Nannies- Would you apply to this job?

[Anonymous]

Summer Live-In Nanny (Martha's Vineyard Edgartown)
Let me just start out by saying.. if you are looking for a 9 - 5 nanny position, are a primadona, have issues with respecting others, text and drive, text on the beach, takes selfies 24*7, read no further.

I have two wonderful girls who can be singing and dancing together one moment and in a wrestling match the next. My girls are messy, busy, bouncing off the walls, but mostly funny and wonderful. I am looking for someone from mid-May through 1st week in September.

My girls are super busy, sometimes they actually need to be in two places at one time, I need someone who can read my mind, know which one is more important and make that call. The kids sail, swim, play tennis, hockey and dance, I need you to love every one of those activities.
I can be a tad difficult to work for. I'm loud, always multi-tasking, completely disorganized, I work from home, so you the pleasure of being in my presence all day long and, you get to pretend to like me.

If you cannot multi-task, communicate clearly (you won't offend me), don't bother replying.
If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, sand on the floor, wet suits in the car, skip to the next post, because these are deal breakers they put me over the edge.

I have all sorts of theories on how to stack my dishwasher, fold laundry and if you are judgmental about Ritalin for ADHD, or ice cream before dinner, again, deal break city.

This is a live-in situation if you do not have housing already. You do get a room and your own bathroom in our home. You will get the largest guest bedroom in the house. However, we do sometimes have family visit and I may need you to move to a smaller bedroom while they are here (at the most two weeks). If this upsets you, don't email me. We have central air, wifi, and cable, you will have your own tv and plenty of down-time.

If you can cook, all the better, otherwise, I will teach you all sorts of things about pasta. I need someone who can cook two different types of macaroni and cheese at exactly the same time and also be able to open a can of tuna and remember which pot it goes in.

I am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kids as if they are their own. I am looking for someone who will keep my children happy (though no child is ever always happy), keep them safe, get them to their summer activities, play with them on the beach. Playing on the beach means actually playing with them, not posting selfies and updating Instagram while a shark is about to chew off their leg or my 9 year old is ingesting sand. I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library books are due, whether we are running low on milk and dear lord, where is that second sneaker??

I do expect that when the children are at camp or an activity that you will want to go get coffee or sit on the beach, that's fine. However, if there is a 3 hour gap, I need help, offer to throw a load of laundry in, put those dishes in the dishwasher, clean up those beach towels that have been sitting for three days.

One a serious note:
-I need you to have a valid clean driver's license and record
- I need you to be able to swim, CPR certified is a big plus
- My hours vary so does your schedule, a typical day is 8 (8:30) -- 3:30 (4). Occasionally, I will need you to sit an evening or two. This will be communicated and scheduled at least 3 days in advance
- You may take a secondary job working evenings, if this interests you, I can help you find a job
- You will have access to a personal vehicle while caring for the girls. For after hour activities, you need your own car.
- You will need to provide 3 credible references
- You like children
- We have a dog that we adore, we will hope that you adore her too!

Please know, I am relatively easy going, however, I will not be walked over by someone who is coming here for a summer vacation. If you go out with your friends until 1 a.m., have at it. But you better be ready and up in the morning and look like you are ready to run a marathon. What you do on your own time is your business but don't let it affect mine.

[Anonymous]

How would you be able to have a second job in the evenings when she expects you to be available for evenings with only 3 days notice? Sounds like a nightmare all in all.

[Anonymous]

Job from HELL... On steroids! Even for $100/hr.

[Anonymous]

Is this position on an agency job board?

I agree with the two above, sounds far too controlling and worse mom is there with you all day, my answer no money in the world would be enough.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure it is possible to learn to read a bosses mind quickly enough to satisfy this employer. She sounds demanding, hyper-critical, and I think her expectations are over the top.

She could be handled by an experienced Nanny with a spine made of iron, but I bet the first time Nanny chose to "communicate clearly" Nanny would be fired.

