Do parents really understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go spend some time working in the child services world. You will be astonished at the dominance of parents in a child's life. No matter how awful the abuse a child wants a parent.

Which is not at all what's being discussed here, or in 99% of nannying circumstances, but decent parents trump the worlds best nanny in a childs' view. Maybe not in the middle of a three year old tantrum - sure, but when a child wants comfort and permanence they look to a parent.

Sorry. Have your own kids if that's what you're looking for. If you're a sane, loving caregiver then I will welcome you into my family and be thrilled you love my child. But you are still being paid to do a job. Period.

20.59 here. I was talking about a child seeking comfort, not rejecting parental authority. It doesn't help me at all when a child wants me instead of a parent when they are hurt or scared, but that's the reality when I spend more hours with the toddler than the parent does. It's lovely when I don't have to assure the parents that the child loves them, but I deal with the reality that the child is used to coming to me for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've formed bonds with all my charges but with appropriate boundaries. I rarely have contact with my former charges, mostly because they've moved on to different phases in their lives. I love my current charges but one day this job will end like all the others. I will miss them, of course, but they're not my children so I don't feel grieving is necessary. No one died. I'm a great nanny but I'm also a mother and my child is who I give my unconditional love to, much like these parents whom you say don't understand. I feel some nannies form unhealthy attachments and the parents see that. These kids aren't yours...so move on. Not trying to be snarky...just being straightforward.

Some parents feel blessed when they find a nanny who treats her charge "as her own." I guess you wouldn't be that sort of nanny.

There is room for all kinds of nannies out there. If nannies treated children as their own, some of them wouldn't be as effective. Sometimes it's easier to discipline, tutor and set boundaries for a non-parent and you get better cooperation from the child.

The best parents and the best nannies are the ones who have the ability to best meet the real needs of the individual child before them.

Sounds like a very right what you wrote . I hope they respond to your ad .like they're quite now I didn't see them responding .those specific parent you should read these add to freshen up your brain . That I didn't see either respond I can feel the regrades what they have. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go spend some time working in the child services world. You will be astonished at the dominance of parents in a child's life. No matter how awful the abuse a child wants a parent.

Which is not at all what's being discussed here, or in 99% of nannying circumstances, but decent parents trump the worlds best nanny in a childs' view. Maybe not in the middle of a three year old tantrum - sure, but when a child wants comfort and permanence they look to a parent.

Sorry. Have your own kids if that's what you're looking for. If you're a sane, loving caregiver then I will welcome you into my family and be thrilled you love my child. But you are still being paid to do a job. Period.

thanks!

You actually can't buy real love. If your child has a nanny who loves him/her, count your blessings and treat her like gold.

That's what smart parents do.

Of course. I wouldn't hire someone who I didn't think would grow to love my child. But I don't expect anyone to do it for free and I don't expect (or want) a nanny to feel the same way about my kids as she would about her own.

[Anonymous]

As a nanny, I truly grieved the end of my relationship with my first charge. I was with him for two years since his birth and the parents suddenly decided to put him into daycare at MB's new job. I cried on and off for weeks and worried about him for months. I still do love that boy.

Anyway, not since then. I like my charges and do the best that I can for them but I will never allow myself to be that attached to any child ever again. I pretend I am attached and talk to the parents as if I loved them - but I don't. I left two other charges since then and never gave them a second thought. My two charges now are fine but I wouldn't miss them for a second if I never saw them again.

[Anonymous]

I know that I am done giving my heart to any child not my own. I think all nannies do it ONCE and when the parents of the child turn out to be dicks, you never do it again.

[Anonymous]

So unfortunate for some parents here to rob their child from preserving a relationship with a beloved primary caregiver.

Most adults I know want to know who loved them and took care of them when they were little.

Human nature.

My parents told me about the nanny I had when I was little. She was a PT nursing student. My parents think she's the reason I'm such a kind and gentle person. They said my sibling who had a different arrangement, wasn't as fortunate.

[Anonymous]

You guys are paid help. That is how it will always be.
You are not a parent. You don't have right to stay in touch as far I see it.
You finish a JOB and you move on. You aren't family and you shouldn't be expected to be treated like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are paid help. That is how it will always be.
You are not a parent. You don't have right to stay in touch as far I see it.
You finish a JOB and you move on. You aren't family and you shouldn't be expected to be treated like it.

One of my long-ago employers recently introduced me to a friend of hers saying, "My son is who he is today, because of his nanny." (Of course I would not quite agree!) Her son is a very accomplished well-known physician, on tv a lot. Imagine that.

Good thing some parents want good people to stay in their child's life. I feel sorry for your poor child.