It could be you, your kid, your home if you are insisting the share be in your home, the price you are asking (i.e. day care is cheaper), the nanny, the times available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be you, your kid, your home if you are insisting the share be in your home, the price you are asking (i.e. day care is cheaper), the nanny, the times available.

This. What are you offering, OP, in terms of being an attractive option?

[Anonymous]

We are asking for the share to be in another family's home. The rate is $11/hr/kid. The hours are Mon-Thurs, which all families have been interested in, and the nanny is willing to also work Fridays (though that would be a single child rate). The post could not be more explicit. The point is, I posted and they replied. To then treat our time and payment for the nanny to do the interview as part of their 'exploratory' process is a bit inconsiderate. If they weren't sure, couldn't we have talked over the phone? Couldn't they have been more transparent about their uncertainty?
(I'm not this irritable in person, just frustrated by the time, cost, and flakiness).

We've done multiple shares (for our respective kids after we moved in state) in another state. This has never happened before.

Thanks for feedback! I realize it could also be timing, since we want to start in summer (we posted more than a month before looking to start share). But, still…

[Anonymous]

Since you are coming with the nanny selected, I would guess your issue is the fact that you do not want to host. I would feel odd having no say in the selection of nanny if they were going to be in MY home 4 days a week.
Other than that, have you tried looking within your child's school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are asking for the share to be in another family's home. The rate is $11/hr/kid. The hours are Mon-Thurs, which all families have been interested in, and the nanny is willing to also work Fridays (though that would be a single child rate). The post could not be more explicit. The point is, I posted and they replied. To then treat our time and payment for the nanny to do the interview as part of their 'exploratory' process is a bit inconsiderate. If they weren't sure, couldn't we have talked over the phone? Couldn't they have been more transparent about their uncertainty?
(I'm not this irritable in person, just frustrated by the time, cost, and flakiness).

We've done multiple shares (for our respective kids after we moved in state) in another state. This has never happened before.

Thanks for feedback! I realize it could also be timing, since we want to start in summer (we posted more than a month before looking to start share). But, still…

Honestly, I think its you. That is a high share rate and not everyone may be willing to pay/can afford it especially when you are not willing to pay for Friday. Most people need 5 days, not 4. You are expecting it to be in their home with your nanny. Obviously if you are interviewing with the nanny there is something you or she is doing or saying to make them uncomfortable and not willing. $11 an hour for 4 days, plus $22 an hour for one day, depending on the hours (if theirs don't match yours, they are stuck with their kid in their home or paying for extra time if it is their kid needing care). You should offer them a discounted rate if they are hosting the share in their home per your demand or pay them for use of their home. They have to pay for food, wear and tear and utilities plus provide a sleeping space for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since you are coming with the nanny selected, I would guess your issue is the fact that you do not want to host. I would feel odd having no say in the selection of nanny if they were going to be in MY home 4 days a week.
Other than that, have you tried looking within your child's school?

It would be a dealbreaker for me if I couldn't host! Who wants to do dropoff and pickup?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your perspectives. I can see how coming with a pre-selected nanny with a number of other restrictive criteria could be exacerbating the challenges. We wish we could host, but it's just not practical given my work and our current (temporary but for the next year at least) apartment. Hosting would be a privilege, if we could do it, in many ways, since as others pointed out, pick up and drop off are tedious, especially with two children in different locations.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the issue is the rate -- nanny share rates are at least $22 p/hour for a good nanny, and more like $23/24 if you want someone with a lot of good experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for your perspectives. I can see how coming with a pre-selected nanny with a number of other restrictive criteria could be exacerbating the challenges. We wish we could host, but it's just not practical given my work and our current (temporary but for the next year at least) apartment. Hosting would be a privilege, if we could do it, in many ways, since as others pointed out, pick up and drop off are tedious, especially with two children in different locations.

If you truly can't host, you need to find a family that will and TOGETHER find a share nanny. I just can't imagine anyone being ok with the arrangement you are proposing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the issue is the rate -- nanny share rates are at least $22 p/hour for a good nanny, and more like $23/24 if you want someone with a lot of good experience.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If you truly can't host, you need to find a family that will and TOGETHER find a share nanny. I just can't imagine anyone being ok with the arrangement you are proposing.

Could you clarify why this is not ok? Generalizing is a bit unhelpful. Thanks!