MB complains about how hard it is for her on weekends...

[Anonymous]

... when she and DB take care of their toddler. There are two of them.


And yet MB never once says that my job of caring for her child alone for 11 hours a day, five days a week, is hard or even challenging/tiring. And she doesn't do any of her child's laundry, cook for him, or clean his room like I I do.

I love my charge and I love being a nanny but I am really getting tired of MB's whining every Monday about how exhausting her weekend with her child was.

[Anonymous]

Just agree and say yes yes (without sounding snarky) and take the kids to the park or something.

[Anonymous]

My SIL does this - it is always "poor me" on weekends with her husband and one child but her nanny never does enough (according to her). If it helps at all, we are all sick of SIL's whining and most of the family avoids her.

I KNOW how hard our nanny works because of my weekends with the kids. Not all MBs are like your MB or my SIL - but too many are.

[Anonymous]

In all honesty, for people who are good with kids naturally, it is MUCH easier. I have little moments of panic at being alone with my kids, because it's not natural for me. I'm not a maternal person and don't think all kids are adorable. It IS mentally exhausting to me.

This is something that comes easier to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In all honesty, for people who are good with kids naturally, it is MUCH easier. I have little moments of panic at being alone with my kids, because it's not natural for me. I'm not a maternal person and don't think all kids are adorable. It IS mentally exhausting to me.

This is something that comes easier to you.

Not OP but I agree with you. HOWEVER, that does not preclude you from telling your nanny what a great job she is doing or showing her appreciation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all honesty, for people who are good with kids naturally, it is MUCH easier. I have little moments of panic at being alone with my kids, because it's not natural for me. I'm not a maternal person and don't think all kids are adorable. It IS mentally exhausting to me.

This is something that comes easier to you.

Not OP but I agree with you. HOWEVER, that does not preclude you from telling your nanny what a great job she is doing or showing her appreciation.

And "easier" is not easy. Caring for a child is physical and exhausting -- and her body is the same as yours.

Just remember to show appreciation for your nanny.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I'm a nanny, and I get this sentiment. After a 60 hour workweek I love coming home to absolute silence in my apartment and a glass of wine. I also love doing whatever I want on the weekends, even if it's not getting out of bed til noon. I really feel for my MB, who works 55 hours a week and then comes home to take care of her two kids and then spend the entire weekend with them. I know she isn't a natural with children, so it is completely and understandably tough on her!

Now, that's absolutely no reason not to show your nanny appreciation, but maybe she feels like you get it since your with her DC all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. I'm a nanny, and I get this sentiment. After a 60 hour workweek I love coming home to absolute silence in my apartment and a glass of wine. I also love doing whatever I want on the weekends, even if it's not getting out of bed til noon. I really feel for my MB, who works 55 hours a week and then comes home to take care of her two kids and then spend the entire weekend with them. I know she isn't a natural with children, so it is completely and understandably tough on her!

Now, that's absolutely no reason not to show your nanny appreciation, but maybe she feels like you get it since your with her DC all day.

I'm so sure you are a nanny...

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom and can tell you that when I have a day to focus solely on my kids it feels entirely different than when I have to focus on my kids, plus errands, plus other household management, plus being a decent spouse, plus thinking about which bills to pay...you get the idea. I think you're underestimating the value of being able to focus on one job at a time. When I'm home with my kids on the weekend my attention is divided by many more jobs other than just my kids. I don't sit down during the weekends. My nanny sits down for a couple of hours each day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. I'm a nanny, and I get this sentiment. After a 60 hour workweek I love coming home to absolute silence in my apartment and a glass of wine. I also love doing whatever I want on the weekends, even if it's not getting out of bed til noon. I really feel for my MB, who works 55 hours a week and then comes home to take care of her two kids and then spend the entire weekend with them. I know she isn't a natural with children, so it is completely and understandably tough on her!

Now, that's absolutely no reason not to show your nanny appreciation, but maybe she feels like you get it since your with her DC all day.

I'm so sure you are a nanny...

I am sure she is a nanny. I don't understand why you would doubt her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mom and can tell you that when I have a day to focus solely on my kids it feels entirely different than when I have to focus on my kids, plus errands, plus other household management, plus being a decent spouse, plus thinking about which bills to pay...you get the idea. I think you're underestimating the value of being able to focus on one job at a time. When I'm home with my kids on the weekend my attention is divided by many more jobs other than just my kids. I don't sit down during the weekends. My nanny sits down for a couple of hours each day.

Not OP but another nanny and I don't sit down all day either.

Don't you have a husband to help you on weekends? I am alone with my charges all day long and do have their laundry and cooking to attend to as well as their errands. I nanny for a newborn and a 3.5 year old - I don't generally get a lot of time to focus on one thing at a time either. So I am doing basically what you are doing but without the help of my husband or any second adult.

Plus they are YOUR KIDS.

