Constantly feeling like a failure

[Anonymous]

Op here. The kids treat the parents the same way. I have put up with it for years now. But it’s taking a toll on my confidence. At first I just tried to let it roll off my back. But after years of being screamed at for not getting something instantly it’s really affecting my self esteem

I’m not going to quit, the kids won’t change. But my heart is hurting over being hated so much by them. Everyday I feel like I’m failing. I need 2 of me to keep up with there demands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The kids treat the parents the same way. I have put up with it for years now. But it’s taking a toll on my confidence. At first I just tried to let it roll off my back. But after years of being screamed at for not getting something instantly it’s really affecting my self esteem

I’m not going to quit, the kids won’t change. But my heart is hurting over being hated so much by them. Everyday I feel like I’m failing. I need 2 of me to keep up with there demands.

Why aren’t you going to quit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The kids treat the parents the same way. I have put up with it for years now. But it’s taking a toll on my confidence. At first I just tried to let it roll off my back. But after years of being screamed at for not getting something instantly it’s really affecting my self esteem

I’m not going to quit, the kids won’t change. But my heart is hurting over being hated so much by them. Everyday I feel like I’m failing. I need 2 of me to keep up with there demands.

Why aren’t you going to quit?

Because it’s a job. It’s not a hard job . I just have to suck up my pride and deal with the disrespect. Sometimes it gets hard. I just wish the kids didn’t have such rage in them. I try so hard to do everything I possibly can for them and it’s never enough. I know that , it will never get better but it’s srill a job and I don’t want to be unemployed. I try and just ignore the hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The kids treat the parents the same way. I have put up with it for years now. But it’s taking a toll on my confidence. At first I just tried to let it roll off my back. But after years of being screamed at for not getting something instantly it’s really affecting my self esteem

I’m not going to quit, the kids won’t change. But my heart is hurting over being hated so much by them. Everyday I feel like I’m failing. I need 2 of me to keep up with there demands.

Why aren’t you going to quit?

Because it’s a job. It’s not a hard job . I just have to suck up my pride and deal with the disrespect. Sometimes it gets hard. I just wish the kids didn’t have such rage in them. I try so hard to do everything I possibly can for them and it’s never enough. I know that , it will never get better but it’s srill a job and I don’t want to be unemployed. I try and just ignore the hate.

So you are a glutton for punishment? I can’t relate and you sound like you need therapy. You clearly have self esteem issues and delusions. Good luck being miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The kids treat the parents the same way. I have put up with it for years now. But it’s taking a toll on my confidence. At first I just tried to let it roll off my back. But after years of being screamed at for not getting something instantly it’s really affecting my self esteem

I’m not going to quit, the kids won’t change. But my heart is hurting over being hated so much by them. Everyday I feel like I’m failing. I need 2 of me to keep up with there demands.

Why aren’t you going to quit?

Because it’s a job. It’s not a hard job . I just have to suck up my pride and deal with the disrespect. Sometimes it gets hard. I just wish the kids didn’t have such rage in them. I try so hard to do everything I possibly can for them and it’s never enough. I know that , it will never get better but it’s srill a job and I don’t want to be unemployed. I try and just ignore the hate.

So look for a new job before you quit.

It’s one thing to come here and ask whether you should quit. Totally another to realize that we’ve spent the time read and think about the situation, give well thought out options, and you’re going to just continue on, same as always. If you just want to vent, clearly label your OP as such, so we can move on.

[Anonymous]

So, you aren’t going to do anything to make your situation better, OP? You’re just going to “wish”?

What do you want us to say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you aren’t going to do anything to make your situation better, OP? You’re just going to “wish”?

What do you want us to say?

Not sure what I’m looking for. I guess I’m just hoping I’m not the only one who feels like a failure everyday after work knowing they aren’t good enough at their job. My best is not enough for these kids and it hurts me. My job is to get them what they want when they want it. I try but things take time. Yes that’s an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you aren’t going to do anything to make your situation better, OP? You’re just going to “wish”?

What do you want us to say?

Not sure what I’m looking for. I guess I’m just hoping I’m not the only one who feels like a failure everyday after work knowing they aren’t good enough at their job. My best is not enough for these kids and it hurts me. My job is to get them what they want when they want it. I try but things take time. Yes that’s an excuse.

Your charges are brats and you, in all honesty, are a doormat and hurting them by not being the adult. What do you think you are teaching them?

