MB looking to find fault with me?
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Anonymous
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I am the nanny for a year old girl and have been her nanny since she was born. I love my charge, love my job and like and respect my MB. No one is quitting, no one is hurt and no one's hair is on fire -- I am posting because I find the below strange and wonder if other nannies experience this...
I think my MB seeks to find minor fault with me. Here is an example: I let the baby play with clean socks and suck on a clean, wet washcloth in the bath (no baby soap on it). When MB saw this she told me not to allow her daughter to do either as she might choke on fibers. Fine. It's her child, her home and her rules. But the rest of the house is not babyproofed - no outlet covers, no padding on sharp edged furniture and no guard rail on a second floor balcony so she isn't terribly concerned with safety apparently and she is very lax about making sure the baby's actual finger-food is in small enough pieces so I find it hard to believe that she is actually concerned about her choking on fibers. I have a couple other examples of things like this -- all minor. I actually googled her behavior and found a few articles about how working mothers do seek to find fault with their child's nanny and was wondering if other nannies experienced this. |
Anonymous
| Her house her rules. |
Anonymous
I already stated that -- actually verbatim -- I am asking if other nannies experienced what could be viewed as purposeful fault-finding. |
Anonymous
| Yep. I've experienced the same crap and always over the smallest thing! I think there was an article in the NYT about this. MB's want more control and this is how they get it. |
Anonymous
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Yes. I have as has been mentioned it stems from insecurity and control.
You are not imagining it. And from experience there isn't a thing you can do to make it better. You pretty much just grin and bare it or find a new position with an MB who is not so insecure. I am not telling you to quit. I was at my position like this for over a year and left on good terms. I enjoy my new family much more nitpicking and fault finding gets old after a while. |
Anonymous
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My MB does something like this every single time she "catches" the kids having way too much fun with me or laughing too hard. Once I was ripping up a piece of paper and it made the baby howl in laughter so I kept doing it. MB, of course, had to come in and she told me not to waste paper! It wasn't even her paper - it was mine that I brought form home!!!
It's a total pain in the ass to have to deal with and it does piss me off but... working mothers are insecure. |
Anonymous
| The first time my charge cried when I left for the night the next morning MB had a list of little things I was doing wrong. |
Anonymous
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It's her way of showing dominance. She feels that her role as mother is being threatened by you. She comes up with uber-strange/strict rules as a way of "marking her territory."
It has nothing to do with you. Adhere to her rules. In the meantime, I would do lots of "Larla loves Mommy" crafts. You could also take pictures of your charge and include things like "I miss you Mom." Anything you can do to show your MB that you have no interest in taking over her role will put her at ease. |
Anonymous
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This isn't the same experience as yours because mine was very toxic and I was miserable and quit.
Former MB was so nitpicky over the stupidest crap. If I took her kids out in the backyard, she'd ask why we didn't go for a walk. If we went to playground A, she'd ask about playground B. If we went to playground B, she'd ask why we didn't go to playground C. There was absolutely no pleasing her. She'd purposefully leave me with food her youngest didn't like as much, and then be annoyed when she didn't eat it. Her criticisms were always in a very accusatory tone. It was a very hostile environment. No surprise she's gone through more nannies after me. |
Anonymous
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My MB told me that she wanted the baby to learn sign language. I got a book and DVD and learned sign language. I started teaching the baby and she caught on pretty quickly. About six months later MB told me to stop using sign language because she [MB] didn't know it.
So... when MB told me she wanted the baby to learn sign language MB didn't realize that she, herself, didn't know it? Yes, OP, this nonsense happens all the time with MBs. Sometimes I don't even know if they realize they are doing it. |
Anonymous
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Maybe the wash clothes are shedding and she was just pointing that out.
Isolated episodes, big deal. |
Anonymous
"Maybe the wash clothes are shedding..."? Huh? OP said it was one example of many. |
Anonymous
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Story of my life as a nanny, OP!!!!!
Example: MB told me in an exasperated tone to please put the washed pacifiers on the left side of the drain board instead of on the right. I said sure - then asked why... MB had no answer. The drain board we use for the baby's things is less than six inches across. Example: MB said she wanted the youngest to start pureed broccoli. I went out and bought fresh broccoli, steamed and blanched it, pureed it and put it into containers in the fridge. When MB saw it she told me that the youngest was too young to have broccoli. I try to let it all roll off my back. It is a dominance play and nothing more. |
Anonymous
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Sorry, OP, but I'm not buying your assumption that she is purposefully finding fault with you. You googling her behavior means nothing and any blog posts you found by similar bitter nannies does not indicate a phenomenon.
Let's just be honest. You got all hurt because your MB dared to tell you you were wrong in something you did. So you bring your broken heart here and start yet another MB hating thread to encourage other disgruntled nannies to bitch about their petty issues and indulge in yet another circle jerk about how superior we nannies are and how stupid MBs are and how dare they give us rules for their children! Clearly they do it because they are so guilt ridden and jealous! Get over yourself. Her house. Her rules. Do your job or get a new one. But stop your whining over having a boss. |
Anonymous
Calm down, Bitter Mommy. Stop taking things so personally and perhaps you can learn from a thread like this. OP clearly stated that it was "her home, her child, her rules" and said that she respected her employer. You should google the Forbes article which was NOT written by a nanny nor was the New York Times article. |