How to ask for a raise?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure this gets asked a lot but . . . I have been working for my NF almost 2 years and my MB is pregnant (due in April) and my pay has not been brought up It's so awkward to bring it up because our relationship is so friendly and just thinking about it gives me anxiety. So how do I ask for a raise??

[Anonymous]

This has always been the trickiest part of being a nanny for me. I'm afraid I can't offer much help as to how to ask for it, but I have this bit of advice: Ask asap. My last nanny family totally screwed me over thusly:

I'd been watching DS since he was three months old. Shortly before his 2nd birthday, MB told me she was expecting. Of course I said congratulations. Over the next few months I casually brought up baby stuff with her, and even went so far as to buy a small baby gift a few weeks before her due date as an opportunity to bring it up. Anyway, just one week before her due date, frustrated, I sent an email asking her to clarify what she was expecting of me in terms of care for the new baby. She told me she planning to watch the baby herself during maternity leave so I would just continue with DS as usual, at the same rate. What she didn't tell me until two months later was that her plan all along had been to drastically reduce her hours and work from home as a SAHM! She only gave me three weeks notice.

Point is, figure out your raise situation asap.

[Anonymous]

I would start by asking out right what the plan is to be for maternity leave hours, responsibilities, and transition that into the new baby talk mention rate then just say it.

[Anonymous]

OP
I HATE face to face serious talks so I want to write an Email or text but I don't know if it's rude or unprofessional and I know once I bring it up she will say she has to talk to DB about it. So I'm like maybe i can write an Email and she will get back to me in person after she talks to DB? MB is the bread winner so I'm not too worried about being let go. I know she isn't going to be a SAHM

[Anonymous]

Considering she is due next month, I am quite surprised she hasn't addressed a raise w/an extra child yet.

I would give her until the middle of this month to bring it up.

If she doesn't, then you have no choice but to initiate the topic. Super awkward, I know, but it's better than feeling over-worked yet under-paid trust me.

You can even admit to her that you feel awkward discussing money matters, but feel that it is best to discuss everything out in the open to avoid any misunderstandings later on. Hopefully she will understand what you mean and the conversation will proceed smoothly from there.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Simply tell your employers that you would like a sit-down/review to see how best to proceed. I did this about a month before I was coming up on my year anniversary with them. I also told my employers that I wanted to give them time to research what the customary raise is as well as other benefits. I also told them that we needed to talk about discipline (so that we were all on the same page), early potty training and baby-proofing their home.

After a couple weeks, she set a time for us to talk. I was ready with exactly what I wanted. I asked for what I wanted and got everything I asked for. Easy-peasy.

Good luck, OP. I know it is of no help to tell you that should have done this at your year anniversary but you really should have! Now that a new baby is coming, it absolutely has to be done.

[Anonymous]

I second PP's suggestion to ask for a formal review and to be prepared with your raise request. Know if you're willing to negotiate or if this is a bottom line for you, and be prepared to walk if you aren't going to be happy. I never stay longer than 18 months at my starting rate. I call for a review/raise request at 12 months, and if they say no, I ask to revisit in 3-6 months. At that time if the answer is still no, they aren't planning to raise you ever, and you need to leave. It sounds like your family is either a bit clueless, or they want to see how long they can get away without offering a raise. Closed mouths don't get fed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure this gets asked a lot but . . . I have been working for my NF almost 2 years and my MB is pregnant (due in April) and my pay has not been brought up It's so awkward to bring it up because our relationship is so friendly and just thinking about it gives me anxiety. So how do I ask for a raise??

You can certainly talk about it at any point and it sounds like you are assuming some sort of raise due to the second child. That would typically kick in when the mother ends her maternity leave (often unpaid) and returns to work.
I'd be patient, but do try to ask if she will be home, how long, family houseguests, preschool starting in sept?, how you should best help.

In my case, they were upfront with things except the raise, which is a sensitive topic and the more you ask the prettier you look about money. My family put the 2yu in preschool 5 days a week so I could spend more time with the new baby, go to those gym classes with her later, etc. I did get a raise but I only really had two kids on fed holidays, school closing days.

A lot of nannies get nervous when they here starting preschool because that means less hours and a redo of the work needs. They were upfront about needing me full time, but we did not talk money money money until end of mat leave and had a routine down.

[Anonymous]

OP

Does everyone think I should ask for a raise? I posted this on a Facebook nanny page and a lot of them said just because I'm getting second charge my pay shouldn't change. So I don't want to ask if it's not normal to. And I know I should have had a meeting at my 1 year anniversary but if you haven't noticed I'm a big chicken! Since we are such good friends I'm afraid if she says no that I will start to cry in front of her because I feel I deserve one! ( and I have some hormonal stuff goin on)

[Anonymous]

I would add, one way to help you case for a raise, is to give examples on how you are going to handle two kids of different ages and stages of development. Which moms and nannies have dealt with for ages.
I'm not saying you start whining abut generic things like bigger piles of laundry or double strollers, and "double the work." Good nannies need to have a plan for things to do, hypothetical schedules, teaching sibling interaction, continued playdates, etc. And use those as the reason to ask for higher pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP

Does everyone think I should ask for a raise? I posted this on a Facebook nanny page and a lot of them said just because I'm getting second charge my pay shouldn't change. So I don't want to ask if it's not normal to. And I know I should have had a meeting at my 1 year anniversary but if you haven't noticed I'm a big chicken! Since we are such good friends I'm afraid if she says no that I will start to cry in front of her because I feel I deserve one! ( and I have some hormonal stuff goin on)

Of course you deserve a raise. Not just with the added work/responsibility of caring for another child but you deserve at least a cost-of-living increase every year!!

Not to sound cruel, but you need to grow up. We teach people how to treat us - and you have taught your employers that you are not a professional.

[Anonymous]

I get the same raise my MB few every year 3-6%, so it is not tied to anything else, including additional kids, preschool, driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure this gets asked a lot but . . . I have been working for my NF almost 2 years and my MB is pregnant (due in April) and my pay has not been brought up It's so awkward to bring it up because our relationship is so friendly and just thinking about it gives me anxiety. So how do I ask for a raise??

You can certainly talk about it at any point and it sounds like you are assuming some sort of raise due to the second child. That would typically kick in when the mother ends her maternity leave (often unpaid) and returns to work.
I'd be patient, but do try to ask if she will be home, how long, family houseguests, preschool starting in sept?, how you should best help.

In my case, they were upfront with things except the raise, which is a sensitive topic and the more you ask the prettier you look about money. My family put the 2yu in preschool 5 days a week so I could spend more time with the new baby, go to those gym classes with her later, etc. I did get a raise but I only really had two kids on fed holidays, school closing days.

A lot of nannies get nervous when they here starting preschool because that means less hours and a redo of the work needs. They were upfront about needing me full time, but we did not talk money money money until end of mat leave and had a routine down.

Yes she has mentioned the half day preschool where it gets over at noon. But then I would be taking him and picking him up and I've never been compensated for gas before. But we rarely drive anywhere, we do parks and play dates near the house. So I figured that could be part of the raise since it will be the same miles everyday. I'm not nervous about asking any other question except the raise because most of it has been casually dropped into regular conversations by MB. And of course I don't expect the raise to start until after she goes back to work I just feel it should be talked about before the baby even gets here.

[Anonymous]

Of course you should get a raise. Or a new job.