How do we keep our nanny happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is all great advice. I don't even know my nannys birthday. Thank you!!

Yes you do, if you're paying legally. It's on all of her hiring documents.

So, here's another one: pay legally, and enough to still make it a decent take-home amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is all great advice. I don't even know my nannys birthday. Thank you!!

Yes you do, if you're paying legally. It's on all of her hiring documents.

So, here's another one: pay legally, and enough to still make it a decent take-home amount.

A good employer keep those forms for the government but doesn't read them to gather nannies DOB and SS#. She your employ, not pet, stop creeping.

[Anonymous]

No.#1 always ALWAYS make her feel 100% respected.
There is nothing worse than for a nanny to feel like the hired help, trust me.

Make her feel comfortable in your home. Perhaps letting her know that she is welcome to help herself to any food she would like in the kitchen. Even offering her a fresh cup of coffee every morning is thoughtful.

When your child is napping, give her permission to watch anything she wants on T.V. & offer her your WiFi code too.

Give her a generous bonus for Christmas and a nice present for her birthday.

Most importantly: Never forget to thank her everyday as she walks out the door. Every nanny likes knowing they are appreciated + valued for what they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone always gives the same advice, that nannies are only in it for the money and that you have to give them absurd raises and bonuses to keep them happy. Yes, nannies work for money like everyone else, but we also usually love our work, love kids, love the flexibility, etc. I will give you some true advice that doesn't involve draining your life savings to overpay your nanny.

1) You don't need to give them free money or quarterly bonuses, but don't pinch pennies. Set a weekly rate and stick to it, whether you use all the hours or not. If you leave come home early on Wednesday and leave for vacation, pay her the full weekly rate.

2) Be on time. Consistency is key. When I know you are ontime 99% of the time I can plan other parts of my life around work. When you are always "running late", even if you pay me for my time, I can't make plans with friends or be reliable for other jobs/gigs. If you are going to be late, let me know ASAP, not 5 minutes before you are supposed to show up. If you have a 30 minute drive home and you usually leave at 5:30 and you realize your not getting out of the office then take the time to text me right then and say your going to be late, not at 6 saying "Sorry I haven't left the office yet."

3) Treat them like a 3rd parents. Be organized with a calendar for the kids things, add them to it. CC them on emails. It's annoying to plan things or set up playdates only to get a "Sally has a doctors appointment today at 10" when I arrive in the morning. Plan all this stuff with your nanny, not around him/her.

4) When you are planning to not need the nanny let him/her know as soon as possible so they can take advantage of that time. AND DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT DAYS OFF! While its nice to get a day off it's annoying to find out about it the day before.

5) Treat them like a friend instead of an employee. Ask how their day was, invite them to things sometimes, offer to take them and the family out to dinner once a year on a whim, etc. Just act like you care about them and that they are more than just your childs nanny.


I would take a family that does these 5 things over a family that gives yearly $1 pay raises any day.

MB here, and while I agree with this, I also want to point out not to do anything that is difficult or uncomfortable for you in order to make things easier for your nanny. It will cause resentment on your part, and it won't lead to a good relationship.
I am not the kind of person who is going to send my nanny emails about when to expect doctors appointments. I could, but it would really be a monumental effort on my part because it is so outside my personality. However, it is very easy for me to treat my nanny like a friend, ask her about her day, etc. You may be different. So, if I promised to do this, kept up with it for a little while, then stopped, and my nanny got (justifiably) annoyed or started asking for these emails again, I would feel annoyed, stressed, and like she is placing huge demands on me. This could end in a strained relationship.
Other limits may be housework or certain activities or payment. If you want your kids to go to the library once a week, and you act like you don't care if your nanny takes them or you do...but the reality is that it is a huge strain on your weekend to spend the morning at the library, you may feel like you are being a really nice employer. But the reality is that it is causing a strain on your relationship with your nanny, she thinks everything is going fine, and you feel like she is underperforming.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny, and I am so happy with the family I work for now. I have been with them for over 3 years, and I would basically do anything if they asked. They make me happy in countless ways, ,here are a few.

They respect me, and encourage their kids to as well. In return I make sure to do the same for them.

I work 40-45 hours, very occasionally I work more. They always respect my time off, and even let me go early some days. If/when mom or dad have an extra day off, so do I. In return I spontaneously take the kids to the park a few Saturday/Sundays a year, for 2/3 hours while mom and dad get lunch/relax.(I don't charge them, but they always give me money for lunch)

They always pay me, no matter what(52 weeks a year), and give me 2 weeks paid vacation of my choice(I am full time tho) They also take a few vacations of their own, but I am always paid.

They give me a lot of autonomy to choose the activities for the kids, and let me structure our days any way I want(within reason, and always developmentally appropriate)

Overall it's a give and take, you should treat your nanny fantastically because she is the one caring for your children, and your home while you are away(not ness housekeeping)

[Anonymous]

Make your nanny feel respected and appreciated. Thank her and mention things she has done well or taught your children.

[Anonymous]

What a great thread. I always appreciated little note cards a particular much loved employer would leave me several times a month. She mentioned the fun things I did with her child and how lucky she was to have me. Of course I went above and beyond for this family. I stayed for all the years they needed me.

[Anonymous]

Money money and money. Nothing else is going to keep her committed to you.