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This is a vent and does not include all parents. This is for the selfish and self-centered. I spoke with the family prior to our meet tonight. I do not nanny shares because I've been screwed over in the past. One of my preliminary questions is asking if that is a possibility. The parents said absolutely not. They wanted the one on one attention of a nanny. I was happy to hear that and looking forward to meeting! I get to my interview and spend 1.5 hours talking, asking questions, interacting with the baby, etcetera. At the last minute the mom discloses that she has changed her mind and now in talks of doing a nanny share with another family. She had know this for two weeks already. Then asks if it's a deal breaker.
I kept my cool but livid on the inside. The appropriate thing would of been for her to tell me prior to tonight that her decision has changed. Now I wasted precious time with self-centered parents. I even explained how I was once blindsided by this at a prior interview and she goes ahead and does it. I'm floored by the lack of respect and just so pissed off. I liked them a lot during the interview until that was brought up. I am so frustrated and applauded they call themselves adults. |
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You need to calm down. Everyone is an asshole. Even you. She probably just thought you'd meet them and like them so much you might make an exception so it was worth meeting with you to see if that happened.
I'm sorry she wasn't up front, but let go and move on tomorrow, you know? |
| That's not self-centered. |
It's wrong to do. Plain and simple. If I didn't disclose something imperative as this, I would of been written a bad review or told off. Why is it different because she's a parent. I'm not a doormat and their is no excuse for not disclosing this. |
| Another reason why we should get references for parents. You need to know about their character. Some of them are despicable. |
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I can relate, OP. I recently interviewed with a family for a position that was advertised as "after school position, 5:30pm-7:30pm 5 nights per week." They offered $20/hr and guaranteed hours, and live within a mile of me. We exchanged several emails, discussing everything in detail, and had a brief phone interview before setting up the actual interview.
At the end of the interview, they asked if I also could do morning drop offs for their son on occasion (7:30am-9am). I explained that my daytime nanny job is 8-4, so I couldn't do the morning shifts. MB could tell I was surprised, and said "oh, I thought I mentioned it in one of my emails," and I assured her that no, she had not. She said, "well, we really enjoyed meeting you and your reviews on care.com were great, and the mornings really aren't a deal breaker," and asked me to give her my references (which I had previously told her I would give to her after we met face to face). Well, I gave her my (gushing, glowing, amazing) references, and one week later she emailed me to say "you were great, but we ended up hiring a candidate who was available for morning drop offs, too." Fucking great, lady. Way to completely waste my time! |
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Wow. Just wow.
I feel your pain OP. What a rude thing of her to do!! You wasted 1 1/2 hours of your time as well as transportation costs only to find out this mother wasn't completely upfront with you from the beginning. Sounds to me as if she was trying to run a hustle on you, get you to fall in love with her kid, then using the kid as a pawn, try to get you to change your mind. Yes, she is very self-centered. |
| Bait and switch. I am sorry OP but those are simply crappy people. |
| Maybe the families needs or finances changed or they'd did not think the costs through. |
This is more likely, but of course the nannies assume all parents are evil. |
Or, the parents have no regard for the nanny's time and knew all along they wanted a share, hoping nanny would change her mind. OP, tell all your nanny friends the name of this woman and they, in turn, tell other nannies-- the nanny underground weeding out undesirable MBs. |
That is the MB's problem. This woman canceled on me twice and set up interviews. She had all the time to be upfront about it but she didn't. She knew that was my one of my deal breakers. |
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It's kind of rude but keep in mind she is probably dealing with 50+ applicants. Just because you asked that question before doesn't mean she will remember who asked what question.
It is kind of a bit self centered for you to call her out on this forum as self centered. It was not a huge huge mistake that needs to be called out here. I think you are a problem nanny and if not this, then something else will make you think she is a horrible horrible MB and have you posting about it here. |
| She thought you might be a good enough nanny with a reasonable rate to sway her off of the share but then you came in with your bad attitude, questionable experience and sky high demands and she decided to stick with the share. Sorry but what did you expect? |
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OP, look at it this way - if you worked for a company and applied for a promotion, would you want to be considered even if you didn't meet all of the qualifications? I would, because you never know if something else about you will appeal and compensate. Maybe they had been wanting a share but thought for the right person they'd hire their own - they were seeing if you were that person.
It's also completely possible she wasted your time hoping you'd be the one to change your mind, but that's not nearly as nice a way of looking at it. |