Nanny share bonus dilemma
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Anonymous
| Our nanny is amazing and we share with a couple next door (we are new to the building, but so convenient). Anyway, we proposed a bonus of 2 weeks pay and they only want to do one week (citing that money is tight for them because they have a trip planned). What do we do? We can't give the larger amount we wanted to give if they are giving less but honestly I think only doing 1 week is too stingy particularly because we are splitting the costs from what a nanny would be without the share. I have the resources to give more. Do I counter them and say a week and a half pay? Do want I want? Say we'll cover the difference and give a bigger percentage unknown to the nanny? |
Anonymous
How is this a dilemma exactly? I mean what are you worried about? You proposed a lot of options but none of them have a downside. Just do what you want. Be a grown up. |
Anonymous
| How would the neighbors feel if you gave nanny a larger bonus. They could talk to nanny and tell her that while they'd like to do more, they simply can't afford it. They could simply give theirs and you give yours. Lastly, you could add more to the pot, but give it as a mutual gift. Good for you OP! |
Anonymous
| I would give her one weeks pay and a gift card on top if the cash ... perhaps to a spa or restaurant, etc. |
Anonymous
| I say give the amount that you would like, separately. If the other family needs to minimize costs then that is something they need to account for with the nanny. |
Anonymous
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In my share, one set of employers is always more generous at xmas than the other. They give me a proper bonus while the other family (who is more financially secure) always gives half, but that is expected since they nickel and dime me constantly.
For many reasons besides xmas I prefer one family over the other and that's why I decided to extend my offer to work with them longer and gave my notice to the other after two years. I say give what you want and it may benefit you later on. Your nanny might recipricate your generosity in other ways |
Anonymous
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The other family should give their bonus and you should give yours separately.
There's nothing else to do. |
Anonymous
+1. It also sounds like you're kind of trying to make a point to the other family. One week's pay is not a slap in the face or anything, and most people do a share because they can't afford their own nanny. It sounds like you're doing it for other reasons like convenience, so you have more additional income to give as a gift. So go for it, but it's kind of obnoxious to make the other family feel bad for giving what nearly everyone would say is what they should have budgeted for from the beginning. |
Anonymous
| you are two separate employers. Bonus is up to each family. As a MB, I would be really po'd by the other family (You) "telling me" what I should do. And I'm a non share MB. I do one week which is the norm. |
Anonymous
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You give whatever you want to give.
IMO (as an employer of a nanny) one week bonus is lovely and sufficient. Two weeks is incredibly generous. But your judgment of the other share family's choice and finances is immensely distasteful. |
Anonymous
How did they nickel and dime you? By not rounding everything up for your benefit? Just because you don't get free money for work you didn't do does not mean you are being nickel and dimed. |
Anonymous
The nickel and diming has nothing to do with the bonus. The bonus is just that a bonus. But they treat me and the other family like we're not in a share. Constantly trying to avoid paying for holidays that are outlined in the contract and still expecting me to watch their very sick child, beyond a normal cold, with no regard for te other family. Conveniently Forgetting to pay gas reimbursement Every. Single. Time. The list goes on. They all seem minor at first but add up and when they can't even show appreciation during the holidays I know it's time to go. |
Anonymous
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I say you counter and do a week and half pay which I think is only fair to all three sides in this.
If the other family rejects your counter, I would be livid. How selfish that they can afford the money for a trip for themselves, yet cannot afford to offer the money to the person who cares for their child while they go to work to make that money... Wow. Just wow. |
Anonymous
| I've been doing nanny share for a few years and each family pays me separately and handles xmas differently. |
Anonymous
This is a bizarre post. Should they just pay for food, shelter, and health care, and hand over every other penny to their nanny? People who employ nannies can't go on vacation unless they are willing to pay a bonus equal to the amount someone else tells them it should be, which is more than EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE keeps saying is "industry standard?" For that matter, maybe they don't concur with the OP that she's so great that she deserves a double bonus, and they just said they didn't have the money to shut down the conversation. |