Considering letting go of nanny versus tracking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to be a Nanny, before we all had cellphones with cameras. You are micromanaging, If your son is happy to go to her in the morning and seems happy at the end of the day and she seems to care about him stop worrying about what they do all day.
I used to keep a calender by their phone and I would write in their if we had a playdate planned or an outing really so I knew what I was doing, but it was always open for them to see. Aside from this they never asked what I did during the day.

All jobs have accountability when you are on employer time. In addition, you have someone else child. It is reasonable for them to know where their child is at all times. You employers may not care, but most good parents sdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to be a Nanny, before we all had cellphones with cameras. You are micromanaging, If your son is happy to go to her in the morning and seems happy at the end of the day and she seems to care about him stop worrying about what they do all day.
I used to keep a calender by their phone and I would write in their if we had a playdate planned or an outing really so I knew what I was doing, but it was always open for them to see. Aside from this they never asked what I did during the day.

All jobs have accountability when you are on employer time. In addition, you have someone else child. It is reasonable for them to know where their child is at all times. You employers may not care, but most good parents sdo.

With this logic, most good parents stay at home and raise their kids. That way they know what their child is doing every single second of the day. If you hire outside help, you have to release some control. That doesn’t make you a bad parent.

[Anonymous]

How about texting and asking her where she is what the babies are doing and for a picture at that moment communication is key on both ends

[Anonymous]

Same nanny again
My question
If something happens, how do you explain yourself to the police/ambulance/doctors/jurors
How do you explain
I don’t know where they were
I don’t know what they were doing
I didn’t know my baby was sleeping in a queen size bed
I didn’t know my 8 month old was eating chicken nuggets
I didn’t know my child was watching TV all day
I didn’t know my 2 year old took 2 hour naps strapped inside a car in his car seat
I didn’t know my 2 year old was playing with a knife he got into by accident.....
HOW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same nanny again
My question
If something happens, how do you explain yourself to the police/ambulance/doctors/jurors
How do you explain
I don’t know where they were
I don’t know what they were doing
I didn’t know my baby was sleeping in a queen size bed
I didn’t know my 8 month old was eating chicken nuggets
I didn’t know my child was watching TV all day
I didn’t know my 2 year old took 2 hour naps strapped inside a car in his car seat
I didn’t know my 2 year old was playing with a knife he got into by accident.....
HOW?

Most of those aren’t dangerous. I agree, this “nanny” isn’t a professional. But you’re being inflammatory for no reason. Also, you have a mix of dangerous (knives), preference (tv, chicken nuggets), and suggestions (napping in car seats). Please stop conflating issues.

Finally, most nannies aren’t micromanaged enough that the parents knows the exact time and route the nanny and child use to get to other places. If plans change during the day, they may not even know where they are. It does NOT mean that the nanny is unprofessional, nor should the parent be expected to feel guilty for concentrating on work, especially if they are unreachable during work hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same nanny again
My question
If something happens, how do you explain yourself to the police/ambulance/doctors/jurors
How do you explain
I don’t know where they were
I don’t know what they were doing
I didn’t know my baby was sleeping in a queen size bed
I didn’t know my 8 month old was eating chicken nuggets
I didn’t know my child was watching TV all day
I didn’t know my 2 year old took 2 hour naps strapped inside a car in his car seat
I didn’t know my 2 year old was playing with a knife he got into by accident.....
HOW?

Most of those aren’t dangerous. I agree, this “nanny” isn’t a professional. But you’re being inflammatory for no reason. Also, you have a mix of dangerous (knives), preference (tv, chicken nuggets), and suggestions (napping in car seats). Please stop conflating issues.

Finally, most nannies aren’t micromanaged enough that the parents knows the exact time and route the nanny and child use to get to other places. If plans change during the day, they may not even know where they are. It does NOT mean that the nanny is unprofessional, nor should the parent be expected to feel guilty for concentrating on work, especially if they are unreachable during work hours.

DP. Napping in a car seat for a prolonged period of time is absolutely dangerous for an infant under 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP... does your contract say you will pay her under the table? Or do you just pay her under the table?

Also, does the contract say you’ll pay her for one year no matter what? What if she quits? What if you terminate her for cause? Severance if you terminate her without cause?

DP. You can’t contract to engage in illegal behavior so even if it says she has to pay under the table that isn’t enforceable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same nanny again
My question
If something happens, how do you explain yourself to the police/ambulance/doctors/jurors
How do you explain
I don’t know where they were
I don’t know what they were doing
I didn’t know my baby was sleeping in a queen size bed
I didn’t know my 8 month old was eating chicken nuggets
I didn’t know my child was watching TV all day
I didn’t know my 2 year old took 2 hour naps strapped inside a car in his car seat
I didn’t know my 2 year old was playing with a knife he got into by accident.....
HOW?

Most of those aren’t dangerous. I agree, this “nanny” isn’t a professional. But you’re being inflammatory for no reason. Also, you have a mix of dangerous (knives), preference (tv, chicken nuggets), and suggestions (napping in car seats). Please stop conflating issues.

Finally, most nannies aren’t micromanaged enough that the parents knows the exact time and route the nanny and child use to get to other places. If plans change during the day, they may not even know where they are. It does NOT mean that the nanny is unprofessional, nor should the parent be expected to feel guilty for concentrating on work, especially if they are unreachable during work hours.

Napping in car seats that are not in the car or stroller can kill your child, fyi.

[Anonymous]

OP, ALWAYS trust your gut. Personally, I would follow her or put a tracking device in the diaper bag without telling her. I would just want to know if my instincts were correct. My assumption is that she takes the babies to her home. Regardless of what is actually happening, this is not a good fit for you and that is okay! Move along and give her 2 weeks (or whatever is in your contract) severance. Be more cautious and aware when hiring your next nanny or looking at daycares.

[Anonymous]

OP, any updates?

[Anonymous]

I take the kids I watch everywhere. The parents I work for are cool with it. Maybe you’re not. They come with me grocery shopping, sometimes to my house if I need to do laundry or prep something important. I schedule their play dates and activities. If I leave the house before naptime that means they nap at my house and we come back after. Or if we leave after nap time that means they may nap on the way back and I can come back sooner.
But I am very communicative and have no problem with a tracking app. My best friends babysit for me all the time and I have them both on find my friends and they have no issue with it. A lot of families have cameras in the home which is also perfectly fine. I would if I hired a stranger too.
The fact that you’ve asked her to let you know and she hasn’t is WEIRD. she’s probably taking them to her house and she’s probably parking them in front of the tv or doing whatever it is she does in her free time that she doesn’t feel comfortable enough to do in yours