This ad also begs the question, "Do you employ a school year Nanny, and if so why is she not working summers for you?"

[Anonymous]

Either she's had several really bad experiences or she's a nightmare. Either way, never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Summer Live-In Nanny (Martha's Vineyard Edgartown)
Let me just start out by saying.. if you are looking for a 9 - 5 nanny position, are a primadona, have issues with respecting others, text and drive, text on the beach, takes selfies 24*7, read no further.

I have two wonderful girls who can be singing and dancing together one moment and in a wrestling match the next. My girls are messy, busy, bouncing off the walls, but mostly funny and wonderful. I am looking for someone from mid-May through 1st week in September.

My girls are super busy, sometimes they actually need to be in two places at one time, I need someone who can read my mind, know which one is more important and make that call. The kids sail, swim, play tennis, hockey and dance, I need you to love every one of those activities.
I can be a tad difficult to work for. I'm loud, always multi-tasking, completely disorganized, I work from home, so you the pleasure of being in my presence all day long and, you get to pretend to like me.

If you cannot multi-task, communicate clearly (you won't offend me), don't bother replying.
If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, sand on the floor, wet suits in the car, skip to the next post, because these are deal breakers they put me over the edge.

I have all sorts of theories on how to stack my dishwasher, fold laundry and if you are judgmental about Ritalin for ADHD, or ice cream before dinner, again, deal break city.

This is a live-in situation if you do not have housing already. You do get a room and your own bathroom in our home. You will get the largest guest bedroom in the house. However, we do sometimes have family visit and I may need you to move to a smaller bedroom while they are here (at the most two weeks). If this upsets you, don't email me. We have central air, wifi, and cable, you will have your own tv and plenty of down-time.

If you can cook, all the better, otherwise, I will teach you all sorts of things about pasta. I need someone who can cook two different types of macaroni and cheese at exactly the same time and also be able to open a can of tuna and remember which pot it goes in.

I am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kids as if they are their own. I am looking for someone who will keep my children happy (though no child is ever always happy), keep them safe, get them to their summer activities, play with them on the beach. Playing on the beach means actually playing with them, not posting selfies and updating Instagram while a shark is about to chew off their leg or my 9 year old is ingesting sand. I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library books are due, whether we are running low on milk and dear lord, where is that second sneaker??

I do expect that when the children are at camp or an activity that you will want to go get coffee or sit on the beach, that's fine. However, if there is a 3 hour gap, I need help, offer to throw a load of laundry in, put those dishes in the dishwasher, clean up those beach towels that have been sitting for three days.

One a serious note:
-I need you to have a valid clean driver's license and record
- I need you to be able to swim, CPR certified is a big plus
- My hours vary so does your schedule, a typical day is 8 (8:30) -- 3:30 (4). Occasionally, I will need you to sit an evening or two. This will be communicated and scheduled at least 3 days in advance
- You may take a secondary job working evenings, if this interests you, I can help you find a job
- You will have access to a personal vehicle while caring for the girls. For after hour activities, you need your own car.
- You will need to provide 3 credible references
- You like children
- We have a dog that we adore, we will hope that you adore her too!

Please know, I am relatively easy going, however, I will not be walked over by someone who is coming here for a summer vacation. If you go out with your friends until 1 a.m., have at it. But you better be ready and up in the morning and look like you are ready to run a marathon. What you do on your own time is your business but don't let it affect mine.

Way too stupid to be real. Please try harder.

[Anonymous]

This one is another nightmare.

compensation: $9/hr
employment type: employee's choice

This is a nanny/babysitter and general housekeeping position. You will be responsible for babysitting four toddlers (2-5 year olds and 2-4 year olds) and the general upkeep of the house.

