Parents coming home late

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once my mb and db didn't get home until 3 am on a Friday night. I had started at 7 am and usually get off by 6 but after work they decided to do dinner and a movie. They said they would be home around 10 pm. They showed up at 3 am. I never called or texted and they didn't either. I literally thought they were dead. It was totally out of character. Thankfully they were just out at a karaoke bar. But 5 hrs late is ridiculous.

Why on earth didn’t you call or text them?!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once my mb and db didn't get home until 3 am on a Friday night. I had started at 7 am and usually get off by 6 but after work they decided to do dinner and a movie. They said they would be home around 10 pm. They showed up at 3 am. I never called or texted and they didn't either. I literally thought they were dead. It was totally out of character. Thankfully they were just out at a karaoke bar. But 5 hrs late is ridiculous.

Why on earth didn’t you call or text them?!!

I would have called the police and given my notice when they walked in the door. What a bunch of dirtbags!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For casual "babysitting" type gigs: If I don't get a "we are on our way home" text within 15-20 minutes of the time I'm supposed to be off, I text with an "do you have an ETA?". If I don't get a response by the time I am supposed to be off I am calling every 10 minutes until someone picks up.

For a nanny family: If there isn't an "I'm going to be late" text/call AT LEAST 5 minutes before the time I'm supposed to be off, I call/text. Then follow up with the every 10 minutes until someone responds.

A bit harsh, maybe, but my time is worth just as much as anyone elses and I don't

??? No, your time is actually not worth just as much as anyone else's.

Ha! Really?? Please, explain to me how you've come to that conclusion.

Because people hire you and pay you so they can go out and do something better, thus their time is worth more than your time. That's just the nature of the beast.

You are a fn moron.

[Anonymous]

In this day and age, there is no excuse for a dead phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a situation when you're given a time frame when parents are supposed to be home, how much time do you give them before you start calling them? Do you call or do you just fume inside?

(And let's not turn this into evil MB always late and never pays me because yes, it's a given we should be paid for additional time and our time should be respected. We're talking when for whatever reason the parents are late without letting us know in advance).

Daycares finally set some penalties to stop the abuse:

A dollar a minute after a short grace period.

Result:

No more irresponsibly late parents.

Actually, there were some interesting studies that showed that penalties like this can actually /increase/ the amount of lateness. The theory being, if people feel there is a negotiated way to compensate for being late, they are more likely to feel that it's acceptable. Not saying it's ok, but just that, in general, if your bottom line is that you want to leave on time you might be better off expressing that. If you negotiate a "late rate" the parents might feel that all is square if they just pay it.

http://rady.ucsd.edu/faculty/directory/gneezy/pub/docs/fine.pdf

That study has several issues.

1. It’s a flat rate. If it’s either a set rate per unit of time an exponentially increasing rate as the parent disrespects the nanny’s time, it’s more likely that the parent would think it’s not worth it. A flat rate is more likely to convince a parent that being 30 minutes late is not different from 15 minutes, if the flat rate kicks in at 10 minutes.

2. It’s not a punitive amount. In order for something to be a deterrent, it has to be something that creates an intense need to avoid it. When it’s a set amount AND it’s so small, it was asking parents to take advantage.

3. There were no other choices of response to lateness. Most nannies who don’t want to be held over will let a parent know that if they aren’t able to be on time, the nanny will find other employment, and if it happens on a regular basis with a more flexible nanny, the nanny is more likely to negotiate for the typical late hours to be considered standard and guaranteed.

4. This was at daycares that had previously had no policy, and they went back to no policy. Nannies negotiate contracts, and those contracts should have something about lateness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once my mb and db didn't get home until 3 am on a Friday night. I had started at 7 am and usually get off by 6 but after work they decided to do dinner and a movie. They said they would be home around 10 pm. They showed up at 3 am. I never called or texted and they didn't either. I literally thought they were dead. It was totally out of character. Thankfully they were just out at a karaoke bar. But 5 hrs late is ridiculous.

Were they drunk?

