MB asked if my charge could FaceTime with me.

[Anonymous]

I love that the MBs defending calling the nanny on her off hours because of the bond the nanny and child have are the same ones who will fire the nanny and post how their child will forget her in a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised by all of the nannies who think that a one time request like this is unreasonable. OP -- Do you know why the charge wanted to FaceTime you?

My kid really wanted to tell my nanny something over a weekend. (It had to do with a backyard "project" they'd worked on together.) I texted my nanny to ask if it would be OK if kid FaceTimed her for 2 minutes. She immediately FaceTimed us. Kid blurted out the info, nanny indicated her excitement (probably partially feigned, but I think she was excited that kid was so excited) and they talked for maybe 90 seconds? I then shot her a text saying "Sorry for bothering you, kid was just so excited to tell you about it!" It never occurred to me that she might really resent this -- and I sincerely hope she doesn't. She occasionally texts me over the weekend with questions/requests and I certainly don't resent it. I interact with her/am respectful of her time just like I would be with a colleague or with my boss, which I would have thought was a reasonable standard?

Your nanny more than likely thinks you are weird and don't respect her boundaries. You can think what you like but she will say it's fine and smile while thinking you are crazy and intrusive because you are her boss. You should've told your child to wait. What is wrong with some of you parents? Can you all not tell your kids no or not right now!? My God your kid can't get through a weekend without telling your nanny something and lean on you?

My kid is 2.5. Yes, I absolutely could have told her to wait, but she was really excited and it was something that wouldn't have lasted until Monday, so nanny couldn't have seen it otherwise. (She obviously doesn't actually realize that the nanny is our family's employee as opposed to part of our family and, at 2.5, I think that's a good thing, so other than asking her to wait for its own sake, I don't think there's any useful lesson for her here.) In any case, I raised this issue with our nanny last night and she looked at me like I had two heads. She assumed I was trying to tactfully tell her not to text us over the weekend and started to apologize for intruding on our time. I hastily assured her that was not at all the case and explained the background. She said she was happy to hear from us when special things happened over the weekend and that, just as I am occasionally sad when I miss my daughter's firsts (however minor they might be), she's also sad when she misses those things and certainly wants to see/hear about them ASAP. So, MBs, if you have a relationship w/ your nannies where you are surprised at what's in this thread... trust your guts.

She said those things because you are her boss and she doesn't want you to pick up on the fact that she thinks you all are strange and have no boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love that the MBs defending calling the nanny on her off hours because of the bond the nanny and child have are the same ones who will fire the nanny and post how their child will forget her in a few weeks.

This! These people's entitlement never ceases to amaze me.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's what gets to me too, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised by all of the nannies who think that a one time request like this is unreasonable. OP -- Do you know why the charge wanted to FaceTime you?

My kid really wanted to tell my nanny something over a weekend. (It had to do with a backyard "project" they'd worked on together.) I texted my nanny to ask if it would be OK if kid FaceTimed her for 2 minutes. She immediately FaceTimed us. Kid blurted out the info, nanny indicated her excitement (probably partially feigned, but I think she was excited that kid was so excited) and they talked for maybe 90 seconds? I then shot her a text saying "Sorry for bothering you, kid was just so excited to tell you about it!" It never occurred to me that she might really resent this -- and I sincerely hope she doesn't. She occasionally texts me over the weekend with questions/requests and I certainly don't resent it. I interact with her/am respectful of her time just like I would be with a colleague or with my boss, which I would have thought was a reasonable standard?

Your nanny more than likely thinks you are weird and don't respect her boundaries. You can think what you like but she will say it's fine and smile while thinking you are crazy and intrusive because you are her boss. You should've told your child to wait. What is wrong with some of you parents? Can you all not tell your kids no or not right now!? My God your kid can't get through a weekend without telling your nanny something and lean on you?

