The dishes debate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am being picky or get annoyed easily but does anyone else think it's disrespectful that I cook dinner... Clean all dishes.. And then come to work the next day and they leave their plates and dinner dish in the sink for me. When I started I stated I do not clean dinner dishes that if I leave empty sink I should come back to empty sink. It's gotten to point where it's everyday. I said something to the dad and he said just leave dishes. But I can't leave dirty dishes for 10 hours. Gross

our nanny is ok with us leaving dishes for her to do (she even sometimes says "just go to work, i'll take care", but we make sure we do not take it for granted, and always thank her, plus it is important that if she decided not to do it on one day, parents should be totally ok with her not doing it. again, never take it for granted.

that said, nannies who would rather text and watch cable to prove the point that "dishes are not their job" are not the type of nannies we would hire. also, sometimes parents truly do not have time in the morning to do the kitchen for the nannies to enjoy it. it can be gross, but it is also life of people who work, and mornings are the worst.

Get up 1/2 hour earlier so you have time to leave a clean kitchen. I did and it isn't that difficult. You are just lazy.

Right! Who do you think is doing the dishes for your nanny at her house? She is!! If you don't have time to address your responsibilities, make more time. Any parent who had an attitude that I should spend my precious down time (I mught get 20 minutes to collect my thoughts and stuff some food in my mouth) doing things that they should've done themselves is not someone *I* would want to work for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am being picky or get annoyed easily but does anyone else think it's disrespectful that I cook dinner... Clean all dishes.. And then come to work the next day and they leave their plates and dinner dish in the sink for me. When I started I stated I do not clean dinner dishes that if I leave empty sink I should come back to empty sink. It's gotten to point where it's everyday. I said something to the dad and he said just leave dishes. But I can't leave dirty dishes for 10 hours. Gross

our nanny is ok with us leaving dishes for her to do (she even sometimes says "just go to work, i'll take care", but we make sure we do not take it for granted, and always thank her, plus it is important that if she decided not to do it on one day, parents should be totally ok with her not doing it. again, never take it for granted.

that said, nannies who would rather text and watch cable to prove the point that "dishes are not their job" are not the type of nannies we would hire. also, sometimes parents truly do not have time in the morning to do the kitchen for the nannies to enjoy it. it can be gross, but it is also life of people who work, and mornings are the worst.

Get up 1/2 hour earlier so you have time to leave a clean kitchen. I did and it isn't that difficult. You are just lazy.

Agree. Boundaries are good.

Right! Who do you think is doing the dishes for your nanny at her house? She is!! If you don't have time to address your responsibilities, make more time. Any parent who had an attitude that I should spend my precious down time (I mught get 20 minutes to collect my thoughts and stuff some food in my mouth) doing things that they should've done themselves is not someone *I* would want to work for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am being picky or get annoyed easily but does anyone else think it's disrespectful that I cook dinner... Clean all dishes.. And then come to work the next day and they leave their plates and dinner dish in the sink for me. When I started I stated I do not clean dinner dishes that if I leave empty sink I should come back to empty sink. It's gotten to point where it's everyday. I said something to the dad and he said just leave dishes. But I can't leave dirty dishes for 10 hours. Gross

What did you decide to do about it?

[Anonymous]

I was thinking about this this morning. I had a period of time where my husband was ill and hospitalized, I was still working full time to pay medical bills, and I was single parenting my children plus trying to go to the hospital whenever I could. And my housekeeper kept getting on me about stuff like this. The dishes weren't done, and she couldn't do her job in a dirty kitchen, the laundry was in the kids rooms or in the bathroom where I had left it after they took a bath instead of hampers, and it wasn't her job to go around collecting laundry. I remember finding it very odd, and said something similar to your DB, like "just leave it then."

If they were previously good about this, it is possible that they are going through something right now, and cleaning their home just isn't their top priority, rather than they are suddenly very lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I am being picky or get annoyed easily but does anyone else think it's disrespectful that I cook dinner... Clean all dishes.. And then come to work the next day and they leave their plates and dinner dish in the sink for me. When I started I stated I do not clean dinner dishes that if I leave empty sink I should come back to empty sink. It's gotten to point where it's everyday. I said something to the dad and he said just leave dishes. But I can't leave dirty dishes for 10 hours. Gross

Sounds like it's gotten progressively worse. You need to stop enabling their laziness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking about this this morning. I had a period of time where my husband was ill and hospitalized, I was still working full time to pay medical bills, and I was single parenting my children plus trying to go to the hospital whenever I could. And my housekeeper kept getting on me about stuff like this. The dishes weren't done, and she couldn't do her job in a dirty kitchen, the laundry was in the kids rooms or in the bathroom where I had left it after they took a bath instead of hampers, and it wasn't her job to go around collecting laundry. I remember finding it very odd, and said something similar to your DB, like "just leave it then."

If they were previously good about this, it is possible that they are going through something right now, and cleaning their home just isn't their top priority, rather than they are suddenly very lazy.

I'm a nanny who would be very upset about my NF leaving the previous night's dinner dishes in the sink for me. If my NF were going through an extremely difficult time, however, I'd step up and just do them. Your housekeeper is a jerk.

[Anonymous]

This may be the nanny's place of employment, but it is also the family home. Its not reasonable to expect the house to be spotless 24/7 if they are working full time and have kids. Reasonable clean, yes, but a few dishes in the sink is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may be the nanny's place of employment, but it is also the family home. Its not reasonable to expect the house to be spotless 24/7 if they are working full time and have kids. Reasonable clean, yes, but a few dishes in the sink is reasonable.

