Anyone had an au pair return home due to homesickness?
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Anonymous
| I'm curious as to whether you've experienced this or heard about it happening that an au pair couldn't handle the homesickness and decided she wanted to return home? |
Anonymous
| This happens all the time. Why? |
Anonymous
| Can you provide more context? It's never happened to us but I hear it is common. We do choose girls who have lived away from home for a while. I wonder what might be the profile of an AP who can choose to leave like that. How young are they? How do they find the money to pay for their ticket home? At that age, I don't think my parents would have agreed to let me give up so easily and pay for my return ticket! |
Anonymous
Well that's good to know. It's happening to us ( I'm the OP) and I've only heard of it once before. I didn't think it was so common. Both early 20s (21 and 22), very close to almost smothering parents, never lived away from home, boyfriend at home, raised religious (not sure any of those things matter or not, but those were the things in common). |
Anonymous
| Op - I'm so sorry for you. This is actually more common than people think, and two of the highest indicators of this seem to be smothering parents who can't see their little darling have a hard time even for a short time while she adjusts (ALL AP jobs are hard sometimes) and a boyfriend from home who isn't committed to supporting AP when the going gets tough. We specifically screen out both during matching after AP3 went home for Christmas and didn't come back due to homesickness. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Good luck finding a more mature match next time. |
Anonymous
AP2 had three friends who asked to go home for Christmas, and guess what? Only one returned, and only for one monh while the family was looking for a replacement. I've always screened out girls asking to go back home for the holidays after that. Our year starts in September, so if you are already asking to go home before arriving, that can't be a good sign... |
Anonymous
| Maybe you are not a welcoming or nice host family. Do you work her to death . your kids are brats. It is never one-sided. |
Anonymous
Yawn... |
Anonymous
| Fascinating! I'm the OP and both if the ones I know that went home asked if they could go home early in their year. The au pair that was with a friend of ours asked to go home for Christmas and left just before for good and ours wanted to go home for a wedding a few months into the year. Lesson learned. |
Anonymous
| So that happened to us over the summer. Our old au pair, whom we LOVED, returned to her country and the new au pair arrived. She arrived on Thursday and the following Tuesday she told us she was depressed and wanted to go home. She decided that she didn't want to be an au pair and that she wanted to go to school back home. Now, we had strict parameters for selecting our prior au pair and she was awesome. I ventured out with this next one and it was bad. We're back to our old parameters and our rematch au pair is great. Here are our parameters: South American origin, over age 23, driving ability, infant qualified, institutional child care experience (not just babysitting), and attends weekly religious service. We also look for au pairs with career goals that could benefit from the au pair experience such as teachers, day care operators, etc. With this formula, you're likely to get a mature, responsible, and competent au pair who really wants to do the work of caring for your children. Many young au pairs from more privileged regions tend to party a lot once they get here. You want to screen out the party girls. |
Anonymous
Longtime HM here on year nine of hosting, and my criteria are exactly opposite of PP's except for driving ability. Ours include: Western European, 21 or under, one-on-one babysitting not just institutional care where other adults are present, career plans that include use of English (but not necessarily childcare), and non-religious. Since we started using these criteria about five years ago, as opposed to our former criteria which matched the PPs, we have had only great, responsible, smart APs. Yes, they may go out, but we like them to enjoy themselves. My point is that maturity and responsibility come in many packages. It takes good screening, not just ticking off of boxes, to find the right AP for your family. |
Anonymous
| I had an AP request to rematch because the city was making her homesick and overwhelmed, which she did and we were all much happier. A friend's AP ran away back home illegally. |
Anonymous
| We had an AP return home after 6 weeks because she was having stomach problems. However, I think part of the problem was that she was homesick. Although we screened for no boyfriend, when she arrived she told me she had found one right before coming but he supported her being an AP. Once she started to feel sick, which apparently had also started at home but she ignored it and didn't tell us, she wanted to be home with Mommy and the BF. I think she was immature. |
Anonymous
| Hi Guys what happend if the agency don’t give to the aupair her 72. Hours of English ? |
Anonymous
| I havent heard of any requirement for the agency to teach au pairs english. The training school is about child care and american culture. |