Beyond getting a new job, you need therapy, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you aren’t going to do anything to make your situation better, OP? You’re just going to “wish”?

What do you want us to say?

Not sure what I’m looking for. I guess I’m just hoping I’m not the only one who feels like a failure everyday after work knowing they aren’t good enough at their job. My best is not enough for these kids and it hurts me. My job is to get them what they want when they want it. I try but things take time. Yes that’s an excuse.

Your charges are brats and you, in all honesty, are a doormat and hurting them by not being the adult. What do you think you are teaching them?

Beyond getting a new job, you need therapy, OP.

Honestly, I agree.

I’ve been hired several times to come in and turn around behavior and entitlement that was enabled by the previous nanny or au pair. According to them, the job was to keep the kids happy and do things for them.

It’s not.

Your job is to teach them to be responsible, polite, capable children who will one day become responsible, polite, capable adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you aren’t going to do anything to make your situation better, OP? You’re just going to “wish”?

What do you want us to say?

Not sure what I’m looking for. I guess I’m just hoping I’m not the only one who feels like a failure everyday after work knowing they aren’t good enough at their job. My best is not enough for these kids and it hurts me. My job is to get them what they want when they want it. I try but things take time. Yes that’s an excuse.

Your charges are brats and you, in all honesty, are a doormat and hurting them by not being the adult. What do you think you are teaching them?

Beyond getting a new job, you need therapy, OP.

Honestly, I agree.

I’ve been hired several times to come in and turn around behavior and entitlement that was enabled by the previous nanny or au pair. According to them, the job was to keep the kids happy and do things for them.

It’s not.

Your job is to teach them to be responsible, polite, capable children who will one day become responsible, polite, capable adults.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you aren’t going to do anything to make your situation better, OP? You’re just going to “wish”?

What do you want us to say?

Not sure what I’m looking for. I guess I’m just hoping I’m not the only one who feels like a failure everyday after work knowing they aren’t good enough at their job. My best is not enough for these kids and it hurts me. My job is to get them what they want when they want it. I try but things take time. Yes that’s an excuse.

Your job as a nanny is not to get them what they want!!! Your job is to keep them safe and to help them become decent human beings. It sounds like that is the part you are failing at.

Read the PPs advice on how to handle the situations you are describing. That is what a decent nanny would do. Do that.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have to let them behave that way with you! Come on! Teach them how to behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been a nanny for over 15 years. My current job is making me constantly feel like a failure. The kids are older school age. They have constant demands that I try desperately to fulfill. But I can’t meet every expectation every time in a timely manner according to their standards. They want service and they want it now ! Usually they want things at the same time. At dinner one needs more water the other more ketchup. I didn’t cut food small enough or I cut it too small and they won’t eat it so I must cook again.

Today I left something in the car from school pickup and you would have thought I killed the dog with how upset the child was. Anyone else constantly feel like a horrible nanny? I try my hardest , I try to anticipate needs and wants but they switch things up on me.

I am nanny as well
I felt sane if I was in your position
Please try to find another job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you aren’t going to do anything to make your situation better, OP? You’re just going to “wish”?

What do you want us to say?

Not sure what I’m looking for. I guess I’m just hoping I’m not the only one who feels like a failure everyday after work knowing they aren’t good enough at their job. My best is not enough for these kids and it hurts me. My job is to get them what they want when they want it. I try but things take time. Yes that’s an excuse.

Your charges are brats and you, in all honesty, are a doormat and hurting them by not being the adult. What do you think you are teaching them?

Beyond getting a new job, you need therapy, OP.

Honestly, I agree.

I’ve been hired several times to come in and turn around behavior and entitlement that was enabled by the previous nanny or au pair. According to them, the job was to keep the kids happy and do things for them.

It’s not.

Your job is to teach them to be responsible, polite, capable children who will one day become responsible, polite, capable adults.

+1.

This! You and their parents are enabling this horrible behavior. Kids don't know how to hate until it's taught to them (except for the true psychopaths but those are so few). I feel sorry for these kids' teachers and future coworkers and spouses.

[Anonymous]

No, OP. When I was being verbally abused at a job, I drew very clear boundaries, and looked for a new job. And then I gave my notice and left, and told my employer exactly why I was leaving.

You are verbally abusive.
You threaten me, which is unacceptable.
You threw something at me.

So I am leaving because I will not put up with abuse. You are welcome for me not suing you for physical assault.