Qualities of a good nanny

[Anonymous]

We are interested in finding a good nanny for the next 6-7 years, through having 2 children. Our first is on the way. We view the nanny as a childcare provider and someone who helps us do our jobs effectively as well (by not worrying about child, being reliable, allowing us to be on time for work, some flexibility if we have work travel, understanding instructions, etc.).

1) What qualities do you look for in terms of taking care of the child(ren)?

2) What qualities do you look for in terms of interacting well with the parents/employer?

3) What should we ask upfront as we anticipate looking for someone who can handle 1 infant, then toddler/pre-schooler, then working with an infant and a toddler, then eventually two pre-schoolers/elementary students? We'd prefer to keep the same person throughout if all is going well and obviously there are changing needs as the young child ages.

[Anonymous]

1) Joy, affection, and patience. Good humor and someone who doesn't get stressed or frazzled easily.
2) Transparency, honesty, and a direct and composed demeanor. We couldn't believe how many nannies we interviewed trashed their former employers, too. We looked for someone who seemed like they were discreet.
3) Ask about her experience, find out what ages she has worked with. Ask about her plans and specifically inquire if she's looking for something that long term and then be skeptical of all the "yes"s you hear. Lots of people will want your job, but only a couple (at best) will be career nannies who make those kind of commitments. Try to ascertain her willingness to learn new skills, ask her what she likes most about each age. You're going to have to trust your instincts during this process and remember that nannies who stay for 6+ years are rare, you won't be able to guarantee anything (younger nannies may get pregnant, older nannies may start caring for their own grandchildren), and your kids will be okay if your needs and nannies change a time or two.

[Anonymous]

Look for experience and education, OP. Experience as a nanny, obviously, but also experience as a teacher in preschool or daycare. Education in Early Childhood Development.

Our nanny is a true gem. A former preschool teacher with a MA in Early Childhood Development. She is very smart and a problem solver. She will never just tell me something like "DS was acting up in storytime" without proposing several solutions. She did the same when he was a newborn. She is also unbelievably energetic and healthy.

When I first met her what struck me was "what a lovely woman". That feeling has only grown in the last two years. She smiles all the time. You;ll get a feel for the right nanny after you interview a couple of them.

I pray my nanny will stay with us through all of DS (and hopefully his sibling's) childhood.

[Anonymous]

I've been on here a long time and I've made a list of a couple important things to find out about your new nanny before you hire her.

1) Does she have any looming health problems? Ask her when the last time she visited the doctor was and for what. It couldn't hurt to also ask if she goes to the doctor on weekends or only weekdays.

2) Are her parents close to dying? This will cause upwards of a week of leave requests. Not worth dealing with for a new nanny.

3) Discuss "light housework" and have her spell out exactly what she is willing to do. Specifically ask her about dishes, dishwashers, dog poop, child poop on carpet, stained clothes. Nothing worse than a log of poop in the sink because nanny can't wash cloth diapers because it's "housework".

4) Does she have a car? If not she will almost never show up to work unless it's warm and sunny. Winter will be your downfall.

5) Does she live close? A nanny who lives more than 15 minutes away will always get stuck in "traffic" when she runs late because she was on Facebook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been on here a long time and I've made a list of a couple important things to find out about your new nanny before you hire her.

1) Does she have any looming health problems? Ask her when the last time she visited the doctor was and for what. It couldn't hurt to also ask if she goes to the doctor on weekends or only weekdays.

2) Are her parents close to dying? This will cause upwards of a week of leave requests. Not worth dealing with for a new nanny.

3) Discuss "light housework" and have her spell out exactly what she is willing to do. Specifically ask her about dishes, dishwashers, dog poop, child poop on carpet, stained clothes. Nothing worse than a log of poop in the sink because nanny can't wash cloth diapers because it's "housework".

4) Does she have a car? If not she will almost never show up to work unless it's warm and sunny. Winter will be your downfall.

5) Does she live close? A nanny who lives more than 15 minutes away will always get stuck in "traffic" when she runs late because she was on Facebook.

This is the vitriolic poster. Was this necessary? The above posters were really helpful, and as a nanny, I was enjoying this thread.
If one asked some of these questions during an interview, especially about parents, I'd think red flags and run? Who asks if a potential nanny has elderly, dying parents?
It's especially bothering me since there's been four parent deaths in my last two nanny families in the past 8 months. And then out of nowhere, I got the shingles. My boss said, This is Life. We just continue onward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been on here a long time and I've made a list of a couple important things to find out about your new nanny before you hire her.

1) Does she have any looming health problems? Ask her when the last time she visited the doctor was and for what. It couldn't hurt to also ask if she goes to the doctor on weekends or only weekdays.

2) Are her parents close to dying? This will cause upwards of a week of leave requests. Not worth dealing with for a new nanny.

3) Discuss "light housework" and have her spell out exactly what she is willing to do. Specifically ask her about dishes, dishwashers, dog poop, child poop on carpet, stained clothes. Nothing worse than a log of poop in the sink because nanny can't wash cloth diapers because it's "housework".

