I didn't get the job...AGAIN?

[Anonymous]

Watts the best way to get ask how come I wasn't hired? I thought I did pretty well.

[Anonymous]

It would be extremely awkward to ask why. Just move on.

Someone better just came along, not much you can do about that. Someday you will run into that family who is happy with just you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you are wise to ask why you aren't getting hired if you are not getting hired more than a few times.

You have to do it in a way that conveys a desire to improve and not wanting to take up a lot of the MB/DB's time.

Ideal is email, in my opinion. How did they notify you you didn't get the job?

Email: "Thank you for letting me know. I really enjoyed interviewing, and you are exactly the type of family I would like to nanny for. Because of that, could I ask you for 2 or 3 points of feedback? I'm always looking to improve, and if you could send me 2 or 3 areas I could improve on when interviewing, I would be extremely grateful.

I personally wouldn't probably call back or text them if that is how you have been communicating. It just feels too intrusive. If they call you and tell you, at that time, you could ask something similar: "Thank you for letting me know. Could I ask for your honest feedback? Your family is exactly the type I would like to work for, so I'd really value your input - what could I do better during the interviewing process?"

[Anonymous]

I would never ask. Chances are you will not get an honest answer so there isn't much point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watts the best way to get ask how come I wasn't hired? I thought I did pretty well.

Forget what pp said. If this is a one time off thing, don't ask. If this is happening several times, I think it's best to ask. Do you not say " why didn't I get the job". Ask more in a way like " May I ask why you did not think I was the best fit for the job? I enjoy hearing feedback and constructive criticism in order to improve my skills." I used to say that back in the day and 9 out of 10 people would respond. Most are BS responses but some do try and help with honest assessments. I'm employed now but I have great success at getting jobs - usually multiple offers at a time. It never hurts to ask!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Watts the best way to get ask how come I wasn't hired? I thought I did pretty well.

Forget what pp said. If this is a one time off thing, don't ask. If this is happening several times, I think it's best to ask. Do you not say " why didn't I get the job". Ask more in a way like " May I ask why you did not think I was the best fit for the job? I enjoy hearing feedback and constructive criticism in order to improve my skills." I used to say that back in the day and 9 out of 10 people would respond. Most are BS responses but some do try and help with honest assessments. I'm employed now but I have great success at getting jobs - usually multiple offers at a time. It never hurts to ask!

I will add that I went from asking something to that effect, and now have parents calling me for advice on what to look for, what to offer, etc. I've had 4 parents in the last month ask about this. It's generally people I've turned an offer down with, or a family I canceled on due to me accepting an offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you are wise to ask why you aren't getting hired if you are not getting hired more than a few times.

You have to do it in a way that conveys a desire to improve and not wanting to take up a lot of the MB/DB's time.

Ideal is email, in my opinion. How did they notify you you didn't get the job?

Email: "Thank you for letting me know. I really enjoyed interviewing, and you are exactly the type of family I would like to nanny for. Because of that, could I ask you for 2 or 3 points of feedback? I'm always looking to improve, and if you could send me 2 or 3 areas I could improve on when interviewing, I would be extremely grateful.

I personally wouldn't probably call back or text them if that is how you have been communicating. It just feels too intrusive. If they call you and tell you, at that time, you could ask something similar: "Thank you for letting me know. Could I ask for your honest feedback? Your family is exactly the type I would like to work for, so I'd really value your input - what could I do better during the interviewing process?"

I'm an MB (and also someone who hires a lot in my day job) and I would absolutely respect someone asking me this. The advice here is great. Just come up w/ some wording that feels like you and follow this general tone and approach. I totally agree w/ doing it by email also.

You may not get anything useful back but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I asked once years ago when I was young and naive. The lady ripped me a new ass hole. She must have literally hated me. In the interview I asked about her children's activities and where they were located so I could get a feel for driving distance each day. Her response in the email back after I asked why I didn't get the job was " she was so offended I would ask a question like that and how dare I ever question Her . She then went on to mention how if she is paying me I will do as I'm told, even if it means to lick the floors clean " I was shocked to say the least and by the end of the email crying but thanking my lucky stars I didn't get it. Can you imagine an employer asking you to lick the floor ? I'm guessing she was joking but it really hurt my feelings.

[Anonymous]

I would ask the parents who maybe brought you in for a second interview and who seemed open and nice. It might not be anything you can change (they wanted a Spanish speaker, other candidate was former teacher, your Muslim faith meant they thought you'd ask for weird holidays off?, your grammar is terrible?) but maybe it is (first aid certification, had no ready ideas for age appropriate activities, you look out of shape and not able to chase a young child who runs off)

Seems like PP dodged a bullet with the lick the floor clean lady. Ugh!

[Anonymous]

I've asked this question before during a dry spell. It never actually helped though; every time they just said they found someone who was a better fit. Although that may have been true on some level I felt they were trying to be nice and spare my feelings, and yes it was awkward to ask. I'd consider some other things like: making sure your resume is as good as it can be, and maybe even asking former Nanny families for their advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked once years ago when I was young and naive. The lady ripped me a new ass hole. She must have literally hated me. In the interview I asked about her children's activities and where they were located so I could get a feel for driving distance each day. Her response in the email back after I asked why I didn't get the job was " she was so offended I would ask a question like that and how dare I ever question Her . She then went on to mention how if she is paying me I will do as I'm told, even if it means to lick the floors clean " I was shocked to say the least and by the end of the email crying but thanking my lucky stars I didn't get it. Can you imagine an employer asking you to lick the floor ? I'm guessing she was joking but it really hurt my feelings.

This woman is horrendous. Most people do not act like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've asked this question before during a dry spell. It never actually helped though; every time they just said they found someone who was a better fit. Although that may have been true on some level I felt they were trying to be nice and spare my feelings, and yes it was awkward to ask. I'd consider some other things like: making sure your resume is as good as it can be, and maybe even asking former Nanny families for their advice?

This is the recommended response to inquiries for any job.

[Anonymous]

You can always send a brief e-mail to the family that you interviewed with + let them know that you are disappointed in not securing the position, yet would like some input perhaps on why you weren't chosen.

Let them know any feedback would be great to make your job search much easier.

They may or may not respond. But you have nothing to lose if you ask them.

So sorry you didn't get this position, but keep your chin up.

Your dream job is right around the corner OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Watts the best way to get ask how come I wasn't hired? I thought I did pretty well.

Forget what pp said. If this is a one time off thing, don't ask. If this is happening several times, I think it's best to ask. Do you not say " why didn't I get the job". Ask more in a way like " May I ask why you did not think I was the best fit for the job? I enjoy hearing feedback and constructive criticism in order to improve my skills." I used to say that back in the day and 9 out of 10 people would respond. Most are BS responses but some do try and help with honest assessments. I'm employed now but I have great success at getting jobs - usually multiple offers at a time. It never hurts to ask!

Getting interview tips doesn't improve your skills as a nanny, it just helps you fleece the next unsuspecting MB into hiring an under qualified nanny. So why would an MB that pass on you want to help you do that?