Question about playdates and nannies

[Anonymous]

So my DD has a boy in her preschool class who's mother has suggested a playdate, which I am all for except for one issue. They have a guy that cares for their son and the mom has suggested he could pick up both children. I really am uneasy about having a guy be alone with DD, so it seems my choices are either avoid the playdate all together or try to make it so our nanny picks up the kids. I am not sure how to suggest our nanny host the playdate instead without her getting the idea that I don't trust her nanny, because the situations are identical. It would be one thing if I was suggesting I myself pick the kids up, but I work and can't take time off for a playdate.

Other moms, what would you do? What could my email to you say that would make you not feel negative about me wanting to use my nanny and not yours? Help please!

[Anonymous]

How old are they?

You could always say something like-

My DD has a hard time going to someone's house for a first playdate. Any chance that we can host?

[Anonymous]

Preschool? I would always have my nanny go to any play-date and stay when they are that young - regardless of who the other nanny or parent is. Just tell the mother that your DD would not be comfortable without her nanny there seeing as she has never been to her home before.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Maybe Suggest a play date at a park ? Bring a picnic lunch then both nannies are there.

[Anonymous]

Both nannies should be present. End of story regardless of who the other nanny is and under any circumstance.

[Anonymous]

At such a young age, the only way I wouldn't be with my charge would be if another child needed to be dropped off somewhere. I prefer large families, so I always suggest the first playdate at the kids' house, the park or just after school on the playground, that way I don't have to find other arrangements for the others. The parents trust my judgement on whether the adult seems trustworthy, but until I've met the nanny and at least one of the parents, my charges don't do unsupervised playdates at friends' houses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am a nanny too and I have always gone on play dates with any charge under five or for any play date where my changes parents or I don't know the family well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are they?

You could always say something like-

My DD has a hard time going to someone's house for a first playdate. Any chance that we can host?

This is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am a nanny too and I have always gone on play dates with any charge under five or for any play date where my changes parents or I don't know the family well.

I wouldn't be against it, but I would think it really strange if a parent or nanny showed up to accompany their 4yr old to a play date at our house, especially since it has never happened. However, everyone my kids play with, I'm always familiar with the family, so nobody are strangers. When we host kids, it's often a few hours, over lunch and I feed the kids. Are the other families hosting you? Like preparing a lunch and all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am a nanny too and I have always gone on play dates with any charge under five or for any play date where my changes parents or I don't know the family well.

I wouldn't be against it, but I would think it really strange if a parent or nanny showed up to accompany their 4yr old to a play date at our house, especially since it has never happened. However, everyone my kids play with, I'm always familiar with the family, so nobody are strangers. When we host kids, it's often a few hours, over lunch and I feed the kids. Are the other families hosting you? Like preparing a lunch and all?

Yes, but I host as well and the other nanny or parent comes to my charge's house. We have had lunches and snacks at other kids homes and I always have snacks when I host. Maybe it is just our neighborhood - I don't know - but this has been my experience in the last nine years as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am a nanny too and I have always gone on play dates with any charge under five or for any play date where my changes parents or I don't know the family well.

I wouldn't be against it, but I would think it really strange if a parent or nanny showed up to accompany their 4yr old to a play date at our house, especially since it has never happened. However, everyone my kids play with, I'm always familiar with the family, so nobody are strangers. When we host kids, it's often a few hours, over lunch and I feed the kids. Are the other families hosting you? Like preparing a lunch and all?

Yes, but I host as well and the other nanny or parent comes to my charge's house. We have had lunches and snacks at other kids homes and I always have snacks when I host. Maybe it is just our neighborhood - I don't know - but this has been my experience in the last nine years as a nanny.

My NF seems to always have food issues, either allergies or the parent is very rigid with their preferences, so we don't do food at other houses, nor do we provide food at ours. We never have an issue, as I make sure the families know why and make it clear that we will bring snack and the family is encouraged to join us for snack with food they bring.

[Anonymous]

I am not a nanny but would expect my child's nanny to accompany them on any play date. Among other things, it doesn't seem fair to the nanny hosting the play date to suddenly have twice as much work caring for an extra child. Sure, maybe the kids entertain each other, but they have to keep track of two children now.

[Anonymous]

I love how everyone is glossing over the obvious bigotry here. OP isn't saying she has a problem with the nanny not accompanying her kid, she is uncomfortable because the other caregiver is a man. Because, of course, all men are predators just waiting for their chance to be alone with a young girl.
I really feel bad for the DCU daddies.