Nannies, what are the hills that you would be willing to die on?

[Anonymous]

I have always known that I would never spank or yell at my charges - and would quit rather than be forced to do so.

However, now I have come up with a second dilemma. My MB wants my 22 month old (low weight percentile) charge to go to bed hungry if he will not eat what she chooses for him to eat that day. He is a well-behaved little boy and not a crier - but he did cry in his highchair on Friday because he was hungry (hadn't eaten since 7AM) and didn't like what was on his plate. Not a bratty cry - a truly heartbroken, big tear cry. I was heartbroken for him and feel that MB was dead wrong in her approach and request. I called her and convinced her to let me give him some yogurt and fruit.

However - if she had said no, I would have given it to him anyway - in full view of the nanny cam and risk being fired over it. I will not send a baby to bed hungry.

I am interested in hearing if other nannies have lines they simply will not cross regardless of their employers request.

[Anonymous]

I don't starve kids for one....

I work for parents that trust my judgment. I discuss they way I approach things during the initial interview. I don't work for people where I would have to cross lines to keep my charges healthy and happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't starve kids for one....

I work for parents that trust my judgment. I discuss they way I approach things during the initial interview. I don't work for people where I would have to cross lines to keep my charges healthy and happy.

OP here. It simply never occurred to me to ask about how they intended to feed their then newborn baby 22 months later during our initial interview.

[Anonymous]

I do not do "Baby Wise".

I do not spank or raise my voice.

I do not let my charges go hungry ever.

I had a situation like yours, OP, and I fed my charge against his mother's wishes all of the time and every single day. I did it on the sly because I was afraid that the next nanny she would hire would listen to her and let the poor little girl go hungry. I fed her a healthy meal and snack that she liked every single day and told the mother that she ate what the mother wanted her to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't starve kids for one....

I work for parents that trust my judgment. I discuss they way I approach things during the initial interview. I don't work for people where I would have to cross lines to keep my charges healthy and happy.

OP here. It simply never occurred to me to ask about how they intended to feed their then newborn baby 22 months later during our initial interview.

When you have been a nanny for a while you learn to spot crazy....

[Anonymous]

I no longer have a nanny, but have APs for my older children. When interviewing I supply a list of major items that would end in immediate terminatiion. I think nannies should come up with a similar list of things they will NEVER do of asked. This way clear boundaries are set and each party can make a decision at that point if thy can comply with the terms.

[Anonymous]

There are some sick parents out there. Do you have any idea what her problem is, OP? I wouldn't be surprised if she was treated the same way as a little child. Is her husband or anyone else aware of her behavior.

The last time I had someone like that, I called up CPS to ask a few questions. This sort of behavior is a problem as far as they're concerned.

[Anonymous]

I would get fired before I let a baby go to bed hungry. You did the right thing, OP, in calling the mother. And I would have been on your side had you gone agains the mother's expressed wishes on this one.

Your MB is nuts to start making meals a battleground at this age. Tell her to read Ellyn Satter's books and website.

[Anonymous]

Ellyn Satter x10000000.

You did the right thing, OP. How do be teach children to trust their appetites if we starve them? That's so crazy. I'm glad you fed him, and I hope you can get him out of the house for other healthy and enjoyable foods so he's well-nourished.

[Anonymous]

When my current charge was about 14 months old, he would poop in his diaper and then immediately come to me or his parents to get changed. His mother suggested letting him sit in his own poop to motivate him to be potty trained. I said no - I would not do that.

Seriously, I am not going to allow a baby to sit in fecal matter to prove some point that he is far too young to understand.

If she would have fired me over this, I would have accepted it.

[Anonymous]

I babysit this one baby. 9 months old. No solids food, no water, no fruits no snacks (finger foods) - only breast milk (not from the bottle but straight from the breast). Every two hours. The mom try to gave the baby rice cereal with cold mild (breast milk) and the baby refused it!

Her mom told me that the doctor told her "oh don't worry she have breast milk, breast milk give her everything"

How can 9 months old baby get all the nutrition from breast milk?

I bought few pct baby food i.e Gerber organic - she said oh her baby wont it this (without trying!). Her baby is teething and she just gave her measurement spoon as teething toys! So I bought the proper teething toys and keep in the fridge and give to the baby. The next day I come I cant find it anymore!

Her baby always cranky always crying always want to be held.

She offered me fulltime position but I told her plain NO.

[Anonymous]

Some parents are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I babysit this one baby. 9 months old. No solids food, no water, no fruits no snacks (finger foods) - only breast milk (not from the bottle but straight from the breast). Every two hours. The mom try to gave the baby rice cereal with cold mild (breast milk) and the baby refused it!

Her mom told me that the doctor told her "oh don't worry she have breast milk, breast milk give her everything"

How can 9 months old baby get all the nutrition from breast milk?

I bought few pct baby food i.e Gerber organic - she said oh her baby wont it this (without trying!). Her baby is teething and she just gave her measurement spoon as teething toys! So I bought the proper teething toys and keep in the fridge and give to the baby. The next day I come I cant find it anymore!

Her baby always cranky always crying always want to be held.

She offered me fulltime position but I told her plain NO.

Many mothers choose to exclusively breastfeed until 1 year of age. While the WHO recommends EBF until 6 months, there is no documented study stating that infants "need" to eat solid foods if they are maintaining optimal growth and development.

You sound uneducated and, frankly, like you rely on your own experience rather than proven data and evidence based practices. If you brought baby food into my home, after I explicitly told you not to, I would be firing you (for ignorance and disrespect), not offering you a full time position. Keep your opinions to yourself.

P.S. "organic" on a label means bunk

[Anonymous]

My kid was low weight and was addicted to his bottle. At age two that was all he would take. We worked with a nutritionist and pediatrician and didn't give him a bottle for days. We offered food and he refused. It was very hard but I did not give him a bottle even though he asked. Our caregivers had an extremely hard time with this. It took about 3 days before he would eat and of course he was miserable. He eats great now a year later. Once he started eating food he did get his bottle back - needed all the calories we could get.

But truly our caregivers struggled and fought me on this plan. I took my child to the doctor to monitor weight as she knew what I was doing. If I had done it the caregivers way he's probably still only get nutrition from a bottle and as an older child introducing new thing now would be even harder.

Maybe she has a plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was low weight and was addicted to his bottle. At age two that was all he would take. We worked with a nutritionist and pediatrician and didn't give him a bottle for days. We offered food and he refused. It was very hard but I did not give him a bottle even though he asked. Our caregivers had an extremely hard time with this. It took about 3 days before he would eat and of course he was miserable. He eats great now a year later. Once he started eating food he did get his bottle back - needed all the calories we could get.

But truly our caregivers struggled and fought me on this plan. I took my child to the doctor to monitor weight as she knew what I was doing. If I had done it the caregivers way he's probably still only get nutrition from a bottle and as an older child introducing new thing now would be even harder.

Maybe she has a plan.

This is DCUM, don't you know that nannies know everything and all parents are just lazy, selfish, slobs who neglect their children?
You were obviously depriving your child and neither you nor your pediatrician had any clue what you were doing just like OP's NF.