nanny trolling care.com
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Anonymous
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We hired a new nanny 6 weeks ago. There have been some troubles so far with her being confrontational about completely random things (she has been upset both that we paid her overtime when she stayed late one night (???) and was also upset about us asking her to not be on the phone for long periods of time when the kids were with her....) and we find that while she is great at shuttling the kids from thing to thing -- our little one still refuses to go to her every single morning and our older child hasn't seemed to take to her either.
I admit we were having discussions about if she would work out because she asked to move into the au pair suite in our house. I went onto care.com to look for what our options might be if we tell her we're uncomfortable with her living here and she quits -- and noticed that she had logged on within one day (I peeked because she said specifically she shuts off her care.com when she gets a job so I was surprised when it showed up as active in my applicants file). I didn't jump to conclusions but just went on care.com to see what's what because she said she needed to leave for an appointment in DC this evening and she has logged onto care.com today. Do I go ahead and post our nanny job again knowing she might see it? Do I ask her if she's looking point blank just in case she's on there to see if we have posted anything (off chance but a maybe?)? Thoughts? |
Anonymous
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It's always a good idea to check in during the first weeks to see how the relationship is going an how she feels the job is going. I'd start there. If you have any concerns, now is the time to open up about them and hope she does too. Then you can mutually decide whether the relationship is worth moving forward with or whether you should part ways.
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Anonymous
That's the thing, we HAVE had routine check ins. She seems to blow off any concerns we have and if we directly ask her a question like "Are you happy with the schedule?" She says vague things like "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't." |
Anonymous
| As a nanny, I always keep my posting up on care.com until I feel the job will end up working out and be long term. You never know if it will be a good fit, so it's good to keep your options open. Even when I am happy with my job I might keep my posting up for occasional sitting jobs just to remain active on the site. I will get emails from families wanting to meet me but I just tell them I am not currently available for a new position. |
Anonymous
| You can get sitting job on care.com too. My profile is always active. I'm not always actively looking, but it lets families that may be interested contact me about potential opportunities. |
Anonymous
| I don't think "trolling" applies to a nanny active on a caregiver job site. |
Anonymous
| The phone-addiction in nannies is my personal pet peeve. It doesn't sound like your nanny is working out, OP. Having her see your job posting on care.com might help the transition of termination. |
Anonymous
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Another nanny here who keeps her care.com active for occasional babysitting/pet sitting jobs.
I like to travel and I get a lot of time off, so sometimes I need a few extra hours here and there to pay for my trips. Does your nanny live far away and that's why she wants to move in? I spent a lot of nights at my NF's house this winter already because of the weather. I live half an hour away and it's double the time from where I used to live when I started working for them. I would love to move in with my NF, at least for a while, but I won't ask. They actually said I should, but it was in a joking way a few months ago when we were talking about the upcoming winter. So if your nanny has a far commute, that could be a reason why she asked. You said your little one isn't warming up to her - what about when she leaves after work? Are they happy and having fun when you walk in the door? |
Anonymous
I also just received the following report from a friend's nanny that hosts playdates with our nanny and our children: "((NAME OF FRIEND'S NANNY)) isn.t impressed with <<NAME OF OUR NANNY>>. She said she doesn't interact with your childnre much and complians when they are being difficult (they're kids!) She said she's tried to talk to your nanny but doesn't think she's going to work out." |
Anonymous
| Don't post the job until you talk to her about everything. If 15:41 is OP, then that is yet ANOTHER red flag. Just give her one weeks notice, that is, if you feel up to having her for another week. If not, given her shoddy performance and her short tenure, I dont think it'd be entirely out of line to give her no notice (but in that case I'd offer a few days pay as severance). |
Anonymous
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I think what both parties need to do is communicate directly w/each OTHER.
It looks to me like there has been a serious breakdown in communication + I think it is mostly due to her fault from what you have stated. However, you both still need to talk this situation over vs. going on Care.com and spying on each other. You need to get solid answers directly from each other instead of guessing. |
Anonymous
| Clearly the situation isn't going to work out, so I would say yes you should start looking. We had a similar situation with a nanny we worked with for about a month, and it was very stressful but once we made a change we were very happy. I wouldn't talk to her about her care.com posting since she might say she is just looking for babysitting. |