Nannies, what are the hills that you would be willing to die on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please share a few links about nothing but breast milk for 12 months.

Notice the silence.

Does it occur to you that people have lives that don't revolve around posting online? Google it yourself if you are so interested.

[Anonymous]

You should report a parent to CPS who refuses to allow you to feed a hungry child. This is unconscionabme. Only a black hearted beast lets a child go hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should report a parent to CPS who refuses to allow you to feed a hungry child. This is unconscionabme. Only a black hearted beast lets a child go hungry.

I have to agree. I'm the poster who once called CPS to ask some questions about a former employer, but the mother finally agreed to have me feed the child as I saw fit, so I didn't have to actually report her. But I ended up leaving that crazy woman shortly after anyways. I still worry about that poor child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should report a parent to CPS who refuses to allow you to feed a hungry child. This is unconscionabme. Only a black hearted beast lets a child go hungry.

The parent is not letting the child go hungry. The child is choosing to go hungry because they are not eating the FOOD that is given to them. Now if a parent refuseed to give any food them that's diffent. But in op's case the child had food but wasn't hungry enough to eat it. It's as if you give a child pasta, broccoli and chicken but they scream their head off and refuse to take 1 bite because they want chocolate cake. Same thing. Clearly they aren't hungry because a child who was starving and didn't know when they would see food again would eat just about anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I babysit this one baby. 9 months old. No solids food, no water, no fruits no snacks (finger foods) - only breast milk (not from the bottle but straight from the breast). Every two hours. The mom try to gave the baby rice cereal with cold mild (breast milk) and the baby refused it!

Her mom told me that the doctor told her "oh don't worry she have breast milk, breast milk give her everything"

How can 9 months old baby get all the nutrition from breast milk?

I bought few pct baby food i.e Gerber organic - she said oh her baby wont it this (without trying!). Her baby is teething and she just gave her measurement spoon as teething toys! So I bought the proper teething toys and keep in the fridge and give to the baby. The next day I come I cant find it anymore!

Her baby always cranky always crying always want to be held.

She offered me fulltime position but I told her plain NO.

You realize that breast milk is nutritious right?

And you know that jarred baby food is crap?

And you realize that food under 1 is fun? It's not meant for eating, getting the proper caloric intake or filling up. Food is for fun under One.

The main thing I would disagree with on the parent side is rice cereal. Cereal is a filler and empty calories. Nothing of value in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should report a parent to CPS who refuses to allow you to feed a hungry child. This is unconscionabme. Only a black hearted beast lets a child go hungry.

The parent is not letting the child go hungry. The child is choosing to go hungry because they are not eating the FOOD that is given to them. Now if a parent refuseed to give any food them that's diffent. But in op's case the child had food but wasn't hungry enough to eat it. It's as if you give a child pasta, broccoli and chicken but they scream their head off and refuse to take 1 bite because they want chocolate cake. Same thing. Clearly they aren't hungry because a child who was starving and didn't know when they would see food again would eat just about anything.

Most toddlers I know have never tasted chocolate cake.

Are you saying a child has to be LITERALLY starving before it becomes an issue? If I hate pasta, broccoli, and chicken and that's what my husband cooks for dinner, I'm going to skip a meal. I can make it up at breakfast and have something I do want. Kids, especially pre-verbal kids, don't have that option. Yes, people do send their children to bed hungry and no it is not an effective disciplinary method. It is destructive and harmful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should report a parent to CPS who refuses to allow you to feed a hungry child. This is unconscionabme. Only a black hearted beast lets a child go hungry.

The parent is not letting the child go hungry. The child is choosing to go hungry because they are not eating the FOOD that is given to them. Now if a parent refuseed to give any food them that's diffent. But in op's case the child had food but wasn't hungry enough to eat it. It's as if you give a child pasta, broccoli and chicken but they scream their head off and refuse to take 1 bite because they want chocolate cake. Same thing. Clearly they aren't hungry because a child who was starving and didn't know when they would see food again would eat just about anything.

Most toddlers I know have never tasted chocolate cake.

