Tension at work

[Anonymous]

I have been the nanny for an amazing two year old since his birth and I am an excellent nanny (even if you don't believe me, please accept this for argument's sake). I have had various issues crop up with my MB/DB before and we have dealt with them and happily moved on. However, now for the last month or two, things have been very tense between us. I am getting bugged by them and they are getting bugged at me.

How do I bring up the need for us to talk? Do I ask if something is wrong?

[Anonymous]

OP here and thank you.

[Anonymous]

When they act like that is because they want to kick you out,pay atention.

[Anonymous]

Maybe time for daycare. It's cheaper for cheap parents.

Ask them to pick a time to meet. You'd like to discuss how they feel things are going.

Everyone should be doing that at least once a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When they act like that is because they want to kick you out,pay atention.

Even if that were true, is it something I should address now?

[Anonymous]

Time to move on.
Really.
Life is short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time to move on.
Really.
Life is short.

OP here. I don't want to "move on". There must be a way to fix this issue/issues without throwing my charge's and my life and my life into upheaval. Yes, of course, I can get another job - I am approached at least twice a month - but I would prefer to stay with my charge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time to move on.
Really.
Life is short.

OP here. I don't want to "move on". There must be a way to fix this issue/issues without throwing my charge's and my life and my life into upheaval. Yes, of course, I can get another job - I am approached at least twice a month - but I would prefer to stay with my charge.

Who approaches you twice a month ? How do they do it

[Anonymous]

What kinds of things are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kinds of things are you talking about?

Just a tension. OP here and I can't describe it better than that. Things are not as they used to be.

[Anonymous]

It is entirely possible it has nothing to do with you, though it may eventually affect you. Examples:

Lay offs at someone's job
Lost promotion
someone having an affair/other marriage problems
grandparent health issue and demands on parents
major unexpected household expense
troubles TTC

Any of these might cause spillover tension in the household, and I'm sure there are a lot more. If it's really bad, you could say, "MB, is everything OK? It feels like there's some unusual tension here, and I'd really like to address it if we can."

If it really has nothing to do with you, that might clear the air.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is entirely possible it has nothing to do with you, though it may eventually affect you. Examples:

Lay offs at someone's job
Lost promotion
someone having an affair/other marriage problems
grandparent health issue and demands on parents
major unexpected household expense
troubles TTC

Any of these might cause spillover tension in the household, and I'm sure there are a lot more. If it's really bad, you could say, "MB, is everything OK? It feels like there's some unusual tension here, and I'd really like to address it if we can."

If it really has nothing to do with you, that might clear the air.

Excellent advice. But are you sure that there is nothing that you, the nanny, want to clear the air about? You said that she is bugging you - why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is entirely possible it has nothing to do with you, though it may eventually affect you. Examples:

Lay offs at someone's job
Lost promotion
someone having an affair/other marriage problems
grandparent health issue and demands on parents
major unexpected household expense
troubles TTC

Any of these might cause spillover tension in the household, and I'm sure there are a lot more. If it's really bad, you could say, "MB, is everything OK? It feels like there's some unusual tension here, and I'd really like to address it if we can."

If it really has nothing to do with you, that might clear the air.

Excellent advice. But are you sure that there is nothing that you, the nanny, want to clear the air about? You said that she is bugging you - why?

Every nanny knows what she means. Leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

Try, "I am sensing that there is some tension between you and I lately" as an opening remark. Make sure you bring up this subject when MB has time to talk and not right as she is leaving for work.

Honestly, sometimes just the acknowledgement is enough.

Good luck, OP. It is miserable when there is unspoken tension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is entirely possible it has nothing to do with you, though it may eventually affect you. Examples:

Lay offs at someone's job
Lost promotion
someone having an affair/other marriage problems
grandparent health issue and demands on parents
major unexpected household expense
troubles TTC

Any of these might cause spillover tension in the household, and I'm sure there are a lot more. If it's really bad, you could say, "MB, is everything OK? It feels like there's some unusual tension here, and I'd really like to address it if we can."

If it really has nothing to do with you, that might clear the air.

Excellent advice. But are you sure that there is nothing that you, the nanny, want to clear the air about? You said that she is bugging you - why?

Every nanny knows what she means. Leave her alone.

NP here and I don't think OP came here and posted to be left alone. I agree that this would be a prime time for OP to tell her MB where she feels "bugged" as well. If MBis micromanaging, being disrespectful, not appreciative, etc - that is all information that MB should have.