Do you think less of parents who hire non-English speaking nannies?

[Anonymous]

I am sorry to admit but I do. I liked this one mother who I met in kiddie gym class very much until yesterday when she brought their nanny with them. This nanny could not answer my simple questions such as the child's name or how long she has been with this family. I suddenly found myself disliking this mother. The nanny was Spanish-speaking and the family is not. I assume the nanny is undocumented -- and of course I might be wrong in that assumption but it still made me dislike the mother. I immediately cancelled a planned play-date with this mother citing a schedule conflict. We will not be friends.

I am a SAHM and have a very close legal, educated and American friend who is a nanny so maybe I am biased. I don't know. I was just wondering if other mothers and nannies feel this way.

[Anonymous]

In a word: yes. Although I would never tell the mother that or tell her that that was the reason we would not be friends.

I am one of the people who feels that the immigration problem would be solved if we started sending the employers of undocumented workers to jail (yes - you are breaking the law when you hire an undocumented nanny and pay her off the books).

[Anonymous]

If parents hire a nanny with whom they do not share a common language, that tells me they do not prioritize being informed about and involved in their child's life. They would be better off having their kid in a daycare than cheaping out on the nanny and not being able to communicate. Now if nanny speaks some english but isn't entirely fluent or if nanny only speaks X but one parent also speaks X, then that is totally valid. I also think it's extremely rascist and classist to bring immigration into this.

[Anonymous]

It depends. If the parents speak the nanny's language fluently, especially if one or both parents' native languages, then I don't really think anything of it. If the parents don't speak the nanny's language well or at all, I do think less of them--I can't imagine hiring a caregiver for my child with whom I could not clearly communicate.

I also think less of people who pay nannies off the books, regardless of the nanny's immigration status.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do think less of the mother. I also make the assumption, in today's world, that all foreign nannies are working illegally which I know for a fact is not true. It is just a keen-jerk assumption I make. I also jump to the conclusion that the parent is not treating the nanny well.

Sorry - you asked for my opinion. People who hire non-Americans should be aware of what other think of them whether it is right or wrong. BTW I am a Mexican-American (grandparents on both sides were Mexican) and I am dark haired with a dark complexion. However, I obviously do not speak English with anything but an American accent and actually suck at Spanish.

[Anonymous]

If I can hear the parent talking to the nanny, nope. If the child can communicate with the nanny, nope. If nobody can understand the nanny and the nanny can't understand anyone, absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a word: yes. Although I would never tell the mother that or tell her that that was the reason we would not be friends.

I am one of the people who feels that the immigration problem would be solved if we started sending the employers of undocumented workers to jail (yes - you are breaking the law when you hire an undocumented nanny and pay her off the books).

I agree. I also think this is exploiting illegals.

[Anonymous]

Wow. A tremendous amount of assumptions, bias, and prejudice here folks.

I think less of all of you immediately.

[Anonymous]

No, I think less of them if they hire nannies who do not care for the children or ignore them on the playground or have nannies looking at their phones the whole time.. There are a lot of good nannies who do not speak English but are very attentive and caring. I think the parent would obviously would like to have an English speaking nanny but maybe financial circumstances prevent from paying that much or they just haven't met someone who speaks English who is as caring and attentive that they feel comfortable with. Maybe this person who doesn't speak English came with a close friend, highly recommended and all in all, considering the pros and cons, she was the best person for the job. No, I do not think less of them, as long as the nanny was good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I think less of them if they hire nannies who do not care for the children or ignore them on the playground or have nannies looking at their phones the whole time.. There are a lot of good nannies who do not speak English but are very attentive and caring. I think the parent would obviously would like to have an English speaking nanny but maybe financial circumstances prevent from paying that much or they just haven't met someone who speaks English who is as caring and attentive that they feel comfortable with. Maybe this person who doesn't speak English came with a close friend, highly recommended and all in all, considering the pros and cons, she was the best person for the job. No, I do not think less of them, as long as the nanny was good.

Yes to all of this. And maybe the nanny, for whom english was a second language, also just happened to be the best fit in terms of experience, personality, interest, dedication, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I think less of them if they hire nannies who do not care for the children or ignore them on the playground or have nannies looking at their phones the whole time.. There are a lot of good nannies who do not speak English but are very attentive and caring. I think the parent would obviously would like to have an English speaking nanny but maybe financial circumstances prevent from paying that much or they just haven't met someone who speaks English who is as caring and attentive that they feel comfortable with. Maybe this person who doesn't speak English came with a close friend, highly recommended and all in all, considering the pros and cons, she was the best person for the job. No, I do not think less of them, as long as the nanny was good.

Yes to all of this. And maybe the nanny, for whom english was a second language, also just happened to be the best fit in terms of experience, personality, interest, dedication, etc...

And you how does one ascertain this information from a nanny with whom you cannot communicate? That is why I think it's bullshit. If you don't speak her language, and she doesn't speak yours, you and I both know there was no discussion of experience, or qualifications. She was just the best person for the job because you named some lame ass rate, and she nodded in agreement. Yes I judge you.

[Anonymous]

No. I would cancel a playdate with YOU upon finding out what a snob you are and how ignorant you are.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't think less of parents who hire a non-English speaking nanny. It really isn't my business. I also don't assume that a non-English speaking nanny is illegal.

That said, if I *do* know parents have hired an illegal nanny or is paying off the books and breaking the law, yes, I think less of them for that behavior.

[Anonymous]

Just because a nanny doesn't try to communicate with you he finer points of weather at the playground doesn't mean she could not explain her experience or find a translator for interview day. Her reference may have been glowing and explained the experience already.

[Anonymous]

We had a spanish speaking nanny for many years. Her english wasn't great, but it was plenty good enough.

She is a citizen, she had 15 years of experience, she came directly referred from a neighbor family with whom she'd worked for many years, etc...

She was terrific. We paid her legally, she made a good salary and had terrific benefits, and she was sought after when our need for her ended.

All of your assumptions about her and us would be wrong and highly offensive.