Are you saying a child has to be LITERALLY starving before it becomes an issue? If I hate pasta, broccoli, and chicken and that's what my husband cooks for dinner, I'm going to skip a meal. I can make it up at breakfast and have something I do want. Kids, especially pre-verbal kids, don't have that option. Yes, people do send their children to bed hungry and no it is not an effective disciplinary method. It is destructive and harmful.

LITERAL starvation does not occur until a person has lost 30% of their body weight. A child who refuses to eat for a day, or even two, is NOT starving. Refusing to cater to a toddler's whims is not child abuse, and a non-verbal child will eat if they are hungry, regardless of if they enjoy the food or not (and guess what, they don't have to like it!).

Stop conflating this issue. Stop making it much bigger than it is. Food deprivation is a real issue for children, right here in our city; children with nannies cooking them 2-3 meals a day are NOT part of this group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid was low weight and was addicted to his bottle. At age two that was all he would take. We worked with a nutritionist and pediatrician and didn't give him a bottle for days. We offered food and he refused. It was very hard but I did not give him a bottle even though he asked. Our caregivers had an extremely hard time with this. It took about 3 days before he would eat and of course he was miserable. He eats great now a year later. Once he started eating food he did get his bottle back - needed all the calories we could get.

But truly our caregivers struggled and fought me on this plan. I took my child to the doctor to monitor weight as she knew what I was doing. If I had done it the caregivers way he's probably still only get nutrition from a bottle and as an older child introducing new thing now would be even harder.

Maybe she has a plan.

But wouldn't you tell your plan to the nanny so she can follow it too?

My boss doesn't tell me what to feed their child. I see what's there and choose what's for lunch with a little input from the two year old at work. If he doesn't eat, he'll eat at the next meal. But I don't have bosses to tell me what to feed. It's pretty much at my discretion.

[Anonymous]

Tell that to a parent whose child has Failure to Thrive. Tell that to my mother who was severely malnourished and underweight until she went to college, as she grew up with that kind of thinking ("if she's hungry enough she'll eat.") It is not a humane way to be treated. Would you like to be served something you hate day in and day out because your husband, or mother, or caretaker when you're elderly and infirm thinks you SHOULD eat it? Children are human beings too. I said it before, I'm not a short order cook, there is always a mix of liked, so-so, and new foods on a plate to choose from, but it is reprehensible to send a child to bed hungry because they wouldn't eat something you know they don't like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell that to a parent whose child has Failure to Thrive. Tell that to my mother who was severely malnourished and underweight until she went to college, as she grew up with that kind of thinking ("if she's hungry enough she'll eat.") It is not a humane way to be treated. Would you like to be served something you hate day in and day out because your husband, or mother, or caretaker when you're elderly and infirm thinks you SHOULD eat it? Children are human beings too. I said it before, I'm not a short order cook, there is always a mix of liked, so-so, and new foods on a plate to choose from, but it is reprehensible to send a child to bed hungry because they wouldn't eat something you know they don't like.

Your being ridiculous. It's ok to be hungry . Especially if you have food available to your. Hunger is a choice at least in this situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are raising picky, spoiled children who only eat a few things. There is nothing wrong with not giving children their favorite things every single meal. You can offer them a variety of things and make sure there is at least something that you know they somewhat like on their plate, but you do not have to take orders and keep giving them only things that you know they like.

Kids are fickle. Sometimes they eat a lot and sometimes they eat a little bit and that's okay.

Right, and certainly easier for nanny if she can just give a child what he/she wants in the moment. This is where parenting is different than
nannying.

I have to disagree with this. As a nanny. I find that poor eating habits can come from both sides either parent or nanny. I know that letting a child snack on goldfish and apple juice all morning means he/she will not eat a good lunch. So I don't do it. I think that in either case the nanny/parent should take a nutrition class, coordinate with their pediatrician, and create healthy long term eating habits. They should also sit down together without the child and create a plan of action that both can follow through with.

