Looking for Christian au pairs

[Anonymous]

Hello! Our family is considering our first au pair, but we're looking for a strong believer who would fit into our family (not someone who went to church periodically growing up, someone who is daily influenced and directed by the Christian faith). Is there an agency that would be better to look at than another? One that lets you sort somehow by how important religion is to them? Any helpful tips? Looking for someone mid-August... thanks so much!

[Anonymous]

Cultural care does ask questions about religion and frequency of attendance as well as asks prompts about other things related to family and lifestyle. I find this a very useful tool since I screen for the opposite (we don't want a religious AP and won't consider someone who is "daily directed by the Christian faith"), so I would imagine you could use this tool the exact same way to find someone.

[Anonymous]

Euraupair asks similar questions but too strong religious beliefs (fundamentalist views) can also be a reason not to be accepted into the program at all.
You should also be able to find a strong believer by skimming their Dear Host Family letter. They will usually mention something about needing Sundays off for church or being part of prayer groups.

Depending on what kind of Christian faith you are looking for you might be better of screening by country of origin instead of trying to find a certain agency.
Or pre-match through one of the online matching sites and then go through whichever agency you prefer.

[Anonymous]

Haha! I just you are not looking for much of a cultural exchange.

[Anonymous]

You probably need to pull from South America. As long as you don't need a strong driver, swimmer, or English speaker just check central America in particular.

Just make sure if you pick.an EU girl you make sure she fully understands your rules (I presume you will be at the extreme of the program in terms of house rules). Some girls will tell you anything for a ticket over and you will end up in rematch within a month.

I'm good friends with our LCC and families like yours end up in rematch a lot because the girl gets here and relizes that her personal life ends up very restrictef. This often does not work for an EU girl who enjoys much more freedom than even her mainstream (and you are not even mainstream) American counterparts. Latin American girls tend to come from patriarchical backgrounds so they might be better for you.

[Anonymous]

Another suggestion to focus on South and Central America. Cultural Care's lifestyle questions will give you a good starting point for screening for this.

[Anonymous]

We went through Cultural Care and have a wonderful Christian girl from northern Sweden. You may want to look in that region. Usually, practicing Christian girls will clearly state it in their opening letter or in the "Experience " section where it talks about religion.

And cultural exchange doesn't have to mean religious difference. Everything here in America is new to her and a bit overwhelming- really we are as different as night and day, so it is comforting to her that we share the same core beliefs and values.

[Anonymous]

Religion and frequency of service attendance are included in the AP profiles. During the interview process, you can let the candidates know that you all are religious, say grace before meals, and would like some one who's comfortable with that. I think that's all fair, but I don't think it's fair if you expect the AP to provide religious instruction to your kids. It's one thing to ask AP not to contradict what you teach but to ask the AP to bolster the religious instruction you're already providing is too much, IMO. That's your job, not the AP's.

[Anonymous]

Why is it "too much" to ask AP to assist with religious instruction? Many APs help the kids with homework for a couple hours after school. What's the difference, if it aligns with both the HF and AP's faith, and if the AP is open to it?
I like that my AP is willing to say prayers with my kids if she puts them to bed, and is willing to say grace with us before dinner. I'd like it if she was interested in reading the bible to them occasionally.

I think it's totally fine if an actively practicing Jewish family prefers a Jewish AP, or a Hindu family prefers a Hindu AP.
Is religious preference any different from a Chinese family preferring a Chinese AP to help their kids learn the language? If both parties are open, who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it "too much" to ask AP to assist with religious instruction? Many APs help the kids with homework for a couple hours after school. What's the difference, if it aligns with both the HF and AP's faith, and if the AP is open to it?
I like that my AP is willing to say prayers with my kids if she puts them to bed, and is willing to say grace with us before dinner. I'd like it if she was interested in reading the bible to them occasionally.

I think it's totally fine if an actively practicing Jewish family prefers a Jewish AP, or a Hindu family prefers a Hindu AP.
Is religious preference any different from a Chinese family preferring a Chinese AP to help their kids learn the language? If both parties are open, who cares?

I think, and it's my personal opinion - for whatever that's worth, that it is too much because religious instruction is the parents' responsibility and I don't think it should be outsourced to your childcare provider. That gets to the heart of the question of what is the purpose of our life on this earth and the answer to that is central to your values, how you order your family - it's one of the few things I think can not, and should not, be outsourced.

Can she encourage prayers before bedtime? Sure, and have the children's bible included in the rotation of books read during story time - sounds great. But should she be responsible for answering major theological questions, like the origins of humanity or the nature of our relationship with God? I don't think so. Those are big questions, it's not easy to articulate such weighty and complex concepts to a young person - even people who dedicate their entire lives to this struggle to handle these questions well. It's a lot to ask of a young lady, who may share your faith, but perhaps wouldn't articulate it the way you would like - yet the answers provided do indeed matter a great deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another suggestion to focus on South and Central America. Cultural Care's lifestyle questions will give you a good starting point for screening for this.

If you are looking for a Catholic girl then Mexico, Brazil, Columbia and also Poland and Croatia. If you are looking for non-catholic, South Africa has some good pockets of fundamentalists.

I wouldn't go by the answers in the application but rather craft a series of interview questions seriously geared to ascertaining her inner faith and intention to continue. 3 out of my 7 Aps were raised in a faith, went to faith based schools, attended church weekly and promptly abandoned all religion upon arrival to the us, Turns out they were only doing what their parents required them to do (and they hated it!). Past performance is no guarentee of future behavior.

[Anonymous]

Op, why are you so focused on this? I have had nannies and au pairs for10 years and this really doesn't come up. Is this your way of trying to make sure your au pair doesn't drink, smoke, swear etc? If so, then I think there are many candidatss who would fit this bill who aren't practicing Christians

Btw, we are very catholic. Church every week, catholic schools including college and graduate school.

[Anonymous]

22:20 here, and I think it's totally fine if OP wants someone who shares her faith and at least somewhat the extent of her faith. Just like I wouldn't be at all comfortable with a strong believer (and in fact have not matched with otherwise good candidates who were really religious because I knew they wouldn't fit in well with our non-religious, somewhat irreverent household), I completely understand how OP would want someone who is going to be a member of her family to be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

OP, one thing to be sensitive to is the fact that you don't really know your AP til she has been with you a while. Past APs have characterized themselves as health nuts with rigorous gym schedules, yet hit the gym only a handful of times in their year. So if you are set on having your AP have precisely the same beliefs, to the same degree, demonstrated in the same way as you, you are setting your family and this young girl up for failure. If you want a religious girl but are flexible about the fact that she may end up having very different beliefs from you (religions often vary from country to country), and you approach it with curiosity and interest, then you may be able to have a good year. But this is a cultural exchange, with learning going both ways, so kindness and tolerance are key.

[Anonymous]

With APIA we've also seen some German girls that list heavy involvement with churches in their experience - they seem to be from southern Germany, so the more Catholic parts of Bavaria. Due to past personal baggage with a rematch from that area we don't recruit from that area (totally only a personal issue for our family) but it may work out great for you.