Stop trying to misdirect the conversation!!! Leaving all of your dishes from dinner the previous evening including the dishes it was cooked in, as well as all of the breakfast dishes, all on a daily basis is NOT a few dishes in the sink. It IS a reasonable expectation to not have to work around filth on a daily basis, and it IS a reasonable expectation that adults can manage to clean up after themselves. Once in a while fine. That's not what this is. This is a pile of dishes being left in the sink every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was thinking about this this morning. I had a period of time where my husband was ill and hospitalized, I was still working full time to pay medical bills, and I was single parenting my children plus trying to go to the hospital whenever I could. And my housekeeper kept getting on me about stuff like this. The dishes weren't done, and she couldn't do her job in a dirty kitchen, the laundry was in the kids rooms or in the bathroom where I had left it after they took a bath instead of hampers, and it wasn't her job to go around collecting laundry. I remember finding it very odd, and said something similar to your DB, like "just leave it then."

If they were previously good about this, it is possible that they are going through something right now, and cleaning their home just isn't their top priority, rather than they are suddenly very lazy.

I'm a nanny who would be very upset about my NF leaving the previous night's dinner dishes in the sink for me. If my NF were going through an extremely difficult time, however, I'd step up and just do them. Your housekeeper is a jerk.

My point is that you might not know. I am sure that my housekeeper didn't know that my husband was ill. Why would she? If the OP's MB and DB were talking about getting a divorce or MB's mom had just died or she just got diagnosed with cancer she probably wouldn't know. There are any nmber of things that I am sure most people wouldn't tell their nanny, but it may affect their housekeeping skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be the nanny's place of employment, but it is also the family home. Its not reasonable to expect the house to be spotless 24/7 if they are working full time and have kids. Reasonable clean, yes, but a few dishes in the sink is reasonable.

Stop trying to misdirect the conversation!!! Leaving all of your dishes from dinner the previous evening including the dishes it was cooked in, as well as all of the breakfast dishes, all on a daily basis is NOT a few dishes in the sink. It IS a reasonable expectation to not have to work around filth on a daily basis, and it IS a reasonable expectation that adults can manage to clean up after themselves. Once in a while fine. That's not what this is. This is a pile of dishes being left in the sink every day.

It doesn't include the dishes it was cooked in. In the OP, she said that she cooks dinner and does those dishes. I am honestly having trouble imagining how this is more than five minutes of work for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Oh, just go away, PP. You have nothing to contribute today. Better luck tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, just go away, PP. You have nothing to contribute today. Better luck tomorrow.

Sorry. Just sharing my own experiences with this. Didn't mean to offend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be the nanny's place of employment, but it is also the family home. Its not reasonable to expect the house to be spotless 24/7 if they are working full time and have kids. Reasonable clean, yes, but a few dishes in the sink is reasonable.

Stop trying to misdirect the conversation!!! Leaving all of your dishes from dinner the previous evening including the dishes it was cooked in, as well as all of the breakfast dishes, all on a daily basis is NOT a few dishes in the sink. It IS a reasonable expectation to not have to work around filth on a daily basis, and it IS a reasonable expectation that adults can manage to clean up after themselves. Once in a while fine. That's not what this is. This is a pile of dishes being left in the sink every day.

It doesn't include the dishes it was cooked in. In the OP, she said that she cooks dinner and does those dishes. I am honestly having trouble imagining how this is more than five minutes of work for anyone.

Right, so the parents can take 5 minutes out of their evening or morning to clean up after themselves like grown-ups. I am all for pitching in to make lives easier, but seriously, how is this even up for debate???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be the nanny's place of employment, but it is also the family home. Its not reasonable to expect the house to be spotless 24/7 if they are working full time and have kids. Reasonable clean, yes, but a few dishes in the sink is reasonable.

Stop trying to misdirect the conversation!!! Leaving all of your dishes from dinner the previous evening including the dishes it was cooked in, as well as all of the breakfast dishes, all on a daily basis is NOT a few dishes in the sink. It IS a reasonable expectation to not have to work around filth on a daily basis, and it IS a reasonable expectation that adults can manage to clean up after themselves. Once in a while fine. That's not what this is. This is a pile of dishes being left in the sink every day.

It doesn't include the dishes it was cooked in. In the OP, she said that she cooks dinner and does those dishes. I am honestly having trouble imagining how this is more than five minutes of work for anyone.

Right, so the parents can take 5 minutes out of their evening or morning to clean up after themselves like grown-ups. I am all for pitching in to make lives easier, but seriously, how is this even up for debate???

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be the nanny's place of employment, but it is also the family home. Its not reasonable to expect the house to be spotless 24/7 if they are working full time and have kids. Reasonable clean, yes, but a few dishes in the sink is reasonable.

Stop trying to misdirect the conversation!!! Leaving all of your dishes from dinner the previous evening including the dishes it was cooked in, as well as all of the breakfast dishes, all on a daily basis is NOT a few dishes in the sink. It IS a reasonable expectation to not have to work around filth on a daily basis, and it IS a reasonable expectation that adults can manage to clean up after themselves. Once in a while fine. That's not what this is. This is a pile of dishes being left in the sink every day.

It doesn't include the dishes it was cooked in. In the OP, she said that she cooks dinner and does those dishes. I am honestly having trouble imagining how this is more than five minutes of work for anyone.

Then DO it, little troll.