Invite Nanny to DS's birthday party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, the mistake you made was last year when you invited your nanny to the birthday party. Inviting a nanny to a personal family party blurs the boundaries on both sides. The best thing to do is to encourage the nanny to celebrate your DC's child's birthday during their time together. Provide extra money for a special outing. But don't invite a nanny to a family party, It's inappropriate and sets a precedent clearly evident on this thread, that nannies feel entitled to attend family events and will vilify you and threaten to quit if you don't invite them.

Why would you want anyone with such an attitude and sense of entitlement caring for you child?

Right. How entitled it is for the woman who wipes your kids butt, kisses his boo boos, fixed his meals, rocked him to sleep, and care for him when sick, all while you were not around, to want to celebrate his birthday with him and the rest of the adults that love him. If she didn't want to attend the birthday party, inevitably someone would say she treats him like a job. Can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want your nanny to love and care for your kid, you shouldn't be surprised when they love her back and want her around. Like it or not, she is family as far as they are concerned.

Truth be told.

[Anonymous]

Just haul up your big girl panties and tell her "We're just doing a small friends and family thing this year." She should get the hint.

[Anonymous]

I'd be very hurt if I was your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a load of crap. There was a similar, equally stupid thread on this a few months ago. Our kids did not have nannies when they were infants, but did beginning around age 4, so maybe the expectations differ as the kids get older. Nannies never were invited to birthday parties, yet they still stayed with us for years. Don't worry at all about not having your nanny there. Do what you want to do, and ignore the nanny nuts on this forum.

Great.

I wouldn't work for you.

I guess it depends on the family/nanny relationship. I've been with my charges 50-60 hours a week since they were a few weeks old, you bet I'd be terribly offended and rethink my decision to work for my NF if I wasn't invited to a birthday party.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and had this happen, invite for one birthday but not subsequent. It wasn't a big deal, really. Invite me, don't invite me. I'll still get your kid a small gift and/or do a special outing and treat. I totally get wanting it to be a family affair and frankly I'm introverted enough that I enjoy being invited but don't actually enjoy going all that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should tell her you're insecure.

Sorry, but have to agree on this here.

Why on earth would you want to separate your nanny from your son? Esp. in his big day.

You should be so blessed that you have a nanny who is more than a friend, she sounds like family to you. Your son loves her and you get to go to work everyday w/the piece of mind that your child is loved, well-taken care of and safe. And happy.

That is a miracle in itself. Would it really be unnecessary to not invite her just because you want to encourage "separation....??"

I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should tell her you're insecure.

Sorry, but have to agree on this here.

Why on earth would you want to separate your nanny from your son? Esp. in his big day.

You should be so blessed that you have a nanny who is more than a friend, she sounds like family to you. Your son loves her and you get to go to work everyday w/the piece of mind that your child is loved, well-taken care of and safe. And happy.

That is a miracle in itself. Would it really be unnecessary to not invite her just because you want to encourage "separation....??"

I don't get it.

Well said. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should tell her you're insecure.

Sorry, but have to agree on this here.

Why on earth would you want to separate your nanny from your son? Esp. in his big day.

You should be so blessed that you have a nanny who is more than a friend, she sounds like family to you. Your son loves her and you get to go to work everyday w/the piece of mind that your child is loved, well-taken care of and safe. And happy.

That is a miracle in itself. Would it really be unnecessary to not invite her just because you want to encourage "separation....??"

I don't get it.

Well said. Thank you.

+1 If you love your child you will do as he wants on his birthday - and he wants his nanny there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, the mistake you made was last year when you invited your nanny to the birthday party. Inviting a nanny to a personal family party blurs the boundaries on both sides. The best thing to do is to encourage the nanny to celebrate your DC's child's birthday during their time together. Provide extra money for a special outing. But don't invite a nanny to a family party, It's inappropriate and sets a precedent clearly evident on this thread, that nannies feel entitled to attend family events and will vilify you and threaten to quit if you don't invite them.

Why would you want anyone with such an attitude and sense of entitlement caring for you child?

Absolutely true, nanny here I never attend a family party or my charge birthday party even when I am invited. I don't feel comfortable in families get together or their friends circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a load of crap. There was a similar, equally stupid thread on this a few months ago. Our kids did not have nannies when they were infants, but did beginning around age 4, so maybe the expectations differ as the kids get older. Nannies never were invited to birthday parties, yet they still stayed with us for years. Don't worry at all about not having your nanny there. Do what you want to do, and ignore the nanny nuts on this forum.

You clearly misread the post (or don't understand it). OP did invite her nanny to her child's birthday party last year and IS concerned that her DS is too attached to his nanny so a very different situation than yours.

I am an MB and while there maybe many "nanny nuts" in the world, there is nothing at all "nutty" about expecting to be invited again to your charge's birthday celebration.

[Anonymous]

Don't understand why all these nannies are making a big deal. If you love your charge so much give gift or do something fun together the day before. Please grow up and stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a load of crap. There was a similar, equally stupid thread on this a few months ago. Our kids did not have nannies when they were infants, but did beginning around age 4, so maybe the expectations differ as the kids get older. Nannies never were invited to birthday parties, yet they still stayed with us for years. Don't worry at all about not having your nanny there. Do what you want to do, and ignore the nanny nuts on this forum.

You clearly misread the post (or don't understand it). OP did invite her nanny to her child's birthday party last year and IS concerned that her DS is too attached to his nanny so a very different situation than yours.

I am an MB and while there maybe many "nanny nuts" in the world, there is nothing at all "nutty" about expecting to be invited again to your charge's birthday celebration.

I read it, I understood it, I disagree with it (and with you).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't understand why all these nannies are making a big deal. If you love your charge so much give gift or do something fun together the day before. Please grow up and stop complaining.

Another insecure parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't understand why all these nannies are making a big deal. If you love your charge so much give gift or do something fun together the day before. Please grow up and stop complaining.

Another insecure parent.

I doubt a single one of these nannies would be pissed off or hurt just from being excluded from a charge's birthday. The reaction here is to OP's explicit statement that her child is getting "too attached" to the nanny. She is not excluding nanny because it's more of a family thing or that she doesnmt think nanny woukd enjoy it, but because she specifically wants to undermine the bond between her caregiver and her child. Once a parent starts doing that, they no longer deserve a loving, committed nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't understand why all these nannies are making a big deal. If you love your charge so much give gift or do something fun together the day before. Please grow up and stop complaining.

Another insecure parent.

I doubt a single one of these nannies would be pissed off or hurt just from being excluded from a charge's birthday. The reaction here is to OP's explicit statement that her child is getting "too attached" to the nanny. She is not excluding nanny because it's more of a family thing or that she doesnmt think nanny woukd enjoy it, but because she specifically wants to undermine the bond between her caregiver and her child. Once a parent starts doing that, they no longer deserve a loving, committed nanny.

+1