4) Does she have a car? If not she will almost never show up to work unless it's warm and sunny. Winter will be your downfall.

5) Does she live close? A nanny who lives more than 15 minutes away will always get stuck in "traffic" when she runs late because she was on Facebook.

You are insane. Ask about health and age of parents? You are truly dispicable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on here a long time and I've made a list of a couple important things to find out about your new nanny before you hire her.

1) Does she have any looming health problems? Ask her when the last time she visited the doctor was and for what. It couldn't hurt to also ask if she goes to the doctor on weekends or only weekdays.

2) Are her parents close to dying? This will cause upwards of a week of leave requests. Not worth dealing with for a new nanny.

3) Discuss "light housework" and have her spell out exactly what she is willing to do. Specifically ask her about dishes, dishwashers, dog poop, child poop on carpet, stained clothes. Nothing worse than a log of poop in the sink because nanny can't wash cloth diapers because it's "housework".

4) Does she have a car? If not she will almost never show up to work unless it's warm and sunny. Winter will be your downfall.

5) Does she live close? A nanny who lives more than 15 minutes away will always get stuck in "traffic" when she runs late because she was on Facebook.

This is the vitriolic poster. Was this necessary? The above posters were really helpful, and as a nanny, I was enjoying this thread.
If one asked some of these questions during an interview, especially about parents, I'd think red flags and run? Who asks if a potential nanny has elderly, dying parents?
It's especially bothering me since there's been four parent deaths in my last two nanny families in the past 8 months. And then out of nowhere, I got the shingles. My boss said, This is Life. We just continue onward.

Yea well if you worked for me I don't have the luxury of giving you 30 days off to deal with your failing health and dying relative. Say that's harsh as much as you wish but its true.

[Anonymous]

1) What qualities do you look for in terms of taking care of the child(ren)? I wanted someone who would make me comfortable enough that they wouldn't steal or abuse our baby. I looked for someone who either knew the different stages of people or was willing to learn. I looked for someone who knew when to be firm and when to be easy-going, someone who could problem solve and use critical thinking skills.

2) What qualities do you look for in terms of interacting well with the parents/employer? We dismissed one person who interviewed but barely made eye contact and couldn't get out a coherent answer (great on paper) without "like" "um" "ya know", etc. Someone who would both have ideas on how to deal with developmental stages yet not have too much of an ego and would take our ideas even if they were different from theirs.

3) What should we ask upfront as we anticipate looking for someone who can handle 1 infant, then toddler/pre-schooler, then working with an infant and a toddler, then eventually two pre-schoolers/elementary students? We'd prefer to keep the same person throughout if all is going well and obviously there are changing needs as the young child ages. we asked how long the person saw the job lasting before telling people we wanted someone who'd be with us for a decade or longer. we did not ask if they'd be comfortable with two kids because we didn't think we'd ever have a second.

We wound up going with someone who had ZERO nanny experience and no childcare education. We wound up going with a guy, which my husband really had to talk me into. But he was calm and not easily rattled, and the baby was comfortable and smiling with him within half a minute of him holding her, on time, was able to sell himself, and was able to explain how staying with us for a decade would work with his personal goals for his own life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on here a long time and I've made a list of a couple important things to find out about your new nanny before you hire her.

1) Does she have any looming health problems? Ask her when the last time she visited the doctor was and for what. It couldn't hurt to also ask if she goes to the doctor on weekends or only weekdays.

2) Are her parents close to dying? This will cause upwards of a week of leave requests. Not worth dealing with for a new nanny.

3) Discuss "light housework" and have her spell out exactly what she is willing to do. Specifically ask her about dishes, dishwashers, dog poop, child poop on carpet, stained clothes. Nothing worse than a log of poop in the sink because nanny can't wash cloth diapers because it's "housework".

4) Does she have a car? If not she will almost never show up to work unless it's warm and sunny. Winter will be your downfall.

5) Does she live close? A nanny who lives more than 15 minutes away will always get stuck in "traffic" when she runs late because she was on Facebook.

This is the vitriolic poster. Was this necessary? The above posters were really helpful, and as a nanny, I was enjoying this thread.
If one asked some of these questions during an interview, especially about parents, I'd think red flags and run? Who asks if a potential nanny has elderly, dying parents?
It's especially bothering me since there's been four parent deaths in my last two nanny families in the past 8 months. And then out of nowhere, I got the shingles. My boss said, This is Life. We just continue onward.

Yea well if you worked for me I don't have the luxury of giving you 30 days off to deal with your failing health and dying relative. Say that's harsh as much as you wish but its true.

Who said they asked for 30 days off? Would you really ask about the health of someone's relatives? Mine are all dead, guess I'd be your dream nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on here a long time and I've made a list of a couple important things to find out about your new nanny before you hire her.

1) Does she have any looming health problems? Ask her when the last time she visited the doctor was and for what. It couldn't hurt to also ask if she goes to the doctor on weekends or only weekdays.

