This is wrong, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the HF didn’t offer to bring AP for the holidays, the AP would’ve complained about not being part of the family, of exclusion over the holidays, etc. plus, some HF truly get offended at the idea that the AP wouldn’t want to spend the holidays together- the idea of taking full responsibility for a cultural exchange, and having an AP who picks and chooses which holidays and circumstances in which to participate in this exchange can be truly offensive.
There are many APs who don’t appreciate their HF’s generosity or inclusion. I hosted an extension AP who was so unhappy about her previous HF’s Christmas trip, she couldn’t stop talking about it a year later. “We flew on Christmas Eve, it was awful to fly on Christmas Eve, I cried and cried. I was so bored just sitting in the house on Christmas Day”, etc. she didn’t work, the kids were older, but the HF felt it was the right thing to do, fly across the country with AP and include her in the family tradition, even if it meant the AP would criticize everything about their holiday tradition.

What is so generous and inclusive about either dragging the AP across the country, forcing her to sleep on a living room couch in a communal space and having her babysit HF and extended family’s kids, OR, making her take her annual allotment of leave? HF is obviously in the position of power and it just doesn’t feel kind or fair to the AP. Sheesh, some of you people use your “generosity” as a weapon.

[Anonymous]

AP has a choice here - take her vacation or take a working family trip under conditions that meet agency criteria (otherwise she'd be complaining to the LCC not friend's family).
She just doesn't like her choices.

[Anonymous]

2 bedrooms -- give the AP one of them -- she is the adult! Have the kids sleep on the living room couch. Sheesh! Giving kids a private room over an adult... ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 bedrooms -- give the AP one of them -- she is the adult! Have the kids sleep on the living room couch. Sheesh! Giving kids a private room over an adult... ridiculous.

Or since the adults will be the ones staying up late to talk and getting up to get breakfast around (since supposedly she wouldn’t be working), THEY can sleep in the living room/share the other room with the kids. You know, because the kids are theirs...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AP has a choice here - take her vacation or take a working family trip under conditions that meet agency criteria (otherwise she'd be complaining to the LCC not friend's family).
She just doesn't like her choices.

Its actually not up to agency criteria if she is sleeping in a common space. And its really uncomfortable. They could at least give her the option of one week vacation being taken if she doesn't come. Forcing her to take both weeks when she just arrived really isn't a choice.

And she didn't complain to her friends family, just told her friend who told her HM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AP has a choice here - take her vacation or take a working family trip under conditions that meet agency criteria (otherwise she'd be complaining to the LCC not friend's family).
She just doesn't like her choices.

Its actually not up to agency criteria if she is sleeping in a common space. And its really uncomfortable. They could at least give her the option of one week vacation being taken if she doesn't come. Forcing her to take both weeks when she just arrived really isn't a choice.

And she didn't complain to her friends family, just told her friend who told her HM.

This is such a tough situation since you know if you bring it up with the agency the host family is going to be pissed at her. I still think you ought to do it in some manner. Do you know the host family at all yourself, or just through the AP?