Question about playdates and nannies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are they?

You could always say something like-

My DD has a hard time going to someone's house for a first playdate. Any chance that we can host?

This is perfect.

No it isn't. It's lying. If you can handle the situation without lying, why do so? Just say, at this age we would like our nanny to accompany our child to playdates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

You probably know the families of these boys well so feel comfortable dropping him off. In this case, the mom doesn't know them too well so perhaps after they have a better relationship, they can drop off. For now, they need a supervised playdate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how everyone is glossing over the obvious bigotry here. OP isn't saying she has a problem with the nanny not accompanying her kid, she is uncomfortable because the other caregiver is a man. Because, of course, all men are predators just waiting for their chance to be alone with a young girl.
I really feel bad for the DCU daddies.

Statistically more men than women abuse children. I'm not going to risk my child and/or charge. It's the whole 'not all men are menaces, but all women have been menaced by men' schtick all over again.

To OP, tell the family you'd like your nanny to accompany your daughter as she gets a bit shy around strangers, or use the other suggestion to host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how everyone is glossing over the obvious bigotry here. OP isn't saying she has a problem with the nanny not accompanying her kid, she is uncomfortable because the other caregiver is a man. Because, of course, all men are predators just waiting for their chance to be alone with a young girl.
I really feel bad for the DCU daddies.

Statistically more men than women abuse children. I'm not going to risk my child and/or charge. It's the whole 'not all men are menaces, but all women have been menaced by men' schtick all over again.

To OP, tell the family you'd like your nanny to accompany your daughter as she gets a bit shy around strangers, or use the other suggestion to host.

LOL even if this is true, it'd be like 1.5% of woman have abused a child, totally ok to trust women, and 1.6% of men have abused a child, MORE MEN THAN WOMEN OMG CAN'T TRUST A MAN.

You really are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how everyone is glossing over the obvious bigotry here. OP isn't saying she has a problem with the nanny not accompanying her kid, she is uncomfortable because the other caregiver is a man. Because, of course, all men are predators just waiting for their chance to be alone with a young girl.
I really feel bad for the DCU daddies.

Statistically more men than women abuse children. I'm not going to risk my child and/or charge. It's the whole 'not all men are menaces, but all women have been menaced by men' schtick all over again.

To OP, tell the family you'd like your nanny to accompany your daughter as she gets a bit shy around strangers, or use the other suggestion to host.

LOL even if this is true, it'd be like 1.5% of woman have abused a child, totally ok to trust women, and 1.6% of men have abused a child, MORE MEN THAN WOMEN OMG CAN'T TRUST A MAN.

You really are ridiculous.

You would be unpleasantly surprised to learn just how many more children are abused.

For stats on male/female abusers kindly have a look at this website and educate yourself: http://www.thelizlibrary.org/site-index/site-index-frame.html#soulhttp://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/statistics.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how everyone is glossing over the obvious bigotry here. OP isn't saying she has a problem with the nanny not accompanying her kid, she is uncomfortable because the other caregiver is a man. Because, of course, all men are predators just waiting for their chance to be alone with a young girl.
I really feel bad for the DCU daddies.

Statistically more men than women abuse children. I'm not going to risk my child and/or charge. It's the whole 'not all men are menaces, but all women have been menaced by men' schtick all over again.

To OP, tell the family you'd like your nanny to accompany your daughter as she gets a bit shy around strangers, or use the other suggestion to host.

LOL even if this is true, it'd be like 1.5% of woman have abused a child, totally ok to trust women, and 1.6% of men have abused a child, MORE MEN THAN WOMEN OMG CAN'T TRUST A MAN.

You really are ridiculous.

You would be unpleasantly surprised to learn just how many more children are abused.

For stats on male/female abusers kindly have a look at this website and educate yourself: http://www.thelizlibrary.org/site-index/site-index-frame.html#soulhttp://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/statistics.html

I work with the child victims of abuse on a daily basis. I literally see them hours, sometimes minutes, after the abuse has taken place. I see firsthand the damage that is done and don't need a website to spew some facts at me.
I would still NEVER judge a caregiver based solely on their gender. If you don't have a good sense of someone, that is one thing, if you are just making your decision based on some very poor/juvenile logic, you have deeper issues than can be hashed out on an internet forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how everyone is glossing over the obvious bigotry here. OP isn't saying she has a problem with the nanny not accompanying her kid, she is uncomfortable because the other caregiver is a man. Because, of course, all men are predators just waiting for their chance to be alone with a young girl.
I really feel bad for the DCU daddies.

Statistically more men than women abuse children. I'm not going to risk my child and/or charge. It's the whole 'not all men are menaces, but all women have been menaced by men' schtick all over again.

To OP, tell the family you'd like your nanny to accompany your daughter as she gets a bit shy around strangers, or use the other suggestion to host.

LOL even if this is true, it'd be like 1.5% of woman have abused a child, totally ok to trust women, and 1.6% of men have abused a child, MORE MEN THAN WOMEN OMG CAN'T TRUST A MAN.

You really are ridiculous.

You would be unpleasantly surprised to learn just how many more children are abused.

