overnight sitting and not getting paid vent

[Anonymous]

Venting! I recently took care of my manicurists 2 children , ages 3 and 5. I am a nanny and this is what I do for living since I am a young college student. I have known her for 8 years (she is much older) and she asked me to watch her 2 boys for a full 24 hours. When she asked I assumed she knew I was going to charge her since this is what I do as my job. Since she is my fiend I of coarse wouldn't ask for money unless she offered but I did expect an exchange for services since we have done it before. I went in to get my nails done the other day by her and I mentioned the exchange of services and she was surprised. She agreed to do an exchange but seemed reluctant. I thought it was a little odd she didn't think of it even though taking care of 2 children for a full 24 hrs by myself is very draining and now I feel used. Was I expecting to much?

[Anonymous]

Yes you are expecting too much, because every professional knows that you confirm payment ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for they reply! Since we have exchanged services before I didn't think it was necessary to bring it up again. Just like if she does my nails I already know I have to pay her for her services I don't expect to get it for free just because she's a friend.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry she did this to you. It was selfish of her. I don't think you should keep her for a friend. She'll try to use you again.

[Anonymous]

This is very common. But the fact that you have exchanged nails for childcare before makes it different as you kind of expected that again. Next time confirm upfront. My friends never pay me to watch there kids. They expect it for free and they want too notch service too.

[Anonymous]

Friends watch friends kids all the time without payment. So I guess you really just need to decide is she a friend or a client?

[Anonymous]

Does she own the salon? If not you're putting her in a difficult situation. Anyways, I would assume a professional would have discussed payment of any kind beforehand so this is on You.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Friends watch friends kids all the time without payment. So I guess you really just need to decide is she a friend or a client?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friends watch friends kids all the time without payment. So I guess you really just need to decide is she a friend or a client?

+1

I generally agree with this also. I think what she did is poor. Even a friend with whom I have this kind of relationship I would have, at minimum, thanked profusely and given some kind of gift. She doesn't sound like the kind of friend you need or want.

I'd just handle it differently going forward - if/when she asks again you should clarify that this is your profession and you charge for these services, but you'll be fine with an exchange of professional services in lieu of cash.

She sounds rotten OP - totally took advantage of your good will.

[Anonymous]

Dump this "friend." she should have assumed she would give you X number of mani pedi services for such a huge favor and you shouldn't have had to ask. Even if she doesn't own a salon, most cosmetologists have their own equipment and she could have arranged to go to your house or something. But you should have clarified too and said you'd do it exchange for 2 mani pedis or whatever seemed fair to you.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned that you did an exchange for services before, does that mean that you had babysat for her prior + that she had compensated you financially for your services? If that was the case, then I would have been surprised as well.

Also, how well do you know this person? Is she considered a best friend to you...Almost like a sister? In that case, I could kind of see why she would think she thought it was a favor, esp. if she is a single mother, however it still would be rude on her end to just assume you would watch her two young children for free. It's not like you do charity work on the side.

Lesson learned. Next time you agree to watch anyone's kids, make sure you discuss rate before you accept. I know talking about money is super awkward sometimes, but it's much better than being hustled later on.

[Anonymous]

Can I asked you why she needed 24 hrs care? Because if that was like an emergency (dying relative in hospital, need for medical test, etc) that is one thing -- that is friend babysitting. If that was "I'm going for an overnight trip with my boyfriend to unwind", that's totally different thing, and more like a client.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can I asked you why she needed 24 hrs care? Because if that was like an emergency (dying relative in hospital, need for medical test, etc) that is one thing -- that is friend babysitting. If that was "I'm going for an overnight trip with my boyfriend to unwind", that's totally different thing, and more like a client.

She was going out with friends that night and wanted time to hangout with friends during the day too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned that you did an exchange for services before, does that mean that you had babysat for her prior + that she had compensated you financially for your services? If that was the case, then I would have been surprised as well.

Also, how well do you know this person? Is she considered a best friend to you...Almost like a sister? In that case, I could kind of see why she would think she thought it was a favor, esp. if she is a single mother, however it still would be rude on her end to just assume you would watch her two young children for free. It's not like you do charity work on the side.

Lesson learned. Next time you agree to watch anyone's kids, make sure you discuss rate before you accept. I know talking about money is super awkward sometimes, but it's much better than being hustled later on.

Yes, she compensated me with services before but not actual money. She has a husband so she is not single. I have known her for the past 8 years, I wouldn't say we are super close like sisters but we are friends. The majority of the time I only see her when I get my nails done and we catch up. Yes, lesson learned. She knows I do this for a living so her being a business owner her self I thought she would understand the logistics of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every professional knows that you confirm payment ahead of time.

This part of the PP's response I agree with 100% - and I guess this is a lesson learned.