Duties include but are not limited to:

- Supervising the children
- Ensuring the children's safety
- Dropping off and picking up children from pre-school and Kindergarden
- Dressing the children
- Bathing the children
- Playing with children
- Teaching the children general basic things like abc's
- Helping Children with their homework
- Reading to the children
- organizing educational activities
- Taking the kids to the park
- Preparing the children for their mother to pick them up on her visitation days.
- Picking up after the children and teaching them how to pick up after themselves.
- Instilling good morals, values and ethics in the children.
- Disciplining the children (usually quiet time in the corner)
- Dropping off and picking up the children to and from extra curricular activities (T-Ball, Gymnastics, Karate, Ballet Class and etc.).
- Caring for the children when they are sick
- Administering medicine to the children (if needed)
- Cook for the children
- Run errands
- Doing household laundry
- Household chores: sweeping, light mopping, cleaning dishes, wiping the table, dusting etc.
- Filling the humidifiers with water twice a day
- Take out the trash bags daily
- Take out the trash cans once a week
- Make a weekly grocery list


Qualified candidates have the following skills:

- Drivers license with clean driving record
- Experience with children
- Love of children
- General first aid knowledge
- Honest, Trustworthy and Reliable
- Not addicted to any drugs
- Speak English
- Ability to perform physical activities
- Motivated self starter
- Clean Criminal Record
- Compassionate, Loving and Caring


There are basically two shifts available. Late Mornings/early afternoons and evenings.

The first shift would be from 9 or 10am until around 12:45pm. You would feed the children breakfast and get them ready for school. Then you will use the provided mini-van to drive the children to school. Then just return the van to the home and your shift is over. This shift is necessary Monday through Friday.

The second shift will arrive at the house at 2:00pm and get the mini-van. Then pick up the children from their school and bring them home. Deliver the children to any after school activities (non at this time). I am usually home by 9pm but occasionally I may be running early or late. Sitter should be available until 10 or 11pm if needed. This shift is necessary Monday, Wednesday and Friday. (their mom picks them up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays and keeps them until I get home.

There is a Saturday Shift available as well. This shift is from 9 or 10am until 9 or 10pm. It can be worked all day by one sitter or split into two shifts if there are two sitters willing to share it.

Sundays are optional. Their mom gets them every other Sunday so this shift would only be necessary every other Sunday.

You can choose between the first shift, second shift and/or Saturday shift. I don't care just as long as all shifts are covered.

Qualified and interested individuals should email me with the following information:

- Resume and work/experience history
- Name, Phone and contact info
- Recent Photograph if possible

Qualified individuals will be called in for an interview. Interviews can take place late in the evening or on Sunday at the Oak Lawn home. I may also be able to interview you in the afternoons at my downtown office if that is more convenient for you. If you are hired, you may start as soon as you can.

Good Luck,

Mike

**I have a spare bedroom and I would consider a live in nanny position for the right person. When I get home, the babysitter leaves and I cannot even leave the house to run an errand because I cannot leave the children alone in the house. Just having someone else there will be a big relief. You will be helping me as much as I am helping you. In this case your compensation will be room and board plus a weekly salary. We will come to an agreement on the hours you work and the days and times you want off. This will determine your salary. Right now their mom gets them on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2-8:30 Saturdays from 6-8:30 and every other sunday from 10-8:30 so those are times when your services will not be necessary. If you require another day off or some other time, just let me know and we will work it out. Also, in the next couple months their mom and I will be coming to an agreement which allows them several days overnight at their moms per week, so the workload will be much less then. Qualified individual will be given one nice size bedroom with new queen size bed, a closet, a dresser and a nightstand. Access to a bathroom (shared with the kids), Access to a refrigerator and kitchen (shared with the family). When you cook for the children you may cook enough for yourself as well so food is also provided as long as it is something that the children eat on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This one is another nightmare.

compensation: $9/hr
employment type: employee's choice

This is a nanny/babysitter and general housekeeping position. You will be responsible for babysitting four toddlers (2-5 year olds and 2-4 year olds) and the general upkeep of the house.