Also as a nanny I am more than happy to sit down and go over long and short term goals that the parents have for their children. I respect boundaries, while also adding what I have learned. Its a two way street that should be coming from a place of respect on both ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are raising picky, spoiled children who only eat a few things. There is nothing wrong with not giving children their favorite things every single meal. You can offer them a variety of things and make sure there is at least something that you know they somewhat like on their plate, but you do not have to take orders and keep giving them only things that you know they like.

Kids are fickle. Sometimes they eat a lot and sometimes they eat a little bit and that's okay.

Right, and certainly easier for nanny if she can just give a child what he/she wants in the moment. This is where parenting is different than
nannying.

I have to disagree with this. As a nanny. I find that poor eating habits can come from both sides either parent or nanny. I know that letting a child snack on goldfish and apple juice all morning means he/she will not eat a good lunch. So I don't do it. I think that in either case the nanny/parent should take a nutrition class, coordinate with their pediatrician, and create healthy long term eating habits. They should also sit down together without the child and create a plan of action that both can follow through with.

Also as a nanny I am more than happy to sit down and go over long and short term goals that the parents have for their children. I respect boundaries, while also adding what I have learned. Its a two way street that should be coming from a place of respect on both ends.

I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell that to a parent whose child has Failure to Thrive. Tell that to my mother who was severely malnourished and underweight until she went to college, as she grew up with that kind of thinking ("if she's hungry enough she'll eat.") It is not a humane way to be treated. Would you like to be served something you hate day in and day out because your husband, or mother, or caretaker when you're elderly and infirm thinks you SHOULD eat it? Children are human beings too. I said it before, I'm not a short order cook, there is always a mix of liked, so-so, and new foods on a plate to choose from, but it is reprehensible to send a child to bed hungry because they wouldn't eat something you know they don't like.

Your being ridiculous. It's ok to be hungry . Especially if you have food available to your. Hunger is a choice at least in this situation

It's "you're" and I am certainly not. My 5'5" mother weighed under 100 pounds when she finally moved out of my grandmother's house and was allowed to select her own food. She was literally starving for her entire childhood because her mother believed like you.

What's something you hate? Let's say you don't much care for meat, not for ethical reasons, just not a fan. Say you're 85 and in assisted living and no, you can't have eggs or cheese or tofu, meat comes on your plate every night whether you want it or not, and that's where you're expected to get your protein. You honestly believe that's a humane way to treat people who can't provide food for themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell that to a parent whose child has Failure to Thrive. Tell that to my mother who was severely malnourished and underweight until she went to college, as she grew up with that kind of thinking ("if she's hungry enough she'll eat.") It is not a humane way to be treated. Would you like to be served something you hate day in and day out because your husband, or mother, or caretaker when you're elderly and infirm thinks you SHOULD eat it? Children are human beings too. I said it before, I'm not a short order cook, there is always a mix of liked, so-so, and new foods on a plate to choose from, but it is reprehensible to send a child to bed hungry because they wouldn't eat something you know they don't like.

Your being ridiculous. It's ok to be hungry . Especially if you have food available to your. Hunger is a choice at least in this situation

It's "you're" and I am certainly not. My 5'5" mother weighed under 100 pounds when she finally moved out of my grandmother's house and was allowed to select her own food. She was literally starving for her entire childhood because her mother believed like you.

What's something you hate? Let's say you don't much care for meat, not for ethical reasons, just not a fan. Say you're 85 and in assisted living and no, you can't have eggs or cheese or tofu, meat comes on your plate every night whether you want it or not, and that's where you're expected to get your protein. You honestly believe that's a humane way to treat people who can't provide food for themselves?

Yes I do. We as humans have too much choice. It's unnecessary. Your mother made the choice to starve. If she was provided with enough food that is and she herself decided to not eat it. Food insecurity is another issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't starve kids for one....

I work for parents that trust my judgment. I discuss they way I approach things during the initial interview. I don't work for people where I would have to cross lines to keep my charges healthy and happy.

This. OP needs to get a new job. The mother's mental illness isn't going way until she acknowledges it and gets some professional help for herself.