[Anonymous]

I used to sit for a family who would always say they'd be home at 10:30 or 11, and then text me around the time they were supposed to be home saying "Hey we're running late! Hope that's okay"...Actually no, it's not. They often wouldn't come home til 1:30/2. This was happening on Wednesday and Tuesday nights, and I had class in the mornings. I had to take a cab home when I got out that late (taking the subway and then walking to my apartment alone was creepy at 2 am) which ate up the whole last hour of pay. They would also text me at 4 asking if I could pick up their kids at 5:30 that same evening and stay for an hour-thanks, but no thanks. I eventually stopped agreeing to sit for them because I knew they didn't respect my time at all.

[Anonymous]

Yo I see like 30 mins late and 1 hour late but this parent is deadass 6 hours late hasn’t sent a text or call I’ve watched her kid since 5pm and it’s now 4:20am. She said she would be home TONIGHT. I’m going Christmas shopping tomorrow at 8am. She’s been known to short me in the past but I swear if I don’t get payed the right amount I’m going to have to say something.... if I even get payed tonight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yo I see like 30 mins late and 1 hour late but this parent is deadass 6 hours late hasn’t sent a text or call I’ve watched her kid since 5pm and it’s now 4:20am. She said she would be home TONIGHT. I’m going Christmas shopping tomorrow at 8am. She’s been known to short me in the past but I swear if I don’t get payed the right amount I’m going to have to say something.... if I even get payed tonight.

I would not have agreed to babysit without being paid upfront for the hours agreed to originally and I would have told her that if she was late, I would call police to come and take her kids.

[Anonymous]

I just got back from nannying. It was a last minute request and I gave up having a fun night of my own to makes some extra needed cash. The woman has under her breath said things to me like "im a bad mother". She usualy doesnt answer her phone right away when i call so ive gotten used to this, however tonight...originally she was supposed to be home at 9 pm, then called me and asked if i could stay until 12. i said yes, and was happy to have the extra hours as i had originally thought maybe it wasnt worth it. she did not show up until 3 am, and when she did, she reeked of booze and told me she drove home! i was very angry at her for driving drunk and i think i made that clear, however i spent about 2 hours thinkign about how to respond to this, while watching mr rogers documentary in her home. ugh. she is newly seperated and i think going through a difficult time, however i think her behavior was super irresponsible, and i didnt include that she has filled me in on the details of her night which include meeting a guy who is also in a relationship with children, but very unhappy. going forward i want to write her a letter and tell her i am angry and that i think she acted irresponsibly, i didnt want to express too much since i didnt know the extent of how drunk she was and i also dont want her not to pay me, thought i feel like its more important she understnd how pissed i was. anyways. comments welcome. thanks.

[Anonymous]

Do not respond to her phone calls or texts. Write her out of you life. Fenito. Finished. Dead to you. Never again. Silence is the best answer.

[Anonymous]

Is this your regular nanny employer who asked for extra babysitting? (In which case, you obviously need a little lead time to find a new job?) Or an ad hoc babysitting client that you can avoid as PP suggested?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, babysitter's time and Nanny's time is JUST AS IMPORTANT AS EVERYBODY ELSES. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. WHOEVER YOU ARE WHO THINKS OTHERWISE, your an idiot.

It's "you're" an idiot.

It's hard to take you seriously.

Plus, she pulled up a thread from 2015 to tell someone that they are an idiot!?! She should grow up and so something more or productive with her life, life learn the English language.

Bwahahah! Stupid (drunk?) "mother" employer. [b]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For casual "babysitting" type gigs: If I don't get a "we are on our way home" text within 15-20 minutes of the time I'm supposed to be off, I text with an "do you have an ETA?". If I don't get a response by the time I am supposed to be off I am calling every 10 minutes until someone picks up.

For a nanny family: If there isn't an "I'm going to be late" text/call AT LEAST 5 minutes before the time I'm supposed to be off, I call/text. Then follow up with the every 10 minutes until someone responds.

A bit harsh, maybe, but my time is worth just as much as anyone elses and I don't

??? No, your time is actually not worth just as much as anyone else's.

Actually it is worth just as much as the parents time. What is wrong with you, you clearly think babysitters are beneath you.

[Anonymous]

I’ve only had chronic lateness with one family. I will never put up with it again. It did me no favors in keeping quiet and accepting their disrespect and total disregard. Lesson learned.