Leaving a mess?

[Anonymous]

Do your MB and DB ever leave you with a huge mess to clean up? My cleaning responsibilities are supposed to be related to the children only, but in addition I end up doing the parents dishes, as every morning I'm met with a sink full of dirty dishes and a dishwasher to unload. No big deal, I'm happy to do it as it keeps the house running smoothly.

This morning, however, I came into work to find a dirty diaper left on the child's dresser, a bowl full of dog food that the toddler had put into the sink and filled with water, and the living room littered with paper the dog had torn up. There was no "I'm sorry, we didn't have time to clean it up, do you mind?" or anything. Had they said that, I would have been happy to pitch in. But since it was just left for me, I feel a little taken advantage of. Especially since I alread spend time during the day cleaning up after their ill behaved dog who destroys everything in its sight.

[Anonymous]

These sound like they'd only take ten minutes max to clean up. Would you rather they left the child stewing in a dirty diaper?

[Anonymous]

Don't touch it. Period. Play in the kids room, the back yard, park, anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These sound like they'd only take ten minutes max to clean up. Would you rather they left the child stewing in a dirty diaper?

Don't be dense. Of course OP doesn't want that. What's hard about throwing a dirty diaper in the trash? Why couldn't the parents do it?

[Anonymous]

OP here, of course I don't want the child left in a dirty diaper. It's not like I walked in and they were in the middle of changing the child and left it there. The diaper had obviously been changed much earlier in the morning, if not the evening before. If you came home and your nanny had left a dirty diaper sitting out all day, how would you feel about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These sound like they'd only take ten minutes max to clean up. Would you rather they left the child stewing in a dirty diaper?

Don't be dense. Of course OP doesn't want that. What's hard about throwing a dirty diaper in the trash? Why couldn't the parents do it?

MB here. Maybe as they were getting ready to put the diaper in the trash something happened and they got distracted. Like you said, it's almost as easy to put the diaper in the trash as it is to lay it on the dresser. Why assume the worst?

I resent the idea that I see on this board that I need to clean up before the nanny comes over. If I was washing clothes and left them in the dryer, it's because I got busy and didn't have a chance to fold them. It's not a passive aggressive message for the nanny. Same with a dishwasher that needs unloaded. Or dishes in the sink. The nannies who walk into a house on Monday morning and find a whole weekend's worth of mess built up for them have very valid points that the MB and DB need to clean up after themselves. The nannies who walk into a house in the morning and find loose ends (which is what I would describe for OP's post) need to get over the idea that the house has to be left perfectly clean each morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These sound like they'd only take ten minutes max to clean up. Would you rather they left the child stewing in a dirty diaper?

Don't be dense. Of course OP doesn't want that. What's hard about throwing a dirty diaper in the trash? Why couldn't the parents do it?

MB here. Maybe as they were getting ready to put the diaper in the trash something happened and they got distracted. Like you said, it's almost as easy to put the diaper in the trash as it is to lay it on the dresser. Why assume the worst?

I resent the idea that I see on this board that I need to clean up before the nanny comes over. If I was washing clothes and left them in the dryer, it's because I got busy and didn't have a chance to fold them. It's not a passive aggressive message for the nanny. Same with a dishwasher that needs unloaded. Or dishes in the sink. The nannies who walk into a house on Monday morning and find a whole weekend's worth of mess built up for them have very valid points that the MB and DB need to clean up after themselves. The nannies who walk into a house in the morning and find loose ends (which is what I would describe for OP's post) need to get over the idea that the house has to be left perfectly clean each morning.

The only exception I would take with your argument is that anything that poses a hazard to a child should not be left because it will have to be picked up. Same thing for any mess that interferes with her ability to do her job. Otherwise, you are exactly right.

[Anonymous]

Nope. You leave the house in decent condition.

