How do we keep our nanny happy?

[Anonymous]

We have a part time nanny that we would love to keep on as long as possible. She's the best person we have found in years of childcare. Dear lovely nannies out there, what can we do to keep her happy other than pay her well? What should we NEVER do? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Talk to your nanny. Tell her what you love about how she works with you. Ask her what you can do to make it easier/better for her, and do it if it's cost-effective and not time-intensive. Ask her what her three biggest pet peeves are about nannying, and make sure that your don't do them.

Make sure that she knows that you appreciate her. Treat her as a professional and don't micromanage. Other than that, you're wonderful. Kudos, OP!

[Anonymous]

Lots of bonuses, raises, and time off.

I'm a MB, and for reals. On every nanny board I've been on, the women go on and on about how much they love the families who "respect them as professionals" by giving them raises, letting them go early, offering extra money, etc.. In the nanny world, "respect" and "appreciation" can be bought, and the nannies prefer it to gifts.

Also, they do like to hear how much you value them, but they also want to feel that appreciation in some tangible, preferably cash or time off, form.

[Anonymous]

Remember her birthday. Let her go if you're home early and can be around. Always pay her for overtime and when you're away. Text if you're late. Yearly raise, bonus plus time off for Christmas. Don't micromanage. Let her ask questions. Talk to her like you would want to be spoken to. Keep her favorite snack in the house. Give her your WiFi PW for nap time.

[Anonymous]

Everyone always gives the same advice, that nannies are only in it for the money and that you have to give them absurd raises and bonuses to keep them happy. Yes, nannies work for money like everyone else, but we also usually love our work, love kids, love the flexibility, etc. I will give you some true advice that doesn't involve draining your life savings to overpay your nanny.

1) You don't need to give them free money or quarterly bonuses, but don't pinch pennies. Set a weekly rate and stick to it, whether you use all the hours or not. If you leave come home early on Wednesday and leave for vacation, pay her the full weekly rate.

2) Be on time. Consistency is key. When I know you are ontime 99% of the time I can plan other parts of my life around work. When you are always "running late", even if you pay me for my time, I can't make plans with friends or be reliable for other jobs/gigs. If you are going to be late, let me know ASAP, not 5 minutes before you are supposed to show up. If you have a 30 minute drive home and you usually leave at 5:30 and you realize your not getting out of the office then take the time to text me right then and say your going to be late, not at 6 saying "Sorry I haven't left the office yet."

3) Treat them like a 3rd parents. Be organized with a calendar for the kids things, add them to it. CC them on emails. It's annoying to plan things or set up playdates only to get a "Sally has a doctors appointment today at 10" when I arrive in the morning. Plan all this stuff with your nanny, not around him/her.

4) When you are planning to not need the nanny let him/her know as soon as possible so they can take advantage of that time. AND DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT DAYS OFF! While its nice to get a day off it's annoying to find out about it the day before.

5) Treat them like a friend instead of an employee. Ask how their day was, invite them to things sometimes, offer to take them and the family out to dinner once a year on a whim, etc. Just act like you care about them and that they are more than just your childs nanny.


I would take a family that does these 5 things over a family that gives yearly $1 pay raises any day.

[Anonymous]

don't micromanage

leave petty cash vs reimbursing (and make sure she knows how much she can spend on activities or treats in a week or month)

If you come home early, let her go and don't dock her pay

Don't ask her how much you owe her on payday. Figure it out and have her pay ready to go.

don't make her censor every syllable that comes out of her mouth...if she said your kid was a toad, or clingy or whatever, she doesn't mean it as an insult, she's just letting you know it was a rough day.

If you need her to stay late, beyond dinner, order a pizza (or whatever). Don't leave her scrambling to find something in your fridge or pack a lunch and dinner.

[Anonymous]

19.29 here.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone always gives the same advice, that nannies are only in it for the money and that you have to give them absurd raises and bonuses to keep them happy. Yes, nannies work for money like everyone else, but we also usually love our work, love kids, love the flexibility, etc. I will give you some true advice that doesn't involve draining your life savings to overpay your nanny.

