Au pair watches me clean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’re a woman, yes? Does your husband ever clean up after a meal? If not, I can see how your AP might think that cleanup is a task that you’ve agreed is yours. I wouldn’t want to help out, either, if my host father just peaced out after every meal and the womenfolk were expected to clean. I’d be like, that’s your weird, regressive dynamic, not mine.

+1. I wonder what the dad is doing. Probably sits on couch

Jeez. I am the OP and checked back today. When I pick up the kitchen DH takes the kids upstairs and does bathtime and gets them all ready for bed. I don’t like doing bath (at all) or brushing my DDs hair or doing teeth checks which is why I asked to have the dinner clean up shift. Sometimes we switch if he wants a break but I like that 20 minutes of alone time, except when it is not alone because my AP watches. My husband does plenty around the house so I’m not sure why distribution of labor is an issue here.

Then you're more upset about her company that not helping?

[Anonymous]

You get what you pay for !!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a child is old enough to walk to the table, they’re old enough to bring one (scraped) plastic dish to the counter/sink area. This is my expectation of everyone, and it’s crystal clear. Kids start emptying the dishwasher at 2-3 (silverware), and as people can reach higher, they do higher dishes.

Currently, twin 5yo take care of the colanders, kids’ dishes, silverware, cutting boards, and serving utensils. The 9yo takes care of knives, the can opener, the vegetable peeler, dinner lates, water glasses, and water bottles. I take care of snack plates, bowls, mixing bowls, plastic storage containers, the blender, the juicer, the food processor, the mixer, the rice cooker, teacups, coffee cups, and platters. It takes about 3 minutes for the four of us to empty it, start to finish. The children are capable of emptying the table while I put leftovers into containers, then they put them in the refrigerator while I load the dishwasher. Again, it takes under 5 minutes. The parents don’t eat with the kids and usually aren’t in the area when they eat.

Look for an AP who is used to doing things around the house AND is of the opinion that children will rise to expectations.

-Live-in nanny

+1

[Anonymous]

Does AP come from a culture with a lot of domestic help?

When I was in high school we hosted an exchange student from South America. He was completely unfamiliar with cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. When the situation was explained to him, he of course agreed to a help. He did not like it, but he didn't complain. He soon saw that all the middle-class households in his friends' circle also did not have domestic help.

[Anonymous]

My current AP is from Brazil and has re-defined the word lazy. Honestly, I'm counting the days until she goes. She's a complete slob and mess. She NEVER cleans the joint kitchen (which she dirties multiple times per day) and never cleans her personal kitchen downstairs. A few weeks ago, DH and I spent 3 hours cleaning her kitchen.

When I was discussing our incoming AP with CC, they told me to run with stereotypes. New AP coming from Europe.