Should I mention a very old arrest?

[Anonymous]

I am in the end stages of being hired by a family with a three year old son. Everything looks great and I'm excited to be working with them, but I know they will perform a background check on me. When I was 16 (I'm 25 now), I was arrested for shoplifting. I stole a tube of lipstick from the drugstore with my best friend, it was a stupid mistake, one I never made again. I was arrested and booked into the county jail but I was never convicted of the crime, they dropped it after I did community service, but I have no idea if it's still on my record. Past employers have never mentioned it and I'm sure they've background checked me. However, I can't get an account on care.com because it shows up on the background check they do.

My question is, should I even mention it to the family I'm gonna be working for? I have a feeling that if it comes up on the background check, they won't hire me. I cant afford to miss out on this job. But I don't want to mention it if there's a probability they won't even see it. I was young and stupid back then, and the arrest does not at all represent the person I am today. Should I mention it or just not say anything?

[Anonymous]

If the charges were dropped, it won't come up. I wouldn't mention it.

[Anonymous]

Run your own background check. For $100 or less, you'll see what comes up, and you will never have to worry about this again.

FWIW, if you told about this, and it did not come up, I would think you were a little over anxious and worried. It's literally nothing. Now, if it did come up, and you hadn't mentioned it, I would be worried you were lying about how minor it was.

That's why I say run your own check and see what you're dealing with.

[Anonymous]

16, isn't that a youth offender charge? Why would that show up?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have done background checks on myself and it doesn't show up, but it obviously shows up on care.com background check, because they won't let me have an account due to it. I was 16 when arrested, but the process was very long and by the time I had gone to court multiple times, done my community service, etc. I was 18. I don't know what kind of background check the dad will be performing, or what kind of info it could bring up.

[Anonymous]

Deep breaths OP. Everything is going to be justi fine.
Are you 100% certain that the reason you can't have a Care.com account is because of that charge?
Most criminal offences (especially non-violent) commited by minors are wiped from their record once they turn 18.
You need to go to a reputable website and have a full, national criminal background check performed.
I'll bet it's not on there. Try not to be too anxious. Things like this happen and there is always a way to fix it.

[Anonymous]

I would just mention it to them when you give them your SS number for the background check. Tell them what you said in your OP, that it was a one time mistake that you greatly regret and you learned from it. It's not like it's a violent crime, and if they do see it as an issue you probably don't want to work for them anyway.

[Anonymous]

Personally I wouldn't mention it - a background check is only supposed to show convictions.

If it DOES come up and they ask, tell them what it was, and that you are surprised since you were never prosecuted and convicted that it even showed up.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny that was arrested in '04 for DV after an ugly argument w/an ex-boyfriend, I have often wondered about this myself.

I was arrested, taken to county jail where I was held the required 72hrs.
I could have bailed out, but at the time didn't have any savings.

Never saw a judge or had charges filed against me.
I think the time in jail was for me to cool off & learn a valuable life lesson.

I'm not sure if it is even on my record as I have had multiple BG checks done for daycare, nanny + even child entertaining jobs. I always passed 100%.

Yes, I even passed Care.com and Sittercity.com checks as well as one for a nanny agency five years ago.

My advice is mums the word.
Unless you are SPECIFICALLY asked directly by the parents if you have ever been arrested, I wouldn't bring it up on my own.

I think BG checks do not show arrests since an arrest is typically an individual officers personal opinion that you committed a crime. It is not a collective opinion of the entire force.

Only convictions are typically listed, most often felonies.

[Anonymous]

I would try to get this arrest officially expunged. If it was so long ago and you haven't been arrested again there's a good chance you can. Won't help for this job but worth looking into.

[Anonymous]

I would try to get it expunged. That said, I'm an MB and I would not hold a shoplifting charge from when you are 16 against you.

In high school, everyone I knew (including myself) did something stupid that we easily could have gotten arrested for. 1 shoplifting charge certainly wouldn't make me question your integrity

[Anonymous]

Was it really a tube of lipstick? One time and never ever again? But you say it took almost 2 years in the legal system of you not getting convicted and trying to get you to do community service for it? Basically, I wouldn't be able to trust you fully and would take the next best person.

I know it could be unfair, since there will be tons of shoplifters who never got caught. I know there could be people like you who had a moment's lapse in judgment and never did it again. The thing is, I don't want to take the risk of someone having a bad judgment moment again when it comes to childcare.

Also, there are background checks where they check superficially just the basics. There are others that go in depth. Care.com probably used a service that goes more in depth.

Parents are not in the business of buying background checks so they don't know much. In your case, chances are the parents of only 1 child age 3 might not know there are different levels of background checks and if they buy a cheap one with just the basics, they won't find out.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I would just tell. Given that you were in and out of court for it, did community service, etc., it kind of sounds like it was not just an arrest, but some sort of final judgment against you, even if the sentence was just to do community service.

Here's the thing, I would probably still hire you. I would want enough information to confirm the charge was actually just for petty theft or shoplifting. Then I would run a deep background check, and as long as nothing else showed up and you were great in other areas, I would still hire you.

People do stupid stuff in high school - like shoplift. If anything I would think you were less likely to do something like that in the future because you had learned your lesson.

But if you didn't tell me, I would be really disturbed to find out about it and I would probably assume you were lying if you told me it was for shoplifting lipstick.

[Anonymous]

Shoplifting a low value item is a misdemeanor and as a minor when the crime occurred (age at conviction etc, doesn't matter) it should be very easy to get those old records permanently sealed, especially if you have stayed out of trouble since. You should talk to a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't hire a nanny who was caught shoplifting and, no, not everyone has done something illegal.