Should I look for a new nanny?
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Anonymous
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I have a 12 week old baby. My mom lives with us (for the next 2 months) and is taking care of her while I am at work. I hired a part-time nanny to help my mom out while I am in the office. The nanny started 3 weeks ago (while I was still home) - but it does not look like she is connecting with my daughter. My daughter will only take her bottle from my mom - and she needs my mom to put her to sleep as well. The baby cries most of the times when the nanny holds her.
The nanny does play with my baby - but she does not talk to her a lot. She mostly just waves toys at her. Should I be giving my baby more time to connect with the nanny? Or should I be looking for a new nanny? I don't know if I am being too critical of the nanny - I am a FTM so I just having a hard time letting her be with someone other than family. |
Anonymous
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Get a new nanny. Do it now while your mom is there and you don't have to worry about finding childcare between nannies.
If you are not comfortable leaving your daughter with the nanny, then how are you going to go to work? |
Anonymous
| that is odd. the nanny for that aged child should be loving and experienced. maybe you and grandma need to get out of the room and let them bond and do their own thing. if there is still no connection from either end, then make a change. |
Anonymous
| OP here: I have left the baby with the nanny alone a couple of times (when the baby was playing), but I still don't feel like they are connecting. I think I will probably start looking for another option. |
Anonymous
| why did you post this twice? |
Anonymous
| OP I think in both threads you are jumping to finding a new nanny too quickly. first, newborns are difficult to bond with. on top of that, you've only given her three weeks. these things take time! you can't expect a nanny to have a close bond with a child that the child has only known for 3 weeks, especially when the child is so new to the world. second, your mom being around so much could be awkward to the nanny, as the posters in the other thread suggested. even though you've left the nanny alone with the baby only a couple of times, again, bonding takes time. it doesn't matter how fantastic a nanny is, she needs time to bond with her charges. you are going to find the same thing happening with your subsequent nannies if you are this quick to move on |
Anonymous
I posted on the General discussion first and realized that that was more for nanny to nanny communication. That was why I posted on the Employer board. |
Anonymous
| Where did you find her? |
Anonymous
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Hi new mom and congratulations, having a new baby and trying out a new nanny can be very challenging. There are many here that can get very critical of your questions, ignore them.
Three weeks is a bit short and your nanny is part-time also it is most likely difficult for her with trying to impress both you and your mom. With that said, perhaps newborns are not where your nanny is skilled at, waving toys is not always comforting to a baby. How is she talking with your baby, is it a soothing voice or loud? Perhaps you could sit down with your nanny and just communicate without judging but express what you are concerned with. Set up a game plan and give it a bit more time and if in a couple of weeks you are still stressed perhaps yes it is not a good fit. Good luck and please come here with questions, there are some good people here that can help. |
Anonymous
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Why didn't you mention that your mother is constantly home with the nanny and always jumps in when the baby fusses?
Your mother being there is the problem. The nanny is not. Fix it before the nanny gets tired of dealing with you. This will continue to be an issue with every single nanny you have. |
Anonymous
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I don't think it will continue to be an issue with every nanny you have. You just need to hire someone with a little more experience who doesn't need time to "figure things out."
What are you going to do if she doesn't figure it out? Then you are working, your alternative childcare (your mom) is no longer available, and you are stuck with sub-par childcare. |
Anonymous
| Just hire a professional, OP. |
Anonymous
Thanks for the advice. I am working with both the nanny and my mom to give the nanny more time to bond with my baby. She tends to have a slightly louder voice that me or my mom when talking to the baby - but my mom and I tend to be soft-spoken in general. I am going to speak to her today about spending more time with the baby - and also my mom about giving the nanny the space to connect. I am still not 100% sure that her lack of prior experience with newborns is a concern - so I am going to give it a couple more weeks. |
Anonymous
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OP-please pretend that you are a corporation. Imagine your nanny as the marketing firm you've hired to represent your corporation (your baby). The person working on your campaign is trying to do a good job for you, but every time any problems come up, her boss (your mother) jumps in and handles them.
It happens so often that the corporation begins to wonder why the person working on their campaign isn't doing anything. The truth is that she was never even given the opportunity. Tell your mother to leave the house. |
Anonymous
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Two things that jump out at me- Your mom being home and her being a part time nanny. Grandma being there can be really difficult for nannies. Being part time it will generally take longer for the children to bond with the nanny since she is not there every day.
I say give it some more time unless there is something specific that makes you want to change or your gut feeling is telling you somthing is wrong. |