Potentially sad outcome with nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny who was doing everything right to stay healthy and am in bed with Covid now I say you need to respect other people when they are scared of getting Covid. I would prefer you respect others who want to be hygienic. You will be much more inconvenienced if she gets Covid. Im telling you I'm in bed writing this and it is no joke.

Wow, I am so sorry, PP. Do you have any idea how you contracted it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you have your pediatrician talk to her about how kids transmit COVID? If she's an older lady she may be really scared of getting it.

We now know that asytomatic children can spread the virus. She has every reason to be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you have your pediatrician talk to her about how kids transmit COVID? If she's an older lady she may be really scared of getting it.

We now know that asytomatic children can spread the virus. She has every reason to be concerned.

THat isn't news - we've known that since this was declared a pandemic, months ago.

Everyone is concerned. (Everyone sane, that is.) The trick is balancing risk/mental health/physical health/semblance of normal life. Everyone's individual assessment is just that - individual, which makes decision making in families or broader social units horribly fraught. This same tension is also being played out on some level in virtually every work place around the world. There are no perfect answers unless one is ok w/ being a total shut-in.

[Anonymous]

OP, we are still in a pandemic. I'm with your nanny, she's not scared. She's aware of what's going on and with kids getting infected in schools and now they're back to online classes.

I'm considerate and so she is. This pandemic isn't about fear, is about being considerate and everybody is doing thier part to not make it worse. And wear a mask to protect others.

You can get more infected in indoor facilities with AC than outdoors. And those who doesn't wear a mask have more chances to infect others and get infected. Many young people cured from the virus still have breathing problems for months now. We don't know much about Covid-19. It's better to believe in science and be considerate to help everyone and continue with wearing a mask.

States like texas, florida reopened early and most don't wanna wear a mask and are doing awful. They don't respect science, just follows the ignorant politicians.
Opening facilities doesn't mean we are going back to normal. Dr Fauci says we might get a vaccine this December.
Younger kids need childcare but older kids can stay home until next year.
Poor people have nothing waiting for them after this pandemic. Don't worry, soon you will have bbq with your friends...

[Anonymous]

You would be having a fit if she were doing the same and you were staying home. You are asking her to put her life on the line for you and your kids but unwilling to even attempt to understand her fear
You are despicable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is in her mid-thirties and is truly anxious. She is talking to her therapist this evening about how to work her way through it.

We would all love for this to work out but I'm not particularly optimistic. This is a time of such acute risk management and anxiety for everyone and it's not going away soon. And we don't want our kids living w/ a constant atmosphere of fear - or feeling like they can't hug the third most important adult in their daily lives.

Even if we find ways to help her feel more comfortable with today's risk, there will be something else tomorrow or next week or next month.

Listen to your gut and move on. Children require hugs at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your nanny ends up needing a new job, send her my way! Got a teeny baby and are in search of someone as obsessive about social distancing as we are.

Same here!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your nanny ends up needing a new job, send her my way! Got a teeny baby and are in search of someone as obsessive about social distancing as we are.

Same here!!

Same here!

Honestly OP - as one poster said, if you were being careful and the nanny was playing fast and loose with covid, you would be reacting worse than she is right now. As a physician, I am perplexed by your willingness to expose your family. Im sorry nut youre nanny is right on this one.

[Anonymous]

Any updates OP?
NO judgment for whatever you & your nanny decided was best, as it's your family and you need to do what you feel is right for both parties.

I'm just strangely invested in this and would like to know how it all worked out.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Our nanny is still with us. We have a running conversation about comfort levels, precautions, levels of risk, etc... and some of those conversations have been difficult.

The kids did their summer camps and we had our family vacation in August. The kids are doing outdoor sports and playdates this fall. We (the parents) continue to try to allow as much normalcy for our kids, within what we consider to be acceptable/low levels of risk (and following all guidelines). We don't do anything with or for the kids that our nanny doesn't know about, and we maintain a social circle of folks we've been socializing with (all outdoors) since the Spring.

We talked candidly, more than once, about whether this job continued to be right for her. We all (she, me, my husband) agreed that if we were hiring a nanny right now she wouldn't choose us and we wouldn't choose her as a comfortable fit during the pandemic. We also agreed that as we're hitting the 4 year mark of her employment with us that we all would make compromises for each other that we wouldn't otherwise make because we would all prefer for this to work.

So we continue to work it through and it continues to be imperfect, though significantly less stressful than it was when I first posted. Navigating the personal risk and then the various dynamics of employment is really hard and there are days where I am sure each of us feels like it would be easier to give up and walk away. But the challenges of all of the uncertainly and fear around COVID-19 are true for everyone, regardless of situation. So she and we both acknowledge that this is about finding our way through this temporary nightmare as best we can, rather than expecting some perfect solution that doesn't exist.

That was a lot of rambling, sorry! To sum up, we are all doing our best and working our way through it. Some days we want to quit but in the big picture we're all on the same side and we're trying to take care of each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Our nanny is still with us. We have a running conversation about comfort levels, precautions, levels of risk, etc... and some of those conversations have been difficult.

The kids did their summer camps and we had our family vacation in August. The kids are doing outdoor sports and playdates this fall. We (the parents) continue to try to allow as much normalcy for our kids, within what we consider to be acceptable/low levels of risk (and following all guidelines). We don't do anything with or for the kids that our nanny doesn't know about, and we maintain a social circle of folks we've been socializing with (all outdoors) since the Spring.

We talked candidly, more than once, about whether this job continued to be right for her. We all (she, me, my husband) agreed that if we were hiring a nanny right now she wouldn't choose us and we wouldn't choose her as a comfortable fit during the pandemic. We also agreed that as we're hitting the 4 year mark of her employment with us that we all would make compromises for each other that we wouldn't otherwise make because we would all prefer for this to work.

So we continue to work it through and it continues to be imperfect, though significantly less stressful than it was when I first posted. Navigating the personal risk and then the various dynamics of employment is really hard and there are days where I am sure each of us feels like it would be easier to give up and walk away. But the challenges of all of the uncertainly and fear around COVID-19 are true for everyone, regardless of situation. So she and we both acknowledge that this is about finding our way through this temporary nightmare as best we can, rather than expecting some perfect solution that doesn't exist.

That was a lot of rambling, sorry! To sum up, we are all doing our best and working our way through it. Some days we want to quit but in the big picture we're all on the same side and we're trying to take care of each other.

What compromises are you making in deference to her preferences, OP? I see that you and your kids are doing a lot of activities. Did you rein in some of your plans to make your nanny more comfortable?

[Anonymous]

She has every reason to be afraid and you are
fool for thinking it is fine for you to expose her to a virus that killks people of all ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has every reason to be afraid and you are
fool for thinking it is fine for you to expose her to a virus that killks people of all ages.

You're just trolling for trouble and sport.

Yawn...