Is this too out of line to ask of my NF?

[Anonymous]

Only YOU know the true dynamics of your relationship w/your bosses + their children OP.

If things are really great between everyone, then I don't think anyone involved will have an issue w/it at all. In fact, they may love the chance to meet your Dad.

If they do not like the idea, your bosses can always give you the option of letting you off an hour early for that day and having one of them come home an extra hour earlier. I am sure either way, it can be worked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a little advice. It doesn'take you an awesome nanny if you never use your time off.

Huh? I take my time off. I'm just not going to ask my bosses to be home an hour early if it's unnecessary.
They're too busy.

So instead they'll feel guilty that you're making your dad wait at their house basically ignored for an hour. And one will try to rearrange their schedule to be home early.

Not going to tell them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it. He can't be at my home because DH is constantly on calls or has clients in his home office. It's too disruptive. It just won't work. He will wait at Starbucks.

I don't get it. Is your home a studio apartment? Otherwise one would think there's a room your father could sit in to read a book while your husband has clients in his home office. I just can't understand why it won't work. Is your husband dealing drugs? Running illegal guns? A Mafia don? It doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get it. He can't be at my home because DH is constantly on calls or has clients in his home office. It's too disruptive. It just won't work. He will wait at Starbucks.

I don't get it. Is your home a studio apartment? Otherwise one would think there's a room your father could sit in to read a book while your husband has clients in his home office. I just can't understand why it won't work. Is your husband dealing drugs? Running illegal guns? A Mafia don? It doesn't make sense.

lol I was thinking along these lines too, but more along the lines of filming porn or something.

[Anonymous]

Please read this as (mono)tone. My thoughts are.... Whatever your relationship with your NF, it's between you all. Essentially, you are asking if they are willing to open their home and expose their children to a stranger their parents don't know, and haven't met. It doesn't matter that he's your dad. To them, he's still a stranger. On that premise, did they hire you sight unseen and just ask you to show up and begin nannying for their children? This is not a reasonable request. I noticed that you proclaim everyone as "too busy" for anything to work other than what you--apparently keenly desire. You haven't chosen to share why it's such a disruption to be at your home, and that's fine. However, it verges on the incredulous to think dad couldn't be quietly enjoying a coffee, book, earbuds activity in the same space as your hubby. Teleconferences are done in offices with lots of activity surrounding the participant. And how overwhelming is it for dad to spend time at Starbucks winding down from the drive, have a coffee, read, listen to the Muzak, people watch. And if you deem it not quite important enough to "inconvenience" for the DB/MB to come home 2 hours early.... Again, how is it mission critical to have him come spend time with their kids, in their home. It's all a bit puzzling.

[Anonymous]

I think OP just wants her NF to meet her dad plain and simple.

Which is fine, but could probably be done at a different time.

In my view this is what PTO is for you ask in advance to leave an hour early they should have a system in place to accommodate this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please read this as (mono)tone. My thoughts are.... Whatever your relationship with your NF, it's between you all. Essentially, you are asking if they are willing to open their home and expose their children to a stranger their parents don't know, and haven't met. It doesn't matter that he's your dad. To them, he's still a stranger. On that premise, did they hire you sight unseen and just ask you to show up and begin nannying for their children? This is not a reasonable request. I noticed that you proclaim everyone as "too busy" for anything to work other than what you--apparently keenly desire. You haven't chosen to share why it's such a disruption to be at your home, and that's fine. However, it verges on the incredulous to think dad couldn't be quietly enjoying a coffee, book, earbuds activity in the same space as your hubby. Teleconferences are done in offices with lots of activity surrounding the participant. And how overwhelming is it for dad to spend time at Starbucks winding down from the drive, have a coffee, read, listen to the Muzak, people watch. And if you deem it not quite important enough to "inconvenience" for the DB/MB to come home 2 hours early.... Again, how is it mission critical to have him come spend time with their kids, in their home. It's all a bit puzzling.

My guess is Dad and DH don't get along well and OP acts as sort of a mediator when family is together. I get that not uncommon really if that is the case.

As for why she is not asking for PTo I don't know. She has been with the family 2 years it's not as though she just started with them I would hope by that time leaving 1 to 2 hours early with avdance warning wouldn't put them off.

[Anonymous]

OP here. There is no nefarious or illegal stuff happening at my house. No drug dealing, Mafia involvement of porn shooting going on. He is in sales...of legal stuff. He and my father get along fine. My father is a bit of a busy-body and no matter how important you tell him it is to be quiet, he seems to not get it. You can hear everything in our place.
So now, we keep Dad away during DH's work day.
As for my father being a danger to my charge, no.
I like to think that they trust me enough to know that I would never put him in danger. The little guy will be asleep the last hour anyway. My dad wouldn't even be around him.
As for why I don't want to ask my bosses for PTO, they're very busy people and have very demanding careers. They don't have a lot of flexibility in their jobs. They're always home on time for me and I don't plan to ask them to be home an hour early.
My dad is just going to wait at a Starbucks.
Some of you have big imaginations.

[Anonymous]

I've spent on hour in Starbucks on several occasions, OP. It is NOT a hardship at all.

I have always believed that the less my employers know about my personal life - the better. Being a nanny is such a personal job that I feel much better keeping my life to myself. Just my choice.

[Anonymous]

Just out if curiosity do you get time off? Have vacation time? Go to health appointments?
No judgment just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just out if curiosity do you get time off? Have vacation time? Go to health appointments?
No judgment just curious.

Yes. 3 weeks PTO. 5 sick days. Health Insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just out if curiosity do you get time off? Have vacation time? Go to health appointments?
No judgment just curious.

Yes. 3 weeks PTO. 5 sick days. Health Insurance.

Oh good! I was a bit worried when you said they had demanding careers, but you seem well taken care of.

[Anonymous]

No, don't do that. Why not just take a personal day?

[Anonymous]

Wow what a thread and what a question lol. People really do have some nerve. I have always had very close family like bonds with my nfs and esp the mbs. Even have carried the kids to my home with permission to grab something or feed my dog. But even still I would NEVER ever think it appropriate to ask such a ridiculous thing of my nf. I mean really!? Let your dad just sit in their home for an hour? I wouldn't think your dad necessarily a harm but would question that you would even think putting me in the position to say no and look like a jerk. Your father is grown and so are you. Starbucks exist for a reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow what a thread and what a question lol. People really do have some nerve. I have always had very close family like bonds with my nfs and esp the mbs. Even have carried the kids to my home with permission to grab something or feed my dog. But even still I would NEVER ever think it appropriate to ask such a ridiculous thing of my nf. I mean really!? Let your dad just sit in their home for an hour? I wouldn't think your dad necessarily a harm but would question that you would even think putting me in the position to say no and look like a jerk. Your father is grown and so are you. Starbucks exist for a reason

This thread is old and so are you. Did you even read it?