[Anonymous]

These situations are always tough. On one hand the nanny is not responsible for cleaning up the parents mess. On the other hand, the parents work all day and then come home to kids and then they have to work all evening. I don't blame parents for not wanting to make sure the house is clean at the end of a long day. Whenever I start a new job I assume I'm going to be doing more housework then we originally agree on, which is why I command a higher hourly rate then the average. Then the parents don't have to feel like their whole life is work and I don't feel taken advantage of. I'm sure I've missed out on some job opportunities because of my higher rate, but I've never been fired or let go so clearly the parents are happy too.

[Anonymous]

What it sounds to me like is that they are slowly and progressively moving towards "job creep" which means that little by little you will find yourself doing more extra work until before you know it, you will be scrubbing their toilets and mopping up their kitchen floors.

Nip it in the bud and while it is not easy, just try to work around the mess if you can.

Just attend to your own cleaning duties as necessary and if they complain, just simply state that you were simply busy caring for the child and cleaning up after him/her that you just didn't have enough time perhaps like they didn't earlier on.

[Anonymous]

As a MB, I try really hard to make sure the house is in a clean and tidy state when a nanny or babysitter starts work. It's not always easy but I do find it's a two-way street, so that on those days that life has been too hectic the nanny will usually help out if time allows (e.g. load dishwasher, pick up stuff in living room). I'm a neat freak but have still forgotten a dirty diaper by the change table when dealing with an upset child or distracted by a ringing phone. Maybe they were just exhausted and/or cleaning up all that stuff might have made them late for work?

If this happens to me, I also try to make sure to say sorry or thanks, but in the midst of a busy life sometimes the niceties fall by the wayside a bit.

If they were consistently messy and not regretful about the mess/ungrateful for the help, this would definitely be an issue, but it doesn't sound like this is the case?

[Anonymous]

If I came home and nanny had left 1 diaper out or 1 dish in the sink, I wouldn't think anything of it. Things happen when you have young kids and sometimes you forget to do something (like rinse out the dish) because you hear a crash in the play room and go over to see what happened. If it's a couple of things and not every day, I wouldn't care.

[Anonymous]

Ripped up paper all over the room will have to be picked up by the nanny because it is not safe for small kids. The diaper or a dish in the sink would not bother me at all, I have even done that a time or two. But there is no way they failed to notice the dogs mess. Really, they should have acknowledged it and asked you kindly to help them out. Instead they assumed you would do it, implying they dont understand the boundaries of your duties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These sound like they'd only take ten minutes max to clean up. Would you rather they left the child stewing in a dirty diaper?

Don't be dense. Of course OP doesn't want that. What's hard about throwing a dirty diaper in the trash? Why couldn't the parents do it?

MB here. Maybe as they were getting ready to put the diaper in the trash something happened and they got distracted. Like you said, it's almost as easy to put the diaper in the trash as it is to lay it on the dresser. Why assume the worst?

I resent the idea that I see on this board that I need to clean up before the nanny comes over. If I was washing clothes and left them in the dryer, it's because I got busy and didn't have a chance to fold them. It's not a passive aggressive message for the nanny. Same with a dishwasher that needs unloaded. Or dishes in the sink. The nannies who walk into a house on Monday morning and find a whole weekend's worth of mess built up for them have very valid points that the MB and DB need to clean up after themselves. The nannies who walk into a house in the morning and find loose ends (which is what I would describe for OP's post) need to get over the idea that the house has to be left perfectly clean each morning.

You describe a sink full of dirty dishes every morning as "loose ends"?

[Anonymous]

MB here. The vast majority of the time, the house is clean and ready for the nanny. I don't expect her to do my dishes or any other cleaning unrelated to DD. That said, I have occasionally run out in the morning and left a cereal bowl or coffee mug in the sink. I would not be bothered if it were there when I came home since it isn't the nanny's job. However, every time it has happened, the nanny has put them in the dishwasher. She has even loaded laundry because she noticed the basket was full. She looks for little ways to make my life easier and I'm always grateful when she goes above and beyond.

She almost always leaves the house clean as well, but there have been occasions when they ran out of time doing something and haven't cleaned up. I don't mind and will clean after her when necessary.

I like to think we both respect and support each other.

(Oh, and before anyone worries, she is paid well and I thank her every day.)