Skipping charges milestone event for personal family time and MB just wanted to use me as a helper?

[Anonymous]

My charge is having a huge event and I wouldn't have missed it for the world except that MB moved the date up 3 weeks last minute and I already had travel plans scheduled to see my own family. I told her I didn't want to miss it and would try my best to adjust my plans.

The second I said that, she asked if I could pick up some chairs and deliver them to the venue the day of and drop back off the next night. She also asked since the party planner is a family friend who said due to having to set up party she would miss services that morning, could I come super early and help with set up so this woman can make the first event. Wtf. Now there's no way I want to skip seeing my family, she completely diminished my relationship with charge and her family by wanting me to be part of help staff with no pay of course because I'm an invited guest. I'd like to know how to break this to charge, that I can't come and also how to tell MB I no longer am available. Tia.

[Anonymous]

Tell the mother you tried but weren't able to change your plans. Tell the kid that you thought you'd go, but then when the date was changed last minute, it was changed to a date you're scheduled to be away and can't change your plans. Then tell the kid you'd like to do something special with them before you go (or after) and come up with something.

[Anonymous]

Simply tell your MomBoss that you tried to switch up your plans, however it was impossible to do so.

I would be outraged that my boss took me only as the hired help. That that was all I represented to them. Nothing more.

Screw that.

[Anonymous]

Is simply say I'm not available and need my time off for my own family. What is with families thinking nannies don't have personal lives? FOH

[Anonymous]

*I'd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My charge is having a huge event and I wouldn't have missed it for the world except that MB moved the date up 3 weeks last minute and I already had travel plans scheduled to see my own family. I told her I didn't want to miss it and would try my best to adjust my plans.

The second I said that, she asked if I could pick up some chairs and deliver them to the venue the day of and drop back off the next night. She also asked since the party planner is a family friend who said due to having to set up party she would miss services that morning, could I come super early and help with set up so this woman can make the first event. Wtf. Now there's no way I want to skip seeing my family, she completely diminished my relationship with charge and her family by wanting me to be part of help staff with no pay of course because I'm an invited guest. I'd like to know how to break this to charge, that I can't come and also how to tell MB I no longer am available. Tia.

To the mother "I am so sorry but I wasn't able to change my travel plans. I found out that my grandmother (father, brother, whomever...) is having a big party for me."

To the child, "I love you and I hate to miss your fun party! Let's make a plan for our own special celebration when I get back".


I'm sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My charge is having a huge event and I wouldn't have missed it for the world except that MB moved the date up 3 weeks last minute and I already had travel plans scheduled to see my own family. I told her I didn't want to miss it and would try my best to adjust my plans.

The second I said that, she asked if I could pick up some chairs and deliver them to the venue the day of and drop back off the next night. She also asked since the party planner is a family friend who said due to having to set up party she would miss services that morning, could I come super early and help with set up so this woman can make the first event. Wtf. Now there's no way I want to skip seeing my family, she completely diminished my relationship with charge and her family by wanting me to be part of help staff with no pay of course because I'm an invited guest. I'd like to know how to break this to charge, that I can't come and also how to tell MB I no longer am available. Tia.

To the mother "I am so sorry but I wasn't able to change my travel plans. I found out that my grandmother (father, brother, whomever...) is having a big party for me."

To the child, "I love you and I hate to miss your fun party! Let's make a plan for our own special celebration when I get back".


I'm sorry, OP.

This is perfect.

That MB is obnoxious. Totally obnoxious. (And I'm an MB who invites our nannies to kids' events as guests, not unpaid staff! Jeez.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My charge is having a huge event and I wouldn't have missed it for the world except that MB moved the date up 3 weeks last minute and I already had travel plans scheduled to see my own family. I told her I didn't want to miss it and would try my best to adjust my plans.

The second I said that, she asked if I could pick up some chairs and deliver them to the venue the day of and drop back off the next night. She also asked since the party planner is a family friend who said due to having to set up party she would miss services that morning, could I come super early and help with set up so this woman can make the first event. Wtf. Now there's no way I want to skip seeing my family, she completely diminished my relationship with charge and her family by wanting me to be part of help staff with no pay of course because I'm an invited guest. I'd like to know how to break this to charge, that I can't come and also how to tell MB I no longer am available. Tia.

If the event is on the weekend, outside of your normal hours and you cannot make it, you cannot make it. Tell her asap so she can get the help she needs.

As for your second question - did your childcare or housekeeping routine just change a bit with back to school? Do you now have tons more downtime? Did your rate or weekly salary get changed downward, stay the same or what with the new duties?

If you can help out during the week with the party prep then do so. If you cannot, then say you cannot. I would, however, be wary of saying now if you are getting paid to nothing for a few hours a day while the kids are in school. There may be a bigger issue where your hours and work has changed and you both need to sit down and talk about it so no one (NF or you) feel taken advantage of.

[Anonymous]

Totally out of line for MB. What is it a Bar Mitzvah? Tell her to hire someone. You already have plans.

[Anonymous]

Is this a serious question?

Simple answer, OP, just say you're not available.

Why you felt the need to crowdsource an answer to such a simple question is the larger mystery.