Leaving a mess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. The vast majority of the time, the house is clean and ready for the nanny. I don't expect her to do my dishes or any other cleaning unrelated to DD. That said, I have occasionally run out in the morning and left a cereal bowl or coffee mug in the sink. I would not be bothered if it were there when I came home since it isn't the nanny's job. However, every time it has happened, the nanny has put them in the dishwasher. She has even loaded laundry because she noticed the basket was full. She looks for little ways to make my life easier and I'm always grateful when she goes above and beyond.

She almost always leaves the house clean as well, but there have been occasions when they ran out of time doing something and haven't cleaned up. I don't mind and will clean after her when necessary.

I like to think we both respect and support each other.

(Oh, and before anyone worries, she is paid well and I thank her every day.)

THIS is totally different than the OP, whose family leaves dirty dishes piled in the sink every morning, whose dishwasher always needs to be unloaded so she can load those she uses throughout the day, etc.

When you leave the house in presentable condition every day, you set the standard that they house is kept this way, which is why your nanny leaves it that way in return. And also why when you occasionally leave a bowl in the sink it's not there at the end of the day, and why when she occasionally leaves the house messier than normal you don't mind dealing with it when you get home. Sadly, you aren't the OP's nanny family. Which is why she might now be considering leaving stuff in a mess to "train" the family.... (or why she's being counseled by some to do this) and that's when things start going downhill....

same thing when a husband/wife start doing this to each other to try to "train" the other to do dishes, make the bed, etc. It almost never accomplishes what you want and always builds frustration and resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These sound like they'd only take ten minutes max to clean up. Would you rather they left the child stewing in a dirty diaper?

Don't be dense. Of course OP doesn't want that. What's hard about throwing a dirty diaper in the trash? Why couldn't the parents do it?

MB here. Maybe as they were getting ready to put the diaper in the trash something happened and they got distracted. Like you said, it's almost as easy to put the diaper in the trash as it is to lay it on the dresser. Why assume the worst?

I resent the idea that I see on this board that I need to clean up before the nanny comes over. If I was washing clothes and left them in the dryer, it's because I got busy and didn't have a chance to fold them. It's not a passive aggressive message for the nanny. Same with a dishwasher that needs unloaded. Or dishes in the sink. The nannies who walk into a house on Monday morning and find a whole weekend's worth of mess built up for them have very valid points that the MB and DB need to clean up after themselves. The nannies who walk into a house in the morning and find loose ends (which is what I would describe for OP's post) need to get over the idea that the house has to be left perfectly clean each morning.

Totally agree. It always irks me when I see posts saying "MB left her cereal bowl in the sink for me to clean." Either you are responsible for cleaning, in which case it is for you, or you are not in which case MB is just a human living in her house (expecting to get to the bowl later but appreciative if you get it) and she need not apologize for not making preparing the house as if company were arriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your MB and DB ever leave you with a huge mess to clean up?

No, but my nanny leaves a huge mess for me to clean up almost every day. I leave the house spotless, no easy task when I have to clean up after her as well.

[Anonymous]

We negotiated light housework when we hired our nanny which included dishwasher and laundry. However, I have never once left dirty dishes in the sink at the start of the morning - we clean up at night and run the dishwasher. She then unloads it in the morning and re-loads it with breakfast and lunch dishes. As for laundry, I also try to start laundry first thing in the morning when I am here, so she can deal with it during nap time (rather than having to try to cram it in when the kids are awake). I think it's mostly about mutual respect - do you feel your family respects you? I respect my nanny and her work ethic and love the relationship she has with my children. That said, I have definitely left a dirty pot in the sink and she's left it for me at the end of the day (no biggie, not her job) and she's left me messes that she ran out of time to clean up (found basement playroom a mess on Saturday right before a play date) - all of that said, it's the exception not the rule and that's just life. . .

[Anonymous]

Again, the OP isn't talking about parents leaving a dish or two around. She is talking about trifling employers leaving heaps of dirty dinner and breakfast dishes around expecting their nanny to be Hazel the maid and clean up after them. I worked for a family or two in this matter, I am a clean person and it irked me everyday to see how lazy some people are. After the child go to bed what is wrong with cleaning the kitchen?No one cleans for me, I clean up after myself.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny cleans odds and ends that I've left. She also sometimes leaves her dirty glasses in the sink or doesn't have time to clean the play area where she'd been with DD before leaving, which I will happily do.

[Anonymous]

I don't even leave a glass dirty in the sink that I may have drank from. As far as leaving any toys still around because there isn't time to clean up is pure bull. If it tajes me an additional twn to fifteen minutes to clean up I will gladly stay extra to clean. No one will be able to throw in my face how they had to clean up after me.

[Anonymous]

Again, the OP isn't talking about parents leaving a dish or two around. She is talking about trifling employers leaving heaps of dirty dinner and breakfast dishes around expecting their nanny to be Hazel the maid and clean up after them. I worked for a family or two in this matter, I am a clean person and it irked me everyday to see how lazy some people are. After the child go to bed what is wrong with cleaning the kitchen?No one cleans for me, I clean up after myself.

Clearly, OP's problem isn't common.

[Anonymous]

Pure rubbish! O.P's problem is an every day issue, I even posted the same scenerio a month or two ago. I just left a job where my boss was a slob, they would leave dirty
dishes from dinner.On top of that they would just throw dirty breakfast as well as left over food and drinks in the sink. Their marble counters would be greasy, the floors dirty etc.I wouldnt even take off my shoes unless I swept the entire place. My day would start with cleaning because I can't stand to be around filth. The family told me how
much they miss me,I don't even want to see the condition this house is in now!