OP wasn't even complaining about her work - just her MBs whining as if she, the MB, has is so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. I'm a nanny, and I get this sentiment. After a 60 hour workweek I love coming home to absolute silence in my apartment and a glass of wine. I also love doing whatever I want on the weekends, even if it's not getting out of bed til noon. I really feel for my MB, who works 55 hours a week and then comes home to take care of her two kids and then spend the entire weekend with them. I know she isn't a natural with children, so it is completely and understandably tough on her!

Now, that's absolutely no reason not to show your nanny appreciation, but maybe she feels like you get it since your with her DC all day.

OP here and our situations are different in that it sounds like you are working for a single mother - I am not. My MB has her husband with her and helping her all weekend long.

I just wish that just once my MB would say that she understands how demanding my job is or even a simple "I know how hard you work and I appreciate it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. I'm a nanny, and I get this sentiment. After a 60 hour workweek I love coming home to absolute silence in my apartment and a glass of wine. I also love doing whatever I want on the weekends, even if it's not getting out of bed til noon. I really feel for my MB, who works 55 hours a week and then comes home to take care of her two kids and then spend the entire weekend with them. I know she isn't a natural with children, so it is completely and understandably tough on her!

Now, that's absolutely no reason not to show your nanny appreciation, but maybe she feels like you get it since your with her DC all day.

OP here and our situations are different in that it sounds like you are working for a single mother - I am not. My MB has her husband with her and helping her all weekend long.

I just wish that just once my MB would say that she understands how demanding my job is or even a simple "I know how hard you work and I appreciate it".

no, I have both an MB and a DB. and if somebody wants to roll their eyes at me saying I'm a nanny, fine. OP, I understand where you're coming from. sometimes I feel under-appreciated and it sucks big time, especially considering how much of myself I put into my job. I wasn't saying you're wrong and I even stated that it isn't right when parents don't act appreciative, I'm just saying I can understand how it would be exhausting for the parents to work all week and be "on" with their kids in the evenings and weekends. I appreciate how hard it must be for the parents never to have down time or time to themselves just as they (for the most part) appreciate how I give my all during my work hours and need to recharge my batteries. it doesn't need to be a competition of whose life is tougher. we all work together and we're all tired at the end of the day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mom and can tell you that when I have a day to focus solely on my kids it feels entirely different than when I have to focus on my kids, plus errands, plus other household management, plus being a decent spouse, plus thinking about which bills to pay...you get the idea. I think you're underestimating the value of being able to focus on one job at a time. When I'm home with my kids on the weekend my attention is divided by many more jobs other than just my kids. I don't sit down during the weekends. My nanny sits down for a couple of hours each day.

I care for 18 month old old triplets 55-60 hours a week (schedule changes slightly week to week depending on travel for MB and DB). I hardly ever get to sit down during the day and many days I eat lunch on the go. We have classes and other activities most mornings so we are gone. When we come home we have lunch and they go down for a nap. While they nap I'm cleaning up any messes that might have been made from lunch or other activities, doing laundry, cooking food, prepping their plates for dinner, menu planning for the week, replenishing the diaper bag with things we used from the outing, getting a snack ready for them when they wake up, researching activities, etc. etc.

Afternoons are then spent at the beach, parks, walks, etc. (We live in California where the weather is almost always nice). Then it's dinner, clean up, bath time, story time and into bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mom and can tell you that when I have a day to focus solely on my kids it feels entirely different than when I have to focus on my kids, plus errands, plus other household management, plus being a decent spouse, plus thinking about which bills to pay...you get the idea. I think you're underestimating the value of being able to focus on one job at a time. When I'm home with my kids on the weekend my attention is divided by many more jobs other than just my kids. I don't sit down during the weekends. My nanny sits down for a couple of hours each day.

Not OP but another nanny and I don't sit down all day either.

Don't you have a husband to help you on weekends? I am alone with my charges all day long and do have their laundry and cooking to attend to as well as their errands. I nanny for a newborn and a 3.5 year old - I don't generally get a lot of time to focus on one thing at a time either. So I am doing basically what you are doing but without the help of my husband or any second adult.

Plus they are YOUR KIDS.

OP wasn't even complaining about her work - just her MBs whining as if she, the MB, has is so hard.

I have a husband. On weekends, we are home with four kids. Nanny has only two kids all day. On weekends, we still do laundry; we sort clothes. Shop for shoes. Plan meals for the week and grocery shop. Go to the hardware store. Run around to sports, activities, etc. Plan birthday parties. Fix the toilet that keeps running. Replace light bulbs. Check and respond to work emails. Our kids are only one of many responsibilities. There is a HUGE difference if I decide to focus only on kids or kid tasks and leave aside the other vast pile of work - mental and physical - that is a part of my usual weekend. Weekdays with just my two younger kids at home feels like vacation.