Duties include but are not limited to:

- Supervising the children
- Ensuring the children's safety
- Dropping off and picking up children from pre-school and Kindergarden
- Dressing the children
- Bathing the children
- Playing with children
- Teaching the children general basic things like abc's
- Helping Children with their homework
- Reading to the children
- organizing educational activities
- Taking the kids to the park
- Preparing the children for their mother to pick them up on her visitation days.
- Picking up after the children and teaching them how to pick up after themselves.
- Instilling good morals, values and ethics in the children.
- Disciplining the children (usually quiet time in the corner)
- Dropping off and picking up the children to and from extra curricular activities (T-Ball, Gymnastics, Karate, Ballet Class and etc.).
- Caring for the children when they are sick
- Administering medicine to the children (if needed)
- Cook for the children
- Run errands
- Doing household laundry
- Household chores: sweeping, light mopping, cleaning dishes, wiping the table, dusting etc.
- Filling the humidifiers with water twice a day
- Take out the trash bags daily
- Take out the trash cans once a week
- Make a weekly grocery list


Qualified candidates have the following skills:

- Drivers license with clean driving record
- Experience with children
- Love of children
- General first aid knowledge
- Honest, Trustworthy and Reliable
- Not addicted to any drugs
- Speak English
- Ability to perform physical activities
- Motivated self starter
- Clean Criminal Record
- Compassionate, Loving and Caring


There are basically two shifts available. Late Mornings/early afternoons and evenings.

The first shift would be from 9 or 10am until around 12:45pm. You would feed the children breakfast and get them ready for school. Then you will use the provided mini-van to drive the children to school. Then just return the van to the home and your shift is over. This shift is necessary Monday through Friday.

The second shift will arrive at the house at 2:00pm and get the mini-van. Then pick up the children from their school and bring them home. Deliver the children to any after school activities (non at this time). I am usually home by 9pm but occasionally I may be running early or late. Sitter should be available until 10 or 11pm if needed. This shift is necessary Monday, Wednesday and Friday. (their mom picks them up from school on Tuesdays and Thursdays and keeps them until I get home.

There is a Saturday Shift available as well. This shift is from 9 or 10am until 9 or 10pm. It can be worked all day by one sitter or split into two shifts if there are two sitters willing to share it.

Sundays are optional. Their mom gets them every other Sunday so this shift would only be necessary every other Sunday.

You can choose between the first shift, second shift and/or Saturday shift. I don't care just as long as all shifts are covered.

Qualified and interested individuals should email me with the following information:

- Resume and work/experience history
- Name, Phone and contact info
- Recent Photograph if possible

Qualified individuals will be called in for an interview. Interviews can take place late in the evening or on Sunday at the Oak Lawn home. I may also be able to interview you in the afternoons at my downtown office if that is more convenient for you. If you are hired, you may start as soon as you can.

Good Luck,

Mike

**I have a spare bedroom and I would consider a live in nanny position for the right person. When I get home, the babysitter leaves and I cannot even leave the house to run an errand because I cannot leave the children alone in the house. Just having someone else there will be a big relief. You will be helping me as much as I am helping you. In this case your compensation will be room and board plus a weekly salary. We will come to an agreement on the hours you work and the days and times you want off. This will determine your salary. Right now their mom gets them on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2-8:30 Saturdays from 6-8:30 and every other sunday from 10-8:30 so those are times when your services will not be necessary. If you require another day off or some other time, just let me know and we will work it out. Also, in the next couple months their mom and I will be coming to an agreement which allows them several days overnight at their moms per week, so the workload will be much less then. Qualified individual will be given one nice size bedroom with new queen size bed, a closet, a dresser and a nightstand. Access to a bathroom (shared with the kids), Access to a refrigerator and kitchen (shared with the family). When you cook for the children you may cook enough for yourself as well so food is also provided as long as it is something that the children eat on a regular basis.

Why take custody away from the mom if you aren't parenting them in any way? There is a reason this guy is divorced.

[Anonymous]

I like this moms candor and I think we'd get along in that regard. I like to know where I stand with people. However, I'm not the kind of woman that notices bread crumbs or sand...not a micro detail person. I'm a big picture person. There's a nanny or two out there that could take this on.