2) Are her parents close to dying? This will cause upwards of a week of leave requests. Not worth dealing with for a new nanny.

3) Discuss "light housework" and have her spell out exactly what she is willing to do. Specifically ask her about dishes, dishwashers, dog poop, child poop on carpet, stained clothes. Nothing worse than a log of poop in the sink because nanny can't wash cloth diapers because it's "housework".

4) Does she have a car? If not she will almost never show up to work unless it's warm and sunny. Winter will be your downfall.

5) Does she live close? A nanny who lives more than 15 minutes away will always get stuck in "traffic" when she runs late because she was on Facebook.

This is the vitriolic poster. Was this necessary? The above posters were really helpful, and as a nanny, I was enjoying this thread.
If one asked some of these questions during an interview, especially about parents, I'd think red flags and run? Who asks if a potential nanny has elderly, dying parents?
It's especially bothering me since there's been four parent deaths in my last two nanny families in the past 8 months. And then out of nowhere, I got the shingles. My boss said, This is Life. We just continue onward.

Yea well if you worked for me I don't have the luxury of giving you 30 days off to deal with your failing health and dying relative. Say that's harsh as much as you wish but its true.

Who said they asked for 30 days off? Would you really ask about the health of someone's relatives? Mine are all dead, guess I'd be your dream nanny.

Besides your bitchy attitude you are off to a good start. How is your health though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on here a long time and I've made a list of a couple important things to find out about your new nanny before you hire her.

1) Does she have any looming health problems? Ask her when the last time she visited the doctor was and for what. It couldn't hurt to also ask if she goes to the doctor on weekends or only weekdays.

2) Are her parents close to dying? This will cause upwards of a week of leave requests. Not worth dealing with for a new nanny.

3) Discuss "light housework" and have her spell out exactly what she is willing to do. Specifically ask her about dishes, dishwashers, dog poop, child poop on carpet, stained clothes. Nothing worse than a log of poop in the sink because nanny can't wash cloth diapers because it's "housework".

4) Does she have a car? If not she will almost never show up to work unless it's warm and sunny. Winter will be your downfall.

5) Does she live close? A nanny who lives more than 15 minutes away will always get stuck in "traffic" when she runs late because she was on Facebook.

This is the vitriolic poster. Was this necessary? The above posters were really helpful, and as a nanny, I was enjoying this thread.
If one asked some of these questions during an interview, especially about parents, I'd think red flags and run? Who asks if a potential nanny has elderly, dying parents?
It's especially bothering me since there's been four parent deaths in my last two nanny families in the past 8 months. And then out of nowhere, I got the shingles. My boss said, This is Life. We just continue onward.

Yea well if you worked for me I don't have the luxury of giving you 30 days off to deal with your failing health and dying relative. Say that's harsh as much as you wish but its true.

Who said they asked for 30 days off? Would you really ask about the health of someone's relatives? Mine are all dead, guess I'd be your dream nanny.

Besides your bitchy attitude you are off to a good start. How is your health though?

My gosh. I wasn't bitchy at all I anything I said, and in my life, I'm called kind, compassionate and a hard, no attitude worker. I was stunned by your comments and just wanted to understand if you were for real. I've been fortunate to have amazing bosses over the years. I've assisted them with all sorts of things, even bringing one home after surgery and helping her with anything she needed. This morning, I made my bosses a hot breakfast while cleaning up and managing the baby. I would help them if a relative died- and I have, as I said, 4 have died in 8 months- and they would help me if needed. I'm sorry you are suffering so much in life, that you need to derail a really nice MB post with ugliness.

Ps. I worked in the restaurant business for 22 years. I know work. I once pulled a 25 hr catering shift , taking an hr nap on a cold steel table. I am the average, hard working nanny. Most of us are nothing like what you portray.

[Anonymous]

warning! Thread high jacked by two nannies going at it repeatedly! Go DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been on here a long time and I've made a list of a couple important things to find out about your new nanny before you hire her.

1) Does she have any looming health problems? Ask her when the last time she visited the doctor was and for what. It couldn't hurt to also ask if she goes to the doctor on weekends or only weekdays.

2) Are her parents close to dying? This will cause upwards of a week of leave requests. Not worth dealing with for a new nanny.

3) Discuss "light housework" and have her spell out exactly what she is willing to do. Specifically ask her about dishes, dishwashers, dog poop, child poop on carpet, stained clothes. Nothing worse than a log of poop in the sink because nanny can't wash cloth diapers because it's "housework".

4) Does she have a car? If not she will almost never show up to work unless it's warm and sunny. Winter will be your downfall.

5) Does she live close? A nanny who lives more than 15 minutes away will always get stuck in "traffic" when she runs late because she was on Facebook.

I'm not this poster but I'd like to issue a humor alert here. This was funny. This was meant as a JOKE folks. Maybe it wasn't kind humor, but it certainly was situationally appropriate.

Oy. We all need to calm down a little.