Nanny thinks we have a nanny cam-but we don't

[Anonymous]

Our new nanny recently made a comment that leads me to believe she thinks we have a nanny cam-but we don't and we have told her so.

My kids often tell me about stuff (ie-nanny on phone/texting, nanny breaking something but not telling us, child hurting themsleves but nanny doesnt mention anything)

When my kids tell me stuff, I inquire with her about it the next day to learn the full story--which may lead her to feel I discovered these things via cam-but its the kids giving me insight.

We have motion sensors throughout the house as part of our alarm system-that go on and off when anybody walka into and out of a room-but they have no video/audio.

The nanny has had a bit of an attitude about it. Wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Lol obvious troll is obvious. No one would keep someone like that as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Not a troll and looking for advice.

Do I try to continue to reassure her that we are not 'watching' her or try to find a new nanny who doesnt have a chip on her shoulder when she gets feedback on what to do/not do...

We spent a long time finding this nanny so I dont want to give up so easily if its recoverable...

[Anonymous]

What is the problem here? Whether it's coming from your children or a video, you clearly don't trust her if you feel the need to ask her for additional information the next day. Hire a nanny who will be upfront with you and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Why does the nanny have a problem if you have a camera? Does she think that she is being challenged or have any guilt?

I think it all depends on how your relationship is going at this point and how you feel.

Assuming you already stated that you do not have a camera, I would not try to convince. Either she thinks you may or may not have a camera and is OK working for you, or she is not.

I think *convincing* her that you do not have a camera is something that you should not have to do. And even if you are successful, you are prone to have problems later based on the direction you are headed.

[Anonymous]

Why would you keep a nanny who doesn't pay attention to your kids, doesn't tell you when they get hurt, and breaks things but doesn't tell you?

[Anonymous]

Just get someone you can trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our new nanny recently made a comment that leads me to believe she thinks we have a nanny cam-but we don't and we have told her so.

My kids often tell me about stuff (ie-nanny on phone/texting, nanny breaking something but not telling us, child hurting themsleves but nanny doesnt mention anything)

When my kids tell me stuff, I inquire with her about it the next day to learn the full story--which may lead her to feel I discovered these things via cam-but its the kids giving me insight.

We have motion sensors throughout the house as part of our alarm system-that go on and off when anybody walka into and out of a room-but they have no video/audio.

The nanny has had a bit of an attitude about it. Wwyd?

Tell her the truth.

Why is this even a question?! Seriously, it is idiot MBs like you that make us all look bad. JUST TELL YOUR NANNY THE TRUTH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our new nanny recently made a comment that leads me to believe she thinks we have a nanny cam-but we don't and we have told her so.

My kids often tell me about stuff (ie-nanny on phone/texting, nanny breaking something but not telling us, child hurting themsleves but nanny doesnt mention anything)

When my kids tell me stuff, I inquire with her about it the next day to learn the full story--which may lead her to feel I discovered these things via cam-but its the kids giving me insight.

We have motion sensors throughout the house as part of our alarm system-that go on and off when anybody walka into and out of a room-but they have no video/audio.

The nanny has had a bit of an attitude about it. Wwyd?

Your comment makes no sense. The nanny WAS told the truth-read the OP.


Tell her the truth.

Why is this even a question?! Seriously, it is idiot MBs like you that make us all look bad. JUST TELL YOUR NANNY THE TRUTH.

[Anonymous]

It looks to me as if you both are not a good match.

She seems anti-trusting on her part and if you tell her something is false, she should take your word for it.

Perhaps she has been burned before. And now she carries a chip.

Since she apparently has attitude now, let her go. You are a bad match for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It looks to me as if you both are not a good match.

She seems anti-trusting on her part and if you tell her something is false, she should take your word for it.

Perhaps she has been burned before. And now she carries a chip.

Since she apparently has attitude now, let her go. You are a bad match for each other.

But please don't make another mistake next time.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I would sit her down for a direct conversation.

Tell her you want to touch base as you feel that you are not all working as well together as you would like. Ask her if she feels that the job is working out well. Ask her if she has any concerns or questions, etc...

Ask a few leading questions to try to get a sense of how she's feeling, what she's thinking, etc... You may find she volunteers what you suspect (concern about cameras) or you may find there is something else entirely concerning her. Then you can talk about whatever she raises, rather than guessing at what you think is a problem.

If she volunteers nothing, then you say "I'm concerned because I feel like you are not fully happy in the position. I feel like you don't believe me when I tell you we don't have cameras. Is that true? " Then deal with that.

THEN, after that piece, you say something like "I want to make sure you and I know that we are honest and direct with each other. Kids tell stories all the time - often true and often fabrication or some combination of truth and fiction. So I want both you and I to know that we will be honest and fully informative about what happens with the kids when we're "on duty." That means I tell you if they have been sick, or got hurt, or didn't sleep well, or whatever... And you tell me all the same things. If we hear it from each other we don't have to worry about sifting truth from fiction out from the kids' stories (which is all I'm attempting to do when checking with you about something they've told me.) ok?"

You definitely have a problem to address. Whether it's simply miscommunication and hurt feelings that could be fixed with better communication, or you have a nanny who isn't trustworthy, isn't certain at this point. But you need to address it - if you just let it fester it will poison the relationship and you'll be rehiring sooner than you prefer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I would sit her down for a direct conversation.

Tell her you want to touch base as you feel that you are not all working as well together as you would like. Ask her if she feels that the job is working out well. Ask her if she has any concerns or questions, etc...

Ask a few leading questions to try to get a sense of how she's feeling, what she's thinking, etc... You may find she volunteers what you suspect (concern about cameras) or you may find there is something else entirely concerning her. Then you can talk about whatever she raises, rather than guessing at what you think is a problem.

If she volunteers nothing, then you say "I'm concerned because I feel like you are not fully happy in the position. I feel like you don't believe me when I tell you we don't have cameras. Is that true? " Then deal with that.

THEN, after that piece, you say something like "I want to make sure you and I know that we are honest and direct with each other. Kids tell stories all the time - often true and often fabrication or some combination of truth and fiction. So I want both you and I to know that we will be honest and fully informative about what happens with the kids when we're "on duty." That means I tell you if they have been sick, or got hurt, or didn't sleep well, or whatever... And you tell me all the same things. If we hear it from each other we don't have to worry about sifting truth from fiction out from the kids' stories (which is all I'm attempting to do when checking with you about something they've told me.) ok?"

You definitely have a problem to address. Whether it's simply miscommunication and hurt feelings that could be fixed with better communication, or you have a nanny who isn't trustworthy, isn't certain at this point. But you need to address it - if you just let it fester it will poison the relationship and you'll be rehiring sooner than you prefer.

Most parents don't want to be that transparent, in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just get someone you can trust.

Agree. I think you learned enough from your kids to be disappointed in your nanny. Next is her going to the nail salon, mcD's, her boyfriends with the kids and her bribing them not to tell you.

Continue to inquire about all of those things your kids mention. Don't disclose it is then telling you it a camera whatever. Facts are facts and she is in a slippery slope to bad care.