For stats on male/female abusers kindly have a look at this website and educate yourself: http://www.thelizlibrary.org/site-index/site-index-frame.html#soulhttp://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/statistics.html

I work with the child victims of abuse on a daily basis. I literally see them hours, sometimes minutes, after the abuse has taken place. I see firsthand the damage that is done and don't need a website to spew some facts at me.
I would still NEVER judge a caregiver based solely on their gender. If you don't have a good sense of someone, that is one thing, if you are just making your decision based on some very poor/juvenile logic, you have deeper issues than can be hashed out on an internet forum.

Oh come on, "The Liz Library" sounds like a totally legit source. I mean it even has a fact vs myth section! If that ain't proof idk what is

[Anonymous]

I would say that you think it's a good idea for both nannies to be there for the first couple of playdates. Then see how things go and what the nanny thinks of the friend's nanny.

I know you can't change how you feel, but honestly, you're being totally prejudiced toward this guy. The only reason you seem to feel uncomfortable is because he's a guy. Would you allow a female nanny to be with the children? I don't see why there's any reason to worry about it. Presumably, the nanny is a professional just like yours and a trustworthy person to be with the other child. I think it's wonderful for children to have experiences with male teachers and caregivers like this.

Approach this and any situation where your child will be alone with a new caregiver slowly and by having yourself or your nanny involved the first few times, but try to open up your mind to this sort of situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am a nanny too and I have always gone on play dates with any charge under five or for any play date where my changes parents or I don't know the family well.

I wouldn't be against it, but I would think it really strange if a parent or nanny showed up to accompany their 4yr old to a play date at our house, especially since it has never happened. However, everyone my kids play with, I'm always familiar with the family, so nobody are strangers. When we host kids, it's often a few hours, over lunch and I feed the kids. Are the other families hosting you? Like preparing a lunch and all?

Yes, but I host as well and the other nanny or parent comes to my charge's house. We have had lunches and snacks at other kids homes and I always have snacks when I host. Maybe it is just our neighborhood - I don't know - but this has been my experience in the last nine years as a nanny.

My NF seems to always have food issues, either allergies or the parent is very rigid with their preferences, so we don't do food at other houses, nor do we provide food at ours. We never have an issue, as I make sure the families know why and make it clear that we will bring snack and the family is encouraged to join us for snack with food they bring.

That is completely odd not to offer a child a snack or meal if meal time if they are at your home. I cannot imagine not offering food. Its ok about the food allergies in someone else's house but not to offer food is rude. I'd bring food as requested but I would not return again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am a nanny too and I have always gone on play dates with any charge under five or for any play date where my changes parents or I don't know the family well.

I wouldn't be against it, but I would think it really strange if a parent or nanny showed up to accompany their 4yr old to a play date at our house, especially since it has never happened. However, everyone my kids play with, I'm always familiar with the family, so nobody are strangers. When we host kids, it's often a few hours, over lunch and I feed the kids. Are the other families hosting you? Like preparing a lunch and all?

We seem to have playdates with families that either eat junk or have food issues of their own. We no longer offer snacks or meals because the other families' children couldn't or wouldn't eat what was provided.

Yes, but I host as well and the other nanny or parent comes to my charge's house. We have had lunches and snacks at other kids homes and I always have snacks when I host. Maybe it is just our neighborhood - I don't know - but this has been my experience in the last nine years as a nanny.

My NF seems to always have food issues, either allergies or the parent is very rigid with their preferences, so we don't do food at other houses, nor do we provide food at ours. We never have an issue, as I make sure the families know why and make it clear that we will bring snack and the family is encouraged to join us for snack with food they bring.

That is completely odd not to offer a child a snack or meal if meal time if they are at your home. I cannot imagine not offering food. Its ok about the food allergies in someone else's house but not to offer food is rude. I'd bring food as requested but I would not return again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and I always accompany my four-year-old charge to play dates. Preschool is to young for drop-off play dates, IMO.

Really??

My son is in preschool and is quite social. He has regular play dates with 4 other boys and never once has a parent or CCP accompanied their kid to our house.

That was my same experience with my older child as well when he was in preschool.

Different strokes, I suppose. I am a nanny too and I have always gone on play dates with any charge under five or for any play date where my changes parents or I don't know the family well.

I wouldn't be against it, but I would think it really strange if a parent or nanny showed up to accompany their 4yr old to a play date at our house, especially since it has never happened. However, everyone my kids play with, I'm always familiar with the family, so nobody are strangers. When we host kids, it's often a few hours, over lunch and I feed the kids. Are the other families hosting you? Like preparing a lunch and all?

We seem to have playdates with families that either eat junk or have food issues of their own. We no longer offer snacks or meals because the other families' children couldn't or wouldn't eat what was provided.

Yes, but I host as well and the other nanny or parent comes to my charge's house. We have had lunches and snacks at other kids homes and I always have snacks when I host. Maybe it is just our neighborhood - I don't know - but this has been my experience in the last nine years as a nanny.

My NF seems to always have food issues, either allergies or the parent is very rigid with their preferences, so we don't do food at other houses, nor do we provide food at ours. We never have an issue, as I make sure the families know why and make it clear that we will bring snack and the family is encouraged to join us for snack with food they bring.

That is completely odd not to offer a child a snack or meal if meal time if they are at your home. I cannot imagine not offering food. Its ok about the food allergies in someone else's house but not to offer food is rude. I'd bring food as requested but I would not return again.

We seem to have playdates with families that either eat junk or have food issues of their own. We no longer offer snacks or meals because the other families' children couldn't or wouldn't eat what was provided.