[Anonymous]

He needs a wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs a wife

He had one. She got rid of him. He obviously didn't do any household or parenting responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of selfish parents out there. So sad for the poor children.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably be ok with the first one because I'm a critical thinker, practical, and clean. If the price was right...yea. Although I don't like to sail. And not sure kids that age need THAT much supervision/need someone to "play" with them in the sand like a 3 year old.

The second one makes me so sad for those kids. If I were the mom I would take that job description to family court and use it as a basis to eliminate shared custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Summer Live-In Nanny (Martha's Vineyard Edgartown)
Let me just start out by saying.. if you are looking for a 9 - 5 nanny position, are a primadona, have issues with respecting others, text and drive, text on the beach, takes selfies 24*7, read no further.

I have two wonderful girls who can be singing and dancing together one moment and in a wrestling match the next. My girls are messy, busy, bouncing off the walls, but mostly funny and wonderful. I am looking for someone from mid-May through 1st week in September.

My girls are super busy, sometimes they actually need to be in two places at one time, I need someone who can read my mind, know which one is more important and make that call. The kids sail, swim, play tennis, hockey and dance, I need you to love every one of those activities.
I can be a tad difficult to work for. I'm loud, always multi-tasking, completely disorganized, I work from home, so you the pleasure of being in my presence all day long and, you get to pretend to like me.

If you cannot multi-task, communicate clearly (you won't offend me), don't bother replying.
If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, sand on the floor, wet suits in the car, skip to the next post, because these are deal breakers they put me over the edge.

I have all sorts of theories on how to stack my dishwasher, fold laundry and if you are judgmental about Ritalin for ADHD, or ice cream before dinner, again, deal break city.

This is a live-in situation if you do not have housing already. You do get a room and your own bathroom in our home. You will get the largest guest bedroom in the house. However, we do sometimes have family visit and I may need you to move to a smaller bedroom while they are here (at the most two weeks). If this upsets you, don't email me. We have central air, wifi, and cable, you will have your own tv and plenty of down-time.

If you can cook, all the better, otherwise, I will teach you all sorts of things about pasta. I need someone who can cook two different types of macaroni and cheese at exactly the same time and also be able to open a can of tuna and remember which pot it goes in.

I am not looking for Super nanny, or anyone who wants this job because they will love my kids as if they are their own. I am looking for someone who will keep my children happy (though no child is ever always happy), keep them safe, get them to their summer activities, play with them on the beach. Playing on the beach means actually playing with them, not posting selfies and updating Instagram while a shark is about to chew off their leg or my 9 year old is ingesting sand. I need a team player. I need someone to back me up when it comes to remembering when the library books are due, whether we are running low on milk and dear lord, where is that second sneaker??

I do expect that when the children are at camp or an activity that you will want to go get coffee or sit on the beach, that's fine. However, if there is a 3 hour gap, I need help, offer to throw a load of laundry in, put those dishes in the dishwasher, clean up those beach towels that have been sitting for three days.

One a serious note:
-I need you to have a valid clean driver's license and record
- I need you to be able to swim, CPR certified is a big plus
- My hours vary so does your schedule, a typical day is 8 (8:30) -- 3:30 (4). Occasionally, I will need you to sit an evening or two. This will be communicated and scheduled at least 3 days in advance
- You may take a secondary job working evenings, if this interests you, I can help you find a job
- You will have access to a personal vehicle while caring for the girls. For after hour activities, you need your own car.
- You will need to provide 3 credible references
- You like children
- We have a dog that we adore, we will hope that you adore her too!

Please know, I am relatively easy going, however, I will not be walked over by someone who is coming here for a summer vacation. If you go out with your friends until 1 a.m., have at it. But you better be ready and up in the morning and look like you are ready to run a marathon. What you do on your own time is your business but don't let it affect mine.

Where did you find this, OP? Or is it your creative writing for the week?