1) You don't need to give them free money or quarterly bonuses, but don't pinch pennies. Set a weekly rate and stick to it, whether you use all the hours or not. If you leave come home early on Wednesday and leave for vacation, pay her the full weekly rate.

Quite agreed. Guaranteed hours are so that the nanny can plan out bills and savings.

2) Be on time. Consistency is key. When I know you are ontime 99% of the time I can plan other parts of my life around work. When you are always "running late", even if you pay me for my time, I can't make plans with friends or be reliable for other jobs/gigs. If you are going to be late, let me know ASAP, not 5 minutes before you are supposed to show up. If you have a 30 minute drive home and you usually leave at 5:30 and you realize your not getting out of the office then take the time to text me right then and say your going to be late, not at 6 saying "Sorry I haven't left the office yet."

I actually disagree with this. Talk to your nanny. I would rather have overtime, so I'm happy to work late, BUT I do expect a call or text if you're going to be 30+ minutes late.

3) Treat them like a 3rd parents. Be organized with a calendar for the kids things, add them to it. CC them on emails. It's annoying to plan things or set up playdates only to get a "Sally has a doctors appointment today at 10" when I arrive in the morning. Plan all this stuff with your nanny, not around him/her.

It depends on the nanny's level of responsibility. If she's heavily involved in the kids' scheduling, absolutely. If the parent is going to pick up kids for doctor's appointments, tell her the day prior. Some parents want the nanny to be like another parent, others want the nanny to just be childcare, and either is acceptable.

4) When you are planning to not need the nanny let him/her know as soon as possible so they can take advantage of that time. AND DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT DAYS OFF! While its nice to get a day off it's annoying to find out about it the day before.

Agreed. It's worse when the nanny was told a month ahead of time that she would have the week off, and then has to cancel plans the day before due to the parent's schedule change.

5) Treat them like a friend instead of an employee. Ask how their day was, invite them to things sometimes, offer to take them and the family out to dinner once a year on a whim, etc. Just act like you care about them and that they are more than just your childs nanny.

This works for some nannies, but not for others. I'm a live-in nanny, and boundaries are very, very fluid, so I try to keep anything personal out of conversations with my employer. For some parents and nannies, it's okay that it's a nanny-employer relationship, and the parent doesn't view the nanny as JUST the nanny (no condescension because they are just the help).

I would take a family that does these 5 things over a family that gives yearly $1 pay raises any day.

It's different for every nanny, so talk to your nanny and find out what she wants and needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19.29 here.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone always gives the same advice, that nannies are only in it for the money and that you have to give them absurd raises and bonuses to keep them happy. Yes, nannies work for money like everyone else, but we also usually love our work, love kids, love the flexibility, etc. I will give you some true advice that doesn't involve draining your life savings to overpay your nanny.

1) You don't need to give them free money or quarterly bonuses, but don't pinch pennies. Set a weekly rate and stick to it, whether you use all the hours or not. If you leave come home early on Wednesday and leave for vacation, pay her the full weekly rate.

Quite agreed. Guaranteed hours are so that the nanny can plan out bills and savings.

2) Be on time. Consistency is key. When I know you are ontime 99% of the time I can plan other parts of my life around work. When you are always "running late", even if you pay me for my time, I can't make plans with friends or be reliable for other jobs/gigs. If you are going to be late, let me know ASAP, not 5 minutes before you are supposed to show up. If you have a 30 minute drive home and you usually leave at 5:30 and you realize your not getting out of the office then take the time to text me right then and say your going to be late, not at 6 saying "Sorry I haven't left the office yet."

I actually disagree with this. Talk to your nanny. I would rather have overtime, so I'm happy to work late, BUT I do expect a call or text if you're going to be 30+ minutes late.

3) Treat them like a 3rd parents. Be organized with a calendar for the kids things, add them to it. CC them on emails. It's annoying to plan things or set up playdates only to get a "Sally has a doctors appointment today at 10" when I arrive in the morning. Plan all this stuff with your nanny, not around him/her.

