When to talk money?

[Anonymous]

Hi nannies,

I'm currently searching for a new job, and I'm unsure of how to approach phone interviews with families. It seems to cause discomfort if I bring up weekly rates/they seem to want to have me come meet the kids first and it's just taxing! I don't want to give every family I talk to my references and don't want to meet with every family if their expectations don't meet up with mine. I simply don't have the time!

[Anonymous]

Have a list of questions ready that help you get at this issue.

How you approach it might vary depending on the approach/professionalism/experience of the people you're talking to.

"Can you tell me about the salary range and benefits package you're offering?"

That will get the conversation started. Be ready to have your own rate range and desired benefits ready to talk about. Leave yourself some wiggle room for negotiating (maybe you'd be flexible on vacation time for a family offering a higher hourly rate for instance).

[Anonymous]

MB here - it definitely makes sense to bring up compensation in a phone interview before meeting the family, but I have found it very off putting with a couple of phone interviews when it's the first question out of the nanny's mouth even before I can provide information about us and what we're looking for. I know that $ is very important, but as someone who offers a very generous package and has only had a couple of nannies in 7 years I can tell you that I'd be looking for a candidate who is professional and asks intelligent questions about what the job will involve. If you ask about money before I've even had a chance to go over anything about the job, then you're probably not the one for me.

[Anonymous]

I tend to state my range in my initial contact if the ad doesn't state a range. I used to go on lots of interviews, wasting so much time on folks not offering realistic compensation. If someone wants to rule me out because I have the audacity to talk about money so be it. In your position, I think it would actually be a bit of a red flag to me if a potential employer fails to mention a rate in their ad, emails, AND during the phone interview?? Clearly this person does not respect the fact that this is a job like any other and that those details are important.

[Anonymous]

Never go on an interview and absolutely never give out your references before you know if you are interested in the job. Knowing the salary is a key component in knowing if you are interested. I always ask about the job specifics first. Towards the end of the interview I simply state what is the salary ? Then I ask about vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here - it definitely makes sense to bring up compensation in a phone interview before meeting the family, but I have found it very off putting with a couple of phone interviews when it's the first question out of the nanny's mouth even before I can provide information about us and what we're looking for. I know that $ is very important, but as someone who offers a very generous package and has only had a couple of nannies in 7 years I can tell you that I'd be looking for a candidate who is professional and asks intelligent questions about what the job will involve. If you ask about money before I've even had a chance to go over anything about the job, then you're probably not the one for me.

If you are not willing or expected to pay what the nannies are looking for then it will be a waste of time talking in the phone.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya OP.

While I have had some families tell me that rate will be discussed at the interview, I always let them know that I need to discuss it prior to our meeting in person. If they do not like it, then that is a huge sign that we are not a good match from the get-go.

It is selfish for a family to expect you to take the time and spend the gas driving all over town when you don't even know if they can afford you or not. I live in CA where gas is around 4 bucks a gallon so I cannot afford to drive anywhere on a whim.

Also, references are to be given after a personal meeting as not to exhaust them. Your references are usually working parents of young children so their time is pretty occupied. For them to speak to complete strangers that you have never even met, much less online...That would make zero sense.

Stick to your guns and do not let any family make you feel guilty over this.

[Anonymous]

I do the phone interview and do not mention my rate until I am asked during the in-person interview and I never give it on the phone. I am higher paid than most nannies but I never mention my rate or give my references until I am fairly sure during the in person interview that I will accept the job if offered (and the job has always been offered).

I have been using care.com where the salary range is usually quoted in the ad so the parents know the ballpark. I want them to meet me and be impressed before I spring my rate on them! And withholding my rate also gives me an out if I decide during the interview that I don't like them (hasn't happened yet) and will quote a higher rate than advertised.

[Anonymous]

I would never hire a nanny who found it taxing to meet my kids. I also would never hire a nanny who wanted to talk money before meeting my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire a nanny who found it taxing to meet my kids. I also would never hire a nanny who wanted to talk money before meeting my kids.

It's not about your kids. As a nanny I personally don't want to meet anyone's kids before I start a job. I will if asked of course but only after we have decided on a salary. I'm not going to your house to " meet" / work for 1-5 hours For free to find out you pay $3 per hr

It's so annoying when families what me to meet and get to know the kids. then they leave to go to the grocery store to give you time to get to know the kids. They come back hours later and I just got played because they don't even want to pay minimum wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire a nanny who found it taxing to meet my kids. I also would never hire a nanny who wanted to talk money before meeting my kids.

