What can I ask of au pair as "member of family"?

[Anonymous]

We pay our AP to walk the dog during the week. She loves our dog.
She absolutely empties the dishwasher and trash. We have three kids and the AP. While there may be a few dishes and trash associated with my husband, MOST of the dishes and trash are for my kids and AP. (I don't eat breakfast, eat lunch at work, and when I get home, I pick and clean up after myself).
She does have to keep her room clean. I learned the hard way when I had an AP who was a slob and the room/carpet etc got trashed. Disgusting.
No way on shoveling snow.
AP cooks for herself and the kids. I cook on Sundays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused about where people are saying au pairs should not take care of pets. If an au pair is at home taking care of a young child, and the dog needs to go out, you don't expect the au pair to take the dog out?

NO! She can volunteer, and she can decide at any time she wants that it’s nit her responsibility. She’s there to take care of your kids, not your pets or plants!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others - light shared chores are OK.

Our dishwasher gets run at least once a day, I try to empty it out at night so it's ready to go when AP gets on duty, but sometimes it's full again so it's cleaning and waiting for AP in the morning. So AP probably empties it 3x/week. She doesn't have DH's abandoned coffee mug to the dishwasher, just like I don't have to put her dirty weekend plate in the dishwasher. But I notice if she does and appreciate it, and mention it.

Our last AP noticed my husband comes out first thing in the morning to heat up water for tea, so she started doing it for him. We appreciated it and let her know, but haven't asked current AP to do it, and are not annoyed that she doesn't.

We expect her to keep her room clean enough for our housekeeper to be able to clean without picking up after her, and not leave dirty dishes in her room. We all take turns conveying the recycling pile that accumulates throughout the day in the kitchen to the connected garage.

I don't expect her to make dinner for the family, but the rule is if she will be joining us for dinner she is in the kitchen 30-45 minutes prior to help out - either wrangle kids, make a side dish, set the table, etc. and will help clean up after.

I'd say no on shoveling snow, taking out trash, walking the dog (unless she wants to)

If we didn't have a housekeeper she would clean her room and bathroom, unless she shared a bathroom with the kids.