It depends on the nanny's level of responsibility. If she's heavily involved in the kids' scheduling, absolutely. If the parent is going to pick up kids for doctor's appointments, tell her the day prior. Some parents want the nanny to be like another parent, others want the nanny to just be childcare, and either is acceptable.

4) When you are planning to not need the nanny let him/her know as soon as possible so they can take advantage of that time. AND DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT DAYS OFF! While its nice to get a day off it's annoying to find out about it the day before.

Agreed. It's worse when the nanny was told a month ahead of time that she would have the week off, and then has to cancel plans the day before due to the parent's schedule change.

5) Treat them like a friend instead of an employee. Ask how their day was, invite them to things sometimes, offer to take them and the family out to dinner once a year on a whim, etc. Just act like you care about them and that they are more than just your childs nanny.

This works for some nannies, but not for others. I'm a live-in nanny, and boundaries are very, very fluid, so I try to keep anything personal out of conversations with my employer. For some parents and nannies, it's okay that it's a nanny-employer relationship, and the parent doesn't view the nanny as JUST the nanny (no condescension because they are just the help).

I would take a family that does these 5 things over a family that gives yearly $1 pay raises any day.

It's different for every nanny, so talk to your nanny and find out what she wants and needs.

I disagree with most of what you're saying. What PP (21:24) laid out is likely to keep a majority of professional nannies happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a part time nanny that we would love to keep on as long as possible. She's the best person we have found in years of childcare. Dear lovely nannies out there, what can we do to keep her happy other than pay her well? What should we NEVER do? Thanks!

What does your employer do to keep you happy?

[Anonymous]

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

[Anonymous]

You couldn't pay me a million dollars a year to disrespect me. That's why I love the family I work for now (and have for several years). They really treat me like family (and all that goes with that instead of just mouthing the words. It would take something really egregious for me to try to leave my precious charges and I'm sure it wouldn't have anything to do with money.

[Anonymous]

I like compliments.

I know it is insecure and shallow of me, but I really really like to hear that I am appreciated, that I do good work, etc. etc.

Treat me with respect. Treat your children with respect.

Let me put the thermostat at whatever temp I want.

If your house is so messy that I can't effectively do my job, I will quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:19.29 here.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone always gives the same advice, that nannies are only in it for the money and that you have to give them absurd raises and bonuses to keep them happy. Yes, nannies work for money like everyone else, but we also usually love our work, love kids, love the flexibility, etc. I will give you some true advice that doesn't involve draining your life savings to overpay your nanny.

1) You don't need to give them free money or quarterly bonuses, but don't pinch pennies. Set a weekly rate and stick to it, whether you use all the hours or not. If you leave come home early on Wednesday and leave for vacation, pay her the full weekly rate.

Quite agreed. Guaranteed hours are so that the nanny can plan out bills and savings.

2) Be on time. Consistency is key. When I know you are ontime 99% of the time I can plan other parts of my life around work. When you are always "running late", even if you pay me for my time, I can't make plans with friends or be reliable for other jobs/gigs. If you are going to be late, let me know ASAP, not 5 minutes before you are supposed to show up. If you have a 30 minute drive home and you usually leave at 5:30 and you realize your not getting out of the office then take the time to text me right then and say your going to be late, not at 6 saying "Sorry I haven't left the office yet."

I actually disagree with this. Talk to your nanny. I would rather have overtime, so I'm happy to work late, BUT I do expect a call or text if you're going to be 30+ minutes late.

3) Treat them like a 3rd parents. Be organized with a calendar for the kids things, add them to it. CC them on emails. It's annoying to plan things or set up playdates only to get a "Sally has a doctors appointment today at 10" when I arrive in the morning. Plan all this stuff with your nanny, not around him/her.

It depends on the nanny's level of responsibility. If she's heavily involved in the kids' scheduling, absolutely. If the parent is going to pick up kids for doctor's appointments, tell her the day prior. Some parents want the nanny to be like another parent, others want the nanny to just be childcare, and either is acceptable.

4) When you are planning to not need the nanny let him/her know as soon as possible so they can take advantage of that time. AND DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT DAYS OFF! While its nice to get a day off it's annoying to find out about it the day before.