My kid is 2.5. Yes, I absolutely could have told her to wait, but she was really excited and it was something that wouldn't have lasted until Monday, so nanny couldn't have seen it otherwise. (She obviously doesn't actually realize that the nanny is our family's employee as opposed to part of our family and, at 2.5, I think that's a good thing, so other than asking her to wait for its own sake, I don't think there's any useful lesson for her here.) In any case, I raised this issue with our nanny last night and she looked at me like I had two heads. She assumed I was trying to tactfully tell her not to text us over the weekend and started to apologize for intruding on our time. I hastily assured her that was not at all the case and explained the background. She said she was happy to hear from us when special things happened over the weekend and that, just as I am occasionally sad when I miss my daughter's firsts (however minor they might be), she's also sad when she misses those things and certainly wants to see/hear about them ASAP. So, MBs, if you have a relationship w/ your nannies where you are surprised at what's in this thread... trust your guts.

She said those things because you are her boss and she doesn't want you to pick up on the fact that she thinks you all are strange and have no boundaries.

I really don't think so. She immediately started apologizing to me for texting me over the weekend. She legitimately thought I was trying to complain about her behavior in a roundabout/tactful way. Like I said, she texts us over the weekend a few times a month too. Also, FWIW, she has a pretty good gig w/ us from a compensation standpoint, so I'm confident she doesn't think we're taking advantage of her time. (50 hours guaranteed minimum w/ the last 10 paid at true OT, but she probably works an average of 45.)

[Anonymous]

PP, don't worry. It sounds like you and your nanny have a great relationship. Please don't let this thread mess with your head, just be happy you get on so well with her.

[Anonymous]

The majority of Nanny responses on here are just plain selfish & MEAN.

I am a Nanny and would love it if my charge wanted to converse w/me after hours.
It would mean that I am doing my job right + I would be flattered.

I guess I am in the minority here.

And I hope any parents reading these responses will understand that there are some loving Nannies out there who know their relationship w/their charge extends beyond their work day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love that the MBs defending calling the nanny on her off hours because of the bond the nanny and child have are the same ones who will fire the nanny and post how their child will forget her in a few weeks.

This! These people's entitlement never ceases to amaze me.

I never heard so many MBs crying about their child's devoted relationship with his/her nanny. Suddenly the nanny ISimportant.

[Anonymous]

What's the issue?

Say no if you can't.

I'd be flattered. It means he loves you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the issue?

Say no if you can't.

I'd be flattered. It means he loves you.

The issue is clearly that the MB should not have asked. I have no idea how OP or the others could have made the issue any clearer. Disagree if you like but please stop playing stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In all honesty, I am truly shocked that the majority of responses here are to say no to a FaceTime session w/their charge.

Just because they have the time off & are not being paid.

WTF....??!

A Nanny is not a corporate job.
You have an actual BOND w/who you work with every single day (your charge!) + this bond doesn't just end when you walk out the front door.

Children are special creatures and many of them do not see their Nanny as being a paid employee but rather someone who comes over to play w/them every day since they are so much fun to be with!

Nanny here. I completely agree with all of this.

I think my perspective on all this is:
Facetime during nanny's off time for up to 30 minutes a month? Absolutely!!!
Facetime during nanny's off time for 30 minutes a day? Absolutely not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love that the MBs defending calling the nanny on her off hours because of the bond the nanny and child have are the same ones who will fire the nanny and post how their child will forget her in a few weeks.

I love how you magically became Jeff and are able to discern the identity of anonymous posters!

[Anonymous]

Dissuade your child from calling/facetiming Nanny during her off hours. Respect her time with her own family and need to re-energize. Please. Although she loves your child, she needs time to herself.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- I love it when my charge facetimes me! She calls when I'm at the airport going on vacation to say goodbye and it makes me feel so loved and special. I don't understand you guys!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dissuade your child from calling/facetiming Nanny during her off hours. Respect her time with her own family and need to re-energize. Please. Although she loves your child, she needs time to herself.

I am a nanny. I love your child. I have a life. Please do not make me the bad guy by not being available when your child wants to facetime with me. Please do not call.