Check up on your nanny when she takes your child out

[Anonymous]

Yesterday my charge, twenty-one-months, at I were at a play museum (lots of different stations and areas for free play). A 2.5 year old was there with a foreign nanny who was texting constantly. Her charge saw my charge and I having fun and laughing so of course the 2.5 year old wanted to join us. The problem was that this 2.5 year old refused to play with my charge and actually only wanted to play with me. He basically stalked us from one station to another. At one point, he raised his fist to my charge. Then I told his nanny to please keep him away from us and that he was too aggressive. Her poor charge was crying hysterically as she carted him off.

The sad truth is I see this all the time. Other nannies charges so ignored in the library and park that they always want to play and interact with me. I am happy to play with other children IF AND ONLY IF it benefits my own charge. It is truly heartbreaking to see these little ones trying to get my attention and approval while their nannies (in every case I have witnessed it was a foreign nanny) text or talk to each other while ignoring their charge completely.

Parents should know what their bargain-basement-nanny is doing while they are out and about. Pop in and watch them for a distance and see for yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Most of these poor women have to go back to their employers home and clean with this being their only time to get personal business done via text and have other adult contact with someone who speaks their language.

But I agree - parents should always see what their foolish economy gets them with a nanny when they cannot see them on nanny cams.

[Anonymous]

Live-in nanny here. Unless I specifically say I'm the nanny, nannies and SAHMs think I'm mom. Most of the toddlers want to play with me, most of the preschoolers want to play with my charges, and it doesn't seem to matter whether they're with a nanny or parent, the other adults seem checked out. I'm all for free play, but to me free play is done at home or at the park, and if my charge wants me to play with them, I'm going to do so. The only time I "check out" is when house manager duties mean I'm making calls at the park while my charge plays.

[Anonymous]

Or pay someone (a neighbor, a friend, etc.) to do it for you since that way they can get a "close-up" look since the foreign nanny won't know who they are.

Just kidding. Well...sorta.

Like anything in life, you get what you pay for. Perhaps these nannies are making peanuts + do not feel as if they should make a full effort to be the best caregivers they can be. Morale and pay go hand in hand w/each other...As with any other job.

[Anonymous]

I could not agree more. I cannot imagine any mother watching her child beg strangers for attention and play would think their undocumented and/or foreign nanny was a good investment in their child's future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday my charge, twenty-one-months, at I were at a play museum (lots of different stations and areas for free play). A 2.5 year old was there with a foreign nanny who was texting constantly. Her charge saw my charge and I having fun and laughing so of course the 2.5 year old wanted to join us. The problem was that this 2.5 year old refused to play with my charge and actually only wanted to play with me. He basically stalked us from one station to another. At one point, he raised his fist to my charge. Then I told his nanny to please keep him away from us and that he was too aggressive. Her poor charge was crying hysterically as she carted him off.

The sad truth is I see this all the time. Other nannies charges so ignored in the library and park that they always want to play and interact with me. I am happy to play with other children IF AND ONLY IF it benefits my own charge. It is truly heartbreaking to see these little ones trying to get my attention and approval while their nannies (in every case I have witnessed it was a foreign nanny) text or talk to each other while ignoring their charge completely.

Parents should know what their bargain-basement-nanny is doing while they are out and about. Pop in and watch them for a distance and see for yourselves.

I, as a nanny, experience this same thing every day. While I feel so sorry for the lonely little kid looking for attention and someone to play with, if playing with that lost little kid doesn't help my charge I simply cannot do it. It is heartbreaking and all parents should absolutely check up on their nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of these poor women have to go back to their employers home and clean with this being their only time to get personal business done via text and have other adult contact with someone who speaks their language.

But I agree - parents should always see what their foolish economy gets them with a nanny when they cannot see them on nanny cams.

This sounds like a case in an inept nanny. I too have seen those at playseum, parks, etc. and it's sad. However, I've seen it in young, blind au pairs who speak perfect English, in dads glued to their iPhones, Wellesley grad summer care calling and texting their friends 24/7, and Caribbean, Filipino, Hispanic nannies as well. Likewise I have seen highly engaged, loving caretakers from each of those categories as well.

Nothing to do about what they look like or if I speculate that they "clean houses," and everything to do with if they are indeed good at their nanny job. Btw, the giggle at correlation I see with the more neglectful nannies is that they are younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these poor women have to go back to their employers home and clean with this being their only time to get personal business done via text and have other adult contact with someone who speaks their language.

But I agree - parents should always see what their foolish economy gets them with a nanny when they cannot see them on nanny cams.

This sounds like a case in an inept nanny. I too have seen those at playseum, parks, etc. and it's sad. However, I've seen it in young, blind au pairs who speak perfect English, in dads glued to their iPhones, Wellesley grad summer care calling and texting their friends 24/7, and Caribbean, Filipino, Hispanic nannies as well. Likewise I have seen highly engaged, loving caretakers from each of those categories as well.

Nothing to do about what they look like or if I speculate that they "clean houses," and everything to do with if they are indeed good at their nanny job. Btw, the giggle at correlation I see with the more neglectful nannies is that they are younger.

Do people actually hire blind au pairs?!

[Anonymous]

You do get what you pay for. A college educated woman who chose being a nanny as her career is very different than a foreign woman working illegally or a confused girl who doesn't know what she wants.


And an au pair is NOT a nanny.


Parents need to know what their child is not getting from his/her nanny when they are out of the home.

[Anonymous]

The "custodial care" model has become an acceptable child care option, even among high-income families. So sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do get what you pay for. A college educated woman who chose being a nanny as her career is very different than a foreign woman working illegally or a confused girl who doesn't know what she wants.


And an au pair is NOT a nanny.


Parents need to know what their child is not getting from his/her nanny when they are out of the home.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I've had this same scenario (sad neglected child following me and my charge around doggedly at playground, park, and so forth) happen many times. However, 90% of the time this has happened, the child was in the care of their grandparents who were clearly just not physically up to the job of playing with their grand kids. It's yet another reason why I advise parents to seriously consider the physical condition of their parents before relying on them for regular childcare.

[Anonymous]

Oh shut up! Don't act like only nannies look at their phones constantly. Moms do it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "custodial care" model has become an acceptable child care option, even among high-income families. So sad.

Agree. Only Dcum nannies are good nannies. Everyone else, so sad.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM but I see OP's point as well. The foreign nannies are always texting in the corner while their kids are desperate for any adults' attention. It is sad for the poor children and I am sure the parents have no idea how much their child is being ignored in public places.