Best age for au pair?

[Anonymous]

I was originally thinking 25-26 because the older the better. I was definitely WAY more mature at those ages than I was at 18. That said, I am concerned that my own age (30 - and husband is almost 36) will be too close to the ages of the au pairs if they are 25-26. I also feel weird giving them "lifestyle" rules like no smoking, no male overnight guests, etc. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

We use German APs and most all German APs are young college girls doing their gap year, so the pool of German APs are almost all 18-21.

I would never hire the age range that you propose. Many of those women are looking to get married.

[Anonymous]

36yr old husband and 26yr old AuPairs living with you? Have you lost your mind?

[Anonymous]

I'm not worried about my husband, but at the same time, I get it. What age range do you think I should be focusing on?

14:53, is there a reason you use German AP's? (Sorry, I am so new to this). Are they better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not worried about my husband, but at the same time, I get it. What age range do you think I should be focusing on?

14:53, is there a reason you use German AP's? (Sorry, I am so new to this). Are they better?

It is critical that I get a good driver and Germany has the best odds for this. I also like the fact that most of them just want to do a year back and get back to school. They tend to be serious about school. Plus they do well in structure and we run a pretty structured house and schedule.

[Anonymous]

^^

Oh and their English is great, so I find it easier to communicate with them in interviews and then when they get here.

[Anonymous]

We only look at candidates that are 22+. I'm sure there are mature younger APs, but our preference is just for older.

[Anonymous]

We only consider 21+, for maturity, driving experience, and to avoid any underage drinking issues. We have had 7APs and based on my own experience, I'd say the sweet spot is 22.

Our best APs were 21, 21, 22, and our current one who is turning 26.

Our two 24yr old APs were very independent, and less great match with our families. They also came from broken homes. Not sure, but I think that might have affected their notion of what family actually is.

We had one rematch, and she was the oldest at almost 26. She was the one who needed to do the most growing out of the bunch...

I don't think the age difference with the parents is a big issue. No matter the age, there is a still a chasm between a married couple with children and a young woman on something akin to a 'gap year'. And you will connect with some girls better than others regardless of age.

[Anonymous]

You will find people all over the place on this one. We personally prefer the 19-21 year olds. Our two worst APs - both ended up rematch and both got sent home - were the 26 year olds. Both were far less mature and responsible than any of our 19 year olds.

Like a PP, we prefer German, Austrian, and Swiss APs due to their driving experience and the rigor of their tests. We also are an extremely structured household and require someone who is smart and has excellent English, and the APs from these countries tend to fit what we are looking for.

[Anonymous]

If a woman of 25-26 is looking to be an AP, my first thought is why isn't she getting on with her real life. I've had APs from 18-27. All but one of the older ones were drifting through life with no ambition or motivation except to party and travel. It made them ill suited for the responsibility of caring for kids. My 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

One of the reasons I matched with our first AP was that she was 26 and had a ton of childcare experience, including summers overseas working at sleepaway camps. It turns out that at least for her case she was looking to AP because she didn't know what else to do with her life. Our 19/20 year old German APs (two of them so far) on the other hand have been as PPs describe -- younger, doing a gap year, but very focused on their futures and willing to work hard during the gap year. Our younger APs have been far more mature and responsible than our older AP and drinking hasn't come into the equation at all.

It's all anecdotal, of course, and I'm sure there are many fabulous older APs and many immature and irresponsible younger APs. I think it's important to do as much screening of applicants as possible to get an idea of who will be the best match for your family, but in general after my experiences I'm much less inclined to believe age is a proxy for maturity. For me it's more important to look at life experiences and goals in order to find the candidates with the right work ethic, attitude, and motivations. Not only because I want them to succeed at the AP job but also because I want them to model good work ethic and high expectations for my kids. As a side note, underage drinking has not been an issue at all for us. One of the advantages of being in the greater DC area with a huge number of younger APs is that there's a built-in social network and a ton of fun things to do for APs besides try to get into bars or clubs.

[Anonymous]

Take it for what you want, but my good friend is my neighbor and long time LCC and in knowing her over the years I get the scoop on all the APs in the area and she said the older ones are absolutely husband shopping. He actually highly recommends male APs. She said she has never once had to moderate a problem with a male AP. She also seconds the serious German girls.

[Anonymous]

We're really torn on this. I also think emotional maturity is a key consideration. We have had a brilliant and mature-beyond-her-years 19/20 year old German AP (she had a birthday while here). We also have had a 18/19 year old German AP who has the same emotional intelligence and executive function decision making skills as my ten year old.

We're considering a rematch candidate now that is 20 and will turn 21 while here. We're also simultaneously looking at our next summer to summer candidate and she's 25 from Brazil and *could* be husband shopping but I just don't "see" it in this particular person.

[Anonymous]

All of my 5 au pairs have been 21 and younger. I look for the gap-year candidates that are university driven and have a career goal. I agree with the pp that talked about a 24-26yo, should be moving / moved on by that point.

As far as why German? Driving, structure, culturally similar, and smart. However, I have moved on from Germans. Too structured for my kids, not as friendly or fun, and the English was challenging. I think the English level is different depending WHERE in Germany they are from. If they are from the North (by Holland/Denmark) or from the SW, it's better than the middle of the country and far superior from the former East Germany area.

My first two were German and the other three were either Finnish or Swiss. Both the Germans' English was the poorest of them. One was from Cologne, and one from Karlsruhe. (Middle of the country). The Finn and Swiss' English were amazing and both got compliments and were asked if they were natives.

However, I stick with Europeans for the driving, education and because culturally, they are most similar (ergo...avoiding culture shock).

Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

I'd encourage you to start out interviewing a range of ages - as long as the candidates meet your other criteria for childcare experience, driving, and lifestyle/personality match. I did interview several APs in their mid/late 20s and found that for a lot of them, our rules simply would not work. We're not okay with overnight BFs and we don't keep alcohol in the house - the older APs were polite about it but clearly not thrilled. They've had their own apartment for years and at this point in their life, aren't going to adjust well to having to return to a family with house rules like that. I wouldn't have done well with that kind of adjustment at age 24 either.

We would have been fine with an older AP if it had been a good fit, and we actually started out only wanting to consider older ones because we thought age = maturity, but in the interview process, we found that wasn't always the case.