Constantly feeling like a failure

[Anonymous]

Have you talked to the parents about this? Do they not see it as a problem?

[Anonymous]

If you are not happy the easy answer is to quit. The kids are not respecting you and the parents sound like they aren't supporting you. Find another job where you feel as the family is treating you like one of them and they aren't making you feel this way. Period simple solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been a nanny for over 15 years. My current job is making me constantly feel like a failure. The kids are older school age. They have constant demands that I try desperately to fulfill. But I can’t meet every expectation every time in a timely manner according to their standards. They want service and they want it now ! Usually they want things at the same time. At dinner one needs more water the other more ketchup. I didn’t cut food small enough or I cut it too small and they won’t eat it so I must cook again.

Today I left something in the car from school pickup and you would have thought I killed the dog with how upset the child was. Anyone else constantly feel like a horrible nanny? I try my hardest , I try to anticipate needs and wants but they switch things up on me.

Sounds like my life as a mom. I got out of my car yesterday at 5pm and walked into my 10&13yr old. That is when the real workday started. It is one demand after the next. Homework, chores, dinner practice, taking care of the pets, fights over screen time...the list goes on and on and every step of the way is uphill. I was non stop with them from 5pm-930pm. DH didn't come home from a meeting until 1030pm. Older kids are not easy! I dream of the days when my kids were toddlers and napped and went to bed early. The days when dinner consisted of baby carrots, apple slices and cut up avocado.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been a nanny for over 15 years. My current job is making me constantly feel like a failure. The kids are older school age. They have constant demands that I try desperately to fulfill. But I can’t meet every expectation every time in a timely manner according to their standards. They want service and they want it now ! Usually they want things at the same time. At dinner one needs more water the other more ketchup. I didn’t cut food small enough or I cut it too small and they won’t eat it so I must cook again.

Today I left something in the car from school pickup and you would have thought I killed the dog with how upset the child was. Anyone else constantly feel like a horrible nanny? I try my hardest , I try to anticipate needs and wants but they switch things up on me.

Sounds like my life as a mom. I got out of my car yesterday at 5pm and walked into my 10&13yr old. That is when the real workday started. It is one demand after the next. Homework, chores, dinner practice, taking care of the pets, fights over screen time...the list goes on and on and every step of the way is uphill. I was non stop with them from 5pm-930pm. DH didn't come home from a meeting until 1030pm. Older kids are not easy! I dream of the days when my kids were toddlers and napped and went to bed early. The days when dinner consisted of baby carrots, apple slices and cut up avocado.[/quote
10 and 13 year olds can make dinner at least once a week for the family. No screen time on weekdays except for school work. If they don't listen and aren't polite they don't get taken to activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been a nanny for over 15 years. My current job is making me constantly feel like a failure. The kids are older school age. They have constant demands that I try desperately to fulfill. But I can’t meet every expectation every time in a timely manner according to their standards. They want service and they want it now ! Usually they want things at the same time. At dinner one needs more water the other more ketchup. I didn’t cut food small enough or I cut it too small and they won’t eat it so I must cook again.

Today I left something in the car from school pickup and you would have thought I killed the dog with how upset the child was. Anyone else constantly feel like a horrible nanny? I try my hardest , I try to anticipate needs and wants but they switch things up on me.

Sounds like my life as a mom. I got out of my car yesterday at 5pm and walked into my 10&13yr old. That is when the real workday started. It is one demand after the next. Homework, chores, dinner practice, taking care of the pets, fights over screen time...the list goes on and on and every step of the way is uphill. I was non stop with them from 5pm-930pm. DH didn't come home from a meeting until 1030pm. Older kids are not easy! I dream of the days when my kids were toddlers and napped and went to bed early. The days when dinner consisted of baby carrots, apple slices and cut up avocado.

1. No screens on weekdays, except as required for school.
2. 10 and 13 are old enough to meal prep every afternoon, and help cook.
3. 13 is old enough to have one reminder for homework and then deal with consequences for themself (barring sn). 10 may need a few reminders. Asking you for help is always allowed.
4. Pets are fed before they eat. They can clean the litter box or walk the dog before using the bathroom. And they can brush/wash the pet before bathing. By setting the expectation that the pets come first, they are learning to prioritize others’ (dependents’) needs.
5. Practice reminders should follow the same routine as homework. Again, help is fine as requested.
6. Bedtime should be early enough to get a minimum of 9 hours of sleep, so unless your kids get up after 7, they should be in bed by 8.30-9 (to read), lights out by 9.30.

It sounds like you are infantilizing them. Let them learn NOW to be productive, effective and contributing members of the household, school and world.