It's not about your kids. As a nanny I personally don't want to meet anyone's kids before I start a job. I will if asked of course but only after we have decided on a salary. I'm not going to your house to " meet" / work for 1-5 hours For free to find out you pay $3 per hr

It's so annoying when families what me to meet and get to know the kids. then they leave to go to the grocery store to give you time to get to know the kids. They come back hours later and I just got played because they don't even want to pay minimum wage.

Exactly.

I ask a set of questions within the 1st 10 minutes of a phone interview: on/off books, allergies/serious conditions, type of schooling, discipline, expectations that don't fall under nanny's purview, salary, contract. These are all dealbreakers if I get certain answers. I don't work under the table. I have a minimum salary per week, and what I expect from a family depends on the number of hours and number/age of the children. If I'm doing anything that's not typical for a nanny, I WILL be paid extra for it or I won't be doing it. I don't believe that saying no to a child will scar them for life, nor do I think picking a toddler up to remove them from a situation is abuse; on the other hand, I will not hit or otherwise hurt a child. I will not work with a family that values screen time more than homework, nor will I work with a family that has children doing schoolwork 6+ hours a day, every day, every week. Finally, special needs costs more, the parents will make sure that the children see a doctor in a timely manner if there's an incident, and I will be trained in every technique that *might* be required, whether the parent thinks it's likely to be needed or not. I am willing to put off signing a contract until the last day of the trial period, with the understanding that we will actively be negotiating the contract during that time, but I require a contract signed before I'm locked into the position. Every single one of those is a dealbreaker for me due to past experience.

And fyi, I've only met only family before I started working for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do the phone interview and do not mention my rate until I am asked during the in-person interview and I never give it on the phone. I am higher paid than most nannies but I never mention my rate or give my references until I am fairly sure during the in person interview that I will accept the job if offered (and the job has always been offered).

I have been using care.com where the salary range is usually quoted in the ad so the parents know the ballpark. I want them to meet me and be impressed before I spring my rate on them! And withholding my rate also gives me an out if I decide during the interview that I don't like them (hasn't happened yet) and will quote a higher rate than advertised.

Hmm....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire a nanny who found it taxing to meet my kids. I also would never hire a nanny who wanted to talk money before meeting my kids.

It's not "taxing" to meet kids, but it IS time consuming to go to multiple interviews all over town only to find out the family expects me to run their entire household, work 55+ hours a week, and is planning on paying $12.50 an hour. Sorry, but my time is more valuable than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire a nanny who found it taxing to meet my kids. I also would never hire a nanny who wanted to talk money before meeting my kids.

It's not "taxing" to meet kids, but it IS time consuming to go to multiple interviews all over town only to find out the family expects me to run their entire household, work 55+ hours a week, and is planning on paying $12.50 an hour. Sorry, but my time is more valuable than that.

Exactly. Parent entitlement is tiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire a nanny who found it taxing to meet my kids. I also would never hire a nanny who wanted to talk money before meeting my kids.

It's not "taxing" to meet kids, but it IS time consuming to go to multiple interviews all over town only to find out the family expects me to run their entire household, work 55+ hours a week, and is planning on paying $12.50 an hour. Sorry, but my time is more valuable than that.

OP called it taxing. I can understand not wanting to go to multiple interviews and drive all over town for a job you won't take, but I suspect that you can ask things about responsibilities and time and such in a phone interview. I would even share a salary range and other requirements I am seeking in a nanny (CPR, vaccinations, etc), but there is no way I would hire a nanny without seeing how she interacts with my kids. That's just irresponsible. The most important connection in the nanny relationship is the one with the kids. Frankly, I'm surprised the nannies on this thread don't find that to be critical enough to meet the family before taking a job.

A PP did mention being left alone with the kids or being asked to spend 1-5 hours with the kids. That, to me, isn't meeting the kids...that's a trial day, which, of course, is ridiculous before an offer is made. It is also ridiculous to expect any nanny candidate to spend hours with the kids unpaid. But if a nanny candidate is unwilling to meet the kids and leads off a phone interview with what she expects her pay to be, that is a huge red flag to me and I would take her off my list.