Agreed. It's worse when the nanny was told a month ahead of time that she would have the week off, and then has to cancel plans the day before due to the parent's schedule change.

5) Treat them like a friend instead of an employee. Ask how their day was, invite them to things sometimes, offer to take them and the family out to dinner once a year on a whim, etc. Just act like you care about them and that they are more than just your childs nanny.

This works for some nannies, but not for others. I'm a live-in nanny, and boundaries are very, very fluid, so I try to keep anything personal out of conversations with my employer. For some parents and nannies, it's okay that it's a nanny-employer relationship, and the parent doesn't view the nanny as JUST the nanny (no condescension because they are just the help).

I would take a family that does these 5 things over a family that gives yearly $1 pay raises any day.

It's different for every nanny, so talk to your nanny and find out what she wants and needs.

I disagree with most of what you're saying. What PP (21:24) laid out is likely to keep a majority of professional nannies happy.

Agree, I don't know any professional, well paid nannies that like parents coming home late just so they can collect half an hour of overtime. OP I suggest you follow 21:24s advice.

[Anonymous]

This is all great advice. I don't even know my nannys birthday. Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:19.29 here.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone always gives the same advice, that nannies are only in it for the money and that you have to give them absurd raises and bonuses to keep them happy. Yes, nannies work for money like everyone else, but we also usually love our work, love kids, love the flexibility, etc. I will give you some true advice that doesn't involve draining your life savings to overpay your nanny.

1) You don't need to give them free money or quarterly bonuses, but don't pinch pennies. Set a weekly rate and stick to it, whether you use all the hours or not. If you leave come home early on Wednesday and leave for vacation, pay her the full weekly rate.

Quite agreed. Guaranteed hours are so that the nanny can plan out bills and savings.

2) Be on time. Consistency is key. When I know you are ontime 99% of the time I can plan other parts of my life around work. When you are always "running late", even if you pay me for my time, I can't make plans with friends or be reliable for other jobs/gigs. If you are going to be late, let me know ASAP, not 5 minutes before you are supposed to show up. If you have a 30 minute drive home and you usually leave at 5:30 and you realize your not getting out of the office then take the time to text me right then and say your going to be late, not at 6 saying "Sorry I haven't left the office yet."

I actually disagree with this. Talk to your nanny. I would rather have overtime, so I'm happy to work late, BUT I do expect a call or text if you're going to be 30+ minutes late.

3) Treat them like a 3rd parents. Be organized with a calendar for the kids things, add them to it. CC them on emails. It's annoying to plan things or set up playdates only to get a "Sally has a doctors appointment today at 10" when I arrive in the morning. Plan all this stuff with your nanny, not around him/her.

It depends on the nanny's level of responsibility. If she's heavily involved in the kids' scheduling, absolutely. If the parent is going to pick up kids for doctor's appointments, tell her the day prior. Some parents want the nanny to be like another parent, others want the nanny to just be childcare, and either is acceptable.

4) When you are planning to not need the nanny let him/her know as soon as possible so they can take advantage of that time. AND DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT DAYS OFF! While its nice to get a day off it's annoying to find out about it the day before.

Agreed. It's worse when the nanny was told a month ahead of time that she would have the week off, and then has to cancel plans the day before due to the parent's schedule change.

5) Treat them like a friend instead of an employee. Ask how their day was, invite them to things sometimes, offer to take them and the family out to dinner once a year on a whim, etc. Just act like you care about them and that they are more than just your childs nanny.

This works for some nannies, but not for others. I'm a live-in nanny, and boundaries are very, very fluid, so I try to keep anything personal out of conversations with my employer. For some parents and nannies, it's okay that it's a nanny-employer relationship, and the parent doesn't view the nanny as JUST the nanny (no condescension because they are just the help).

I would take a family that does these 5 things over a family that gives yearly $1 pay raises any day.

It's different for every nanny, so talk to your nanny and find out what she wants and needs.

All nannies enjoy being treated like a friend. No one "enjoys" being spoken to like an employee if there is an option. You not need to pretend you are BFFs with MB, or share personal info, but